You see I'm not even sure why I'm posing this. I just wanted a sounding board I guess.
I'm about to finish the 1st drought of my thesis, nearly a year over due. I'm not happy with it but I doubt I ever would be. the truth is it's been hell. I went into it thinking i'd be so fast and results would come so quickly I'd be writing my thesis up a year early. The truth is in my 1st year my hard drive crashed loosing me 8 months of research and many personal files. My brother got married, divorced, moved in with me and my parents who were offering my free accommodation since I ended up doing a PhD at my home town university. My father had a serious stroke nearly died, recovered, my grandmother who I was very close to died. my mother caught pneumonia and had a heart atack and nearly died. To top it off I've been beset by health issues in the last year.

The true irony, when I started this PhD I felt like a broken man full of grief struggling with personal issues and part of the reason I took the PhD is I was fairly confident I could do it, be in charge of my own time unlike a 9 to 5 job, i got offered a government grant, so i figured I'd use the flexibility and independence the PhD offered me to try to sort my issues out and get back on my feet but if anything I now have more issues.

I really have no passion for my project which is odd because I've worked very hard on it and pushed for new innovative territory. Sill I feel confident when my PhD gets read by some one who knows what they are doing they will either declare it brilliant or trite and meaningless. My best result is a new maths technique for solving a type of equation and I have a horrible feeling some expert might come a long and tell me it's not new or that it only applies to trivial useless cases.

So I'm coming out of a PhD arguably in a worse state mentally than I went in, definitely in a worse state physically, And the principal thing my PhD has taught me about my self is I don't want to be an academic. Oh don't get me wrong I love applied maths and STEM related stuff, I love research really just not academic research. I want to feel empowered over my life for a change and all academia seems to do is work on very narrow topics with questionable originality. Really ground breaking research seems rare at least in my university.

I have no idea what do do next, assuming i graduate which i expect is prity certain even with my miss givings about my best result. It's not like there is a job agency for people like me. Scientist wanted to design giant robot, develop mathematical models of novel fusion generators. Ok you might find those examples flippant but the really big and interesting projects don't seem to recruit even if they'd have me. And even if they would I'm not sure if thats enough ... I don't really like my self right now, who I've become, yet I don't really feel empowered to change that.

Honestly if I thought I could get away with it I'd go and do another degree. Go live in halls

Go live in halls of residence with the freshers unlike the first time. I've always had a bit of the peter pan going on attitude wise, but aside from it not really being an option financially I doubt it would work out for me given my age now. which is depressing. I feel old and feel like academics has sucked to much of my youth like a vampire.

So my question, just kicking an intellectual football around here, what next?

Start looking for jobs NOW. Don't wait for the PhD to finish as job hunting takes ages.

Remember you may not do your dream job straight off the bat, it can take people years of work before they find the role they really wanted. Don't expect all your aspirations to be met in the first job you take after your PhD.

If you are able to be geographically mobile then apply for a jobs everywhere. Job hunting is far easier when you can live anywhere in the world rather than within 50 miles of a small town or similar.

There are plenty of jobs for mathematicians, talk with any industrial partners and network around your department. Your careers service may be of use too.

If you are not sure what to do (and it seems clear you are not) then just apply for anything you are qualified for. Two reasons. Firstly you may find you really enjoy the job you end up with even if you thought you wouldn't and secondly it is 5000% easier to get a job when you are already employed!

If you want to work say designing fusion generators (as an example!) then look at companies who may embrace that technology in the future or who are researching it and apply to them for ANY position you are qualified for. Once you are within the company it is far easier to move around within it. It may take a good few years to get to the right department in the company to do the work you want to do but it is easier once they already employ you.

agree with screamingaddabs, start applying for jobs now and apply everywhere and anywhere.

You're certainly not the first or the last person to feel like this during the PhD - I feel a mixture of emotions as I come to the close of mine but I have learned a lot about myself as a person as a result of the experience. You are really close to the end now so you just need to make the final push to get to the other side. I'm sorry you've had so many family issues, have you told anyone at university about this? I'm quite sure you should have been able to take unpaid leave/compassionate/suspension etc anyway.

Keep going, you're nearly there! And come back here and moan whenever you want! It really helps me feel less isolated (up)

Hi CodeWarrior, your post struck quite a chord with me! I grew very resentful of my life and generally the whole academic business during my PhD. All those dreams and ambitions turned to dust.

However, having come through it and now over 3 years down the line, my life is actually pretty successful. I couldn't see what I would do/wanted to do when I finished my PhD. I'm just about to start a new job that's a great promotion for me, but have had a few other successful jobs as well. And I've even managed to make use of some of the things I learned in my PhD (statistics related)! The other softer skills (research planning, executing a piece of work, writing up, presenting) have also been a boon and been often commented how good my skills are in comparison to those fresh from undergrad.

I've always worked in private sector, and would never ever go into academia. I've done cutting edge work with/for some great companies as a consultant, my new job is going to take on more of that and push the boundaries too. I earn more than many at professor level do and generally have a good life.

My point is, there is actually a lot out there for people with PhD skills and especially science/maths skills outside of academia if that's not what you want. But also don't be afraid to just get into a job and start picking up the skills even if it's not what you want to do long term - no job is wasted, my first job wasn't great but actually what I'm doing is going back to that industry now but higher up the scale with the more interesting work.

(Sorry if that's a bit rambled, I tend to type as things come into my head!) Am happy to talk to you further about my experience if you want to send me a PM.