I am moving to work at a German research institute for six months next month to complete my PhD - any tips for sustaining a relationship long distance. We have been together almost 3 years and I feel so worried and guilty about going... :(

Telephone, letters and the looking forward to the fact it is not permanent. I have been away from my other half for four months now owing to "interesting times" moving house/

ahhh chris!! welcome! I've been doing long distance for about a year and a half now, and before that we only saw each other at weekends so it's something I'm familiar with :)
First up, don't feel guilty about going away, you have to do it for your PhD so that's that. no point staying and not getting it cos then you'll just end up resenting your boyf and that's never going to be good. So while you will be away, don't feel bad about it. It's 6 months until you finish, is there the possibility of extension and it taking longer? Having a set timeline makes long distance soo much easier, as you both know it will be over soon and you'll be together, but keep in mind that it just might take longer in the end.
Make sure you stay in contact lots, video calls are great if you have a good web connection, otherwise plenty of msn/phone calls/texts etc. O2 do a good deal for international call. If you have an O2 phone in Germany, you pay £10 a month for the my europe extra thing so you can send messages cheaper, and best of all he can call you on it using free minutes. It's worked a treat for me so I'd definately recommend it.
Also, an important thing to remember is that when you're apart, as well as missing all the usual things of being with each other, it's really common for little things that might be a little argument at home to become a big deal apart. You have to both recognise this and don't let them get too big, if someone is annoyed deal with it or it will be a mess. It's so easy for insecurities and jealousies to flare up if you're not aware of it. Also when you go away, he'll prob be feeling like you've abandoned him and that you're away off having fun and you'll forget about him etc. It's only natural to think that, so make sure you take time to send little picture messages or whatever to show you've not forgotten :)
Lastly, try and decide between you how the visits are going to work. For me, we do it turn about, so if i go one month, he come the next month etc. It has to be balanced, one person can't do all the work to keep it going and you both have to make as much of an effort as possible. So decide in advance how much time you're ablt to take off and when is the best time to see each other. Don't think of it being a full 6 months apart, take it in smaler steps, like a month or 2 apart then you see each other. then another month or two etc... :)
I think that's about all I can say now, it's really not the worst thing in the world! the time spent together is so much better than it would normally be cos you appreciate it more. It will really show up how you feel about each other and if your relationship is strong, this will be no problem to you then :)

Good luck, i really mean that, it's one of the hardest things ever but you can get through it!

I had a Long distance relationship for 1 and 1/2 yrs it is tough but we where able to see each other once month for a week or so! However bare it mind it's only for 6 months, that's not that long really in the grand scheme of things.
I'd say being open and honest with each other about how your both feeling is a good way of staying strong. It's no good one of you saying 'I'm too busy but I'll talk later, is that OK?'  and the other saying 'yes' but really meaning 'no'
I agree there's no need to feel guilty about following your career ambitions and furthering yourself, if your relationship is going to last you both need to understand and support each other!

Good luck x

I've never had a long distance relationship but I was just thinking that it would be a great way to build up some wonderful love letters. I've never had a love letter. Clearly I'm just one big romantic.

Also, could your other half come visit halfway through or something like that? Just for a weekend.

A

I'm just moving to another part of the country to start my PhD - my other half can't really leave his job as with the current situation it'll be difficult for him to find a new one, so we are going to be long distance for the time being. My course is 4 years - 6 months seems pretty easy in comparison! We had a long distance relationship in the past for 1 year when I was doing my industrial placement so I am hoping it will be a similar experience although I know I won't be able to travel back to see him as much as I did then due to more work. :-(

I think it's nice to send letters and little thoughtful gifts occasionally, and talk over video messaging (eg. iChat) every few days. I think its best to be honest about the times when you will be so busy that you won't have time to chat so they don't worry that something has happened to you or feel abandoned.

Thank you for all your thoughtful replies :) I guess I am mostly worried because after these 6 mths I will need to get a job somewhere and that will not happen where the boyfriend is doing his PhD. Still, with hope it will be a job in the UK and we can see each other at the weekends. For now I will visit him once a month, and he can stay at mine too. I guess if I think that I will be "home" for Christmas it doesn't seem so long :) And then two months into 2010 I will be in the UK again.

Lots of nice and practical ideas to work on :)