Rahhhhhh! I've very nearly had it with this PhD! I had a great start in my first year but the demands of my studies and the long-distance nature of my relationship with my wife placed a great strain on my marriage which affected my work in a big way. This culminated with me and my ex agreeing to divorce at the beginning of my 2nd year, at which point my work suffered even more drastically. Then a couple of months later I got involved with a postdoc in our small lab on the rebound and I can't even begin to tell you what a mess that situation has become; it turned very sour and our supervisor/boss got involved.

Right now, I have been banned from that lab and from seeing said postdoc and moved to my other supervisors lab (not because I'm at any more fault, but because this isn't an option for her). I know I'm more than able to meet the demands of this PhD, but the biggest crises of my personal life seem to have transpired right in the middle of my studies and I concede it's affected my work but my supervisors haven't a trace of compassion! I really enjoy the work and am passionate about it, but my relationship with my supervisors has completely deteriorated throughout all this and I've come so close to just leaving. I try to tell myself to persevere as there's only a year left now, but I am highly tempted to just leave and try to remember what it feels like to be a happy person again.

Don't leave.

These are the test we all had to face. One year on you'll have it completed and be glad you didn't quit.

I feel a bit better after venting, but I think my original purpose in registering here was to ask about prospects after finishing a PhD without references from supervisors? Would it be possible to direct employers towards postdocs in the lab for references? There's not a chance I'd allow my current supervisors to in any way influence the opinion of my future employers!

shouldn't be an issue. I am pretty sure that a) you might be able to establish an improvement in your working relationship with your supervisor b) there might be other individuals or academics willing to act as referees and c) actually completing the PhD despite the difficulties should be your priority right now rather than thinking about the next job. After all, you started a PhD for certain reasons. You don't want to change your mind after so much time/one marriage/social life is wasted - not for nothing. If you get your PhD you will at least know that all that trouble has resulted in a doctorate. Contrarily, if you quit now you've lost everything for nothing.

a big virtual hug to you. PhD is a serious challenge in life and affects everything. Dont give up. About references- in any case you will need more than one reference. PhD examiners usually write references as well+ maybe you have a good relationship with other people in the faculty/lab/department with whom you have done some work together. People udnerstand that in some cases supervisors and their students dont go well on....

This is life I guess and it comes in packages which you open to find unwanted presents. Anyway, from my experience you can never be alone with a phd and completely focus on that, there are testing times as others said. Sometimes its relationships other times its money mental health issues or family problems. All of us will experience at least one of these as they are common life problems that get in the way of our peaceful life. So, don't take hasty decisions, learn from your lessons and prove to yourself mostly that you can come out of this with a PhD. Your supervisor will get around this by the time you finish and probably be impressed if you get through till the end. Have faith in yourself about not doing same mistakes again and put your head down and work harder to get through this.

please dont leave. life is full of many trials. its a long journey we all have to make. tribulations come in different forms. have faith in your ability to overcome this. you have already lost your marriage; dont give way to quitting cause for now this is what you have. your supervisors will come around. you can do it with a little faith. wishing you well. in hope.tsipat