anyone out there feeling like they have no social life like i do???? day in and out am in the library, if not am rushing to my part time teaching job. this phd life is not easy even though i love my research topic to bits. oh dears do bear with me i just feel like moaning a bit to mantain my sanity. i used to care about what i wear, my hair and everything and now its all gone! i feel like i have changed. Am always thinking of my next move, like ok, i have to pick this and that book up; photocopy this and that; write this and that! so anyhow today i washed my hair, blow dried it, did my nails. feeling better though i know come monday i will be back at it!

Yes, I've felt that so many times then started to try to pick up my social life again once I got depressed about it. I put on so much weight and neglected myself for a while. Then I found at the moment I'd prefer shutting myself away. I know that sounds strange but either being broke, because I find it hard to work and study same time, plus not having anything in common with people anymore because i'm so stressed about the problems with phD !! I started beating myself up about it but then realised, this isnt uncommon keep going tsipat :) take heart that i'm feeling very lonely too, but it will be worth it and there will be friends for you at the end of the phD and even more will want to know you :-X Xx Donut

It gets better after the PhD, so carry on working towards that doctorate, but look after yourselves along the way. All PhD students go through hell, so we're not alone.

thanks donut and UFO for your encouragement. it helps hearing from similar others. and i think the thing is being always broke doesn't help. been working 14 hours a week and already i feel like i shouldnt be working at all! and yes friends become very few and they hardly understand this whole business of being busy. will get there. Donut dear if shutting yourself keeps you going, good for you. whatever works goes so long the supervisors are smiling! thanking you pips.

Sorry to hear your having such a rotten time. I think most PhD students go though periods of hardship. After submitting my thesis I'm getting ready to viva and still the stress keeps comming (will they acutally ask me for viva or reject on a single read though!)

For the last 2 years I've been flat out too, in the early years of my PhD I exercised and socialised like a normal human. But these last 2 years

cont ..

I knew I had it all to do (started a lecturing job full time) and I really pushed myself to get though it. Perhaps we all go though this because its 'training' for our future lives as academics? The mental equvelent of SAS/Navy Seals training perhaps?

Hope you manage to keep going with it, recently I've sort of looked back and seen how far I've come its been quite a journey but if I can get though the viva it'll have been worth it.

Tiggs

thanks Tiggs. this is definitely some training of some sort. as they say you can't have the goods without paying for them! feeling better today though i still feel disenchanted by the way i now "look". anyhow I will get through this.
at least you are almost there, am just in my second year and i already feel nuts. wishing you well with your viva. Cheers Tiggs and have yourself a stress free september!
tsipat

Hi there, I'm not sure how far you're into your PhD - but never fear it's normal... I've long since stopped caring much about what I look like (ok not quite, but as an abstract thought). If you're not near the end - do take more time out - as you still need to even near the end. We need friends to keep us sane and keep us going - the odd break when you're feeling bleh is more likely to do you good than harm. I know... it's easy to get so immersed in research that if you don't take occasional breaks away it's difficult to see wood from the trees. For me it was a long chatty coffee with a friend in town every so often that really revived me... pubs with lots of people were more difficult - you feel like you loose social skills working so hard!

I completely relate to you... I often feel I am not the person I used to be.. and I really miss my old self. I used to be optimistic, cheerful and fun.. and now I am just a miserable cow, and a bundle of nerves! I keep thinking that if the old me, met the today me, she would want to have nothing to do with me!

I think a little break will do me good thanks. will have a word with my supervisor though i keep thinking where will i go since am sooo broke, i mean i am always broke! something has to give though. am only in my second year and i assume things will get worse. i have a few good cronies though each time i see them they are always asking; how'z the PhD going???? which really doesn't help.

perhaps we shall never be the same!

I find having a social life hard because I feel so guilty taking the time out. I have to work PT as well as study, so I feel like every free second should be spent studying in order to complete on time (not gossiping or going out)

Oh god, you have my upmost sympathy. I am only just about to start my PhD and I have already started to feel guilty when I'm not reading papers. Is this what I have to look forward to

dont worry!!! im going through the same thing. Im about to start my second year and seem to have hit the lack of motivation stage. I used to socailise with loads of people but my network consists of work, housemate and b/f. oh dear!! but the thing that gets me out of bed is the knowledge that no one is doing what im doing, so i better get on and do it before someone else does! x

don't worry: we all go through that...but the good news is you also get times where you realise that you are glad you are doing a phd. at least you know what you are trying to achieve for the next years of your life. believe it or not, it made me feel good at some stage. i know that's pathetic...

when i was complaining too much, one of my sup used to say: don't get all worked up. just get on with it. it's only a phd for god's sake! i found it a bit tough and insensitive at the time but with some hindsight, it's true. take off the 'phd' word and it's nothing worse than some of the stuff other people -and us too- have to go through.

listen to me...trying to give some advice and i can't even get myself to set up a final deadline. fear of closure?

bluelife