Well, to add to the current situation of having to start my PhD later than i anticipated. I took this girl out from church to a fantastic fish restaurant ('cos she loves fish) two day ago, in the city of London- ok, i admit, i do like her. She is beautiful, intelligent, has a petit stature and knows what she wants in life and i admire that in a girl. In general shes girlfriend material.

We rarely talked on most occasions, so i wanted to break that invisible barrier between us by taking her out.
We had a wonderful time, the restaurant was excellent including the food and we enjoyed our conversations.

Yesterday, she called me and wanted to meet up. To cut the story short, apparently she has a problem with my age. You see, I’m 22 and she's 25 - but i have no qualms with this. She said it won't be right and bla bla bla....then surprisingly she handed back to me the money i used to pay for her own share of the dinner!!

I think I’ll stop here before i go on and on.

Come on guys and gals, what do you think?

Jesus!!! Thats more than rude! Its also surprising she has a problem with your age. As everyone on the forum knows, I love 22 year-olds 9and I am 27)

yeah that sounds alil over the edge, but cut her some slack and get the hint that she might not want to as bad as u want her. I suspect she didn't want to give you any ideas so she gave you back her share( which still does not excuse her bad manners). I'll defend her issue with age. I have a prob going out with anyone younger than me. My friends think that's a whole load of bull but I make no apologies for it. I have a younger brother ( 4 years younger) and I've watched him grow. So going out with any one younger for me feels like I'd be relating with my brother. it's sounds stupid but that's the way it is.

men are men - I have dated younger men and older men (boys, whatever) - and have dated 22 year olds that are more mature than other 50 year olds. It's just a personality thing. I am sorry she behaved so badly, but it should give you some idea of her character - I mean really, she tried to give you back the money for dinner, that's just wierd.

rude

Let me get this right....

You went out with someone. It didn't work out. She paid [retrospectively for half the dinner costs], and let you down lightly.

Cryogenics..you need to start 'getting out a bit more' if you think that's rude.

Handing back money though IS rude, Golfpro. It just isn't what etiquette demands. By doing that, the girl is basically likening the relationship she has with Cryogenic to be nothing more than a business transaction.

If she didn't feel the same, the polite way of doing things would have been to either:
a) insist on paying her share at the time of meal, or
b) thanking him for the meal at a later stage, saying that she appreciated the gesture, she feels that he wants more from the relationship that she does and cannot commit to that. And if she felt guilty maybe offer to return the favour by taking him out for a meal "as friends". Paying retrospectively when you've decided that you're not "interested" is just not the done thing, I'm afraid.

Cryo, I'd forget abouther - she sounds far too immature for you to waste any more time on her.

She sounds just like my type of gal actually. Can I have her number?

In my opinion, what she did was very patronising. First of all, she said she doesn't like younger men, than she gave you the money. It implies that she thinks you are not wealthy enough and that she feels sorry for you. I don't know why you took the money from her. I would have said: keep the money, b.

I agree it is quite odd behaviour with the money - it kinda suggesting that you expect something in return for the investment in the meal. Poor you. You should have asked her for 25% on top to cover time/expenses. I'd send her an invoice.

Hmmm...I think the age thing is a bit of a smokescreen. It's the kind of thing said when people want to let someone down light. Lot nice than saying you’re dull or such like. I'm sure if they'd have hit it off 3 years here or there wouldn't have mattered much. In my case, the last Mrs. Golfpro was almost 13 years my junior.

I'm being very flippant here because I would hope after 'just one dtae' said gent isn't too emotionally damaged, other than his male pride.

I find myself in the unprecendented situation of agreeing with Golfpro

In keeping with the context of the post, I'm sure we make very strange bedfellows.

Some interesting comments. Your right golfpro, I’m not emotionally damaged, just my male pride. After a brief reflection of that night, I decided it wasn’t worth the fuss but I let her know afterwards that giving me back the money for a friendly dinner wasn't the way to handle being uncomfortable with the ‘age thing’ but was a little insulting. She apologised.

However, I do appreciate the fact that it all has to do with people's personal preferences and understand her perspective but don’t you think that her reaction the next day after I told her how old I was during our chat over the table may highlight her insecurity with her own age?

I'd let it go [PLEASE]. It's all becoming rather embarassing to read.