This thread is meant to serve partially as a place to vent, and partially as a general place to look for advice.

I'm a part-time self-funded doctoral student (humanities), four years in at a Russell Group University (top in the country for my field). I started my PhD with what appeared to be reasonable prospects of getting funding at some point from one of three different sources; but all of them turned out to be unworkable over the following year. So I work part-time and run a web business on the side to make the money to pay for my living costs and tuition fees.

Unfortunately, that's the tip of the iceberg. I have a supervisor who very much subscribes to the old school 'Come back in six years and show me what you have' approach to supervising (when I first showed up he didn't even know he was my supervisor). So I've had absolutely no active academic direction or help at any stage. I meet with him maybe twice a year for a forty five minute meeting? And he otherwise sends me three sentence emails maybe another three or four times a year. He's been absolutely spot on when it comes to things like grant paperwork to his credit, but he's otherwise not present.

My family is poor. I've been struggling to raise the funds to move out for some time, as fees and needing to cover some of my mother's medical bills drain most of my surplus funds. My long-term girlfriend has severe mental health problems and requires constant attention and support. Her family is dysfunctional, with her father's dementia rapidly deteriorating. They too have needed considerable support of late (her mother had a major operation). There are no siblings or other close family to help.

My PhD subject area was a huge amount to bite off. It requires considerable amounts of travel, and perhaps four times as much raw paperwork/analysis/processing as your average PhD in my field. It also spans a few different subjects instead of being confined to one. Due to my library being an absolute pain to utilise for several reasons (which I won't go into here) I have to fund all my book reading through physical purchases.

Finally, I myself have struggled with mental health issues my whole life. I've grappled with and come to terms with most of them, but the constant pressure of all the above really gets to me sometimes. It manifests as physical exhaustion and weakness, which as a physically strong man, is quite strange to feel when it happens. I'm four years in, upgraded, and just about holding it together; but it doesn't half make you wonder why you bother.

I fell into the PhD more by chance than anything else, and whilst I enjoy it, knowing what a rat run getting a job is afterwards? I'm really not sure about it. I'm in a better position than most to aim for it, as I've got independent income and am well used to being completely isolated as a researcher. The thought of another seven years of almost-poverty and working my arse off for scraps is not, however, particularly appealing.

Is the academic end job actually worth it? Opinions invited.

I am sorry that things turn out this way for you, CannonKing. It must be so hard.

I do not encourage students to self fund, especially since there is no guarantee for a job at the end of a PhD. Your supervisor could ideally have been more supportive in terms of supervision and helping you apply for scholarships.

Are you near finishing your PhD? If not and if you do not see yourself being an academic researcher in the future, would you consider looking for a job you love and wrapping up after you found one? I encourage students to finish their PhD if they are nearly there but if they are self-paying, still in early candidature, not having a supportive supervisor, not considering academia as a long-tern career or having financial/health/family stresses, then I would encourage students to rethink if they really need the PhD or if they are better off with a master and a job.

Is an academic job worth it? Hmmm... It's a bit personal and hard to answer. I know of many academics who absolutely hate the grant-writing and uncertainty of their job. It certainly is "funny" if you think that academia is one of the few places whereby your employer (the university) not only doesn't pay you (and you have to find your own salary and project funds), but you have to pay them extensive admin/facility fee as well... On the other hand, I also know of a very minor few who do very well and enjoy a steady stream of grants plus backing of other big shot profs... And there are a few others who a bit in between love/hate and trying to make things work.

Hi tru,

I'm four years in and will likely take another two to finish. I've knocked out a solid half of a draft thesis, and done a lot of research.

I've considered dropping out in the past and pressing some of my entrepreneurial schemes, but thing is, I think the academic bug has bitten me hard enough I'd want to finish this research anyway. So I figure I might as well endure, finish up, and then make the decision on where to go next. Bit of a sticker as well, I like to finish what I start. I wouldn't do it again if I could go back in time, but I see no reason to waste all my sacrifice this far.

As said, I'm self sufficient enough I can carry on working as an academic after graduating with no change in tempo. It's just a case of trying to ascertain whether it's worth the hassle or not. I don't like working for other people or being managed much, so academia seemed ideal, but from what I hear these days, that's not so much the case anymore...

From your last paragraph, I think you'd hate academia. The actual job is very different to a PhD and if you're entrepreneurial you'd find the admin side frustrating.

To me, this says you need to try it and find out. You're already well on your way to finishing. And then rather than thinking that at the end when you are awarded your PhD you need to make your decision and that is that, you can try it out and see if it is for you or not. If you left, you might never know (at least if you are feeling the same uncertainty then as you do now). Or it might be that you enjoy whatever other thing you choose to do so much that you know it was the right decision to leave.

I know a very successful early career researcher who was producing lots of interesting research and then decided it wasn't for her and left to work in the commercial world.

One thing I would be wary of doing is making a decision based on hearsay. Much better to try it and see for yourself.

Ps. Love the avatar!

CannonKing,
Do you know what an academic career entails?
You will only know whether it worth it if you know what it involves.
From what I have seen and discussed with full time academics, they usualyy perform almost no research personally. Postdocs and postgrads are hired for that. A bit of teaching and exam setting/marking etc. A ton of administrative stuff to keep the department operational and constant funding seeking and applying and paper writing, reviewing.

It's a glorified admin job.
Industry is full of these types of job with no PhD required.
Is this really what you are after? If so, go for it.

Tudor_queen, I'm applying to try and do a little bit of teaching in the academic year ahead, so I'll see how that goes down. And thanks! I'm honestly a bit surprised someone recognised it that quickly!

pm, I'm in humanities, so there's not so much in the way of grant applications or managing teams of postdocs. More time buried in books and data. Which is part of the problem really; it's much harder to get ensconced in a department when you're not in STEM. Less positions all around. It means I'll probably have to carry on like I am for another six or so years after getting my PhD doing a bit of teaching on the side whilst I publish a few books and a dozen odd articles. And I'm a little bored of living on the financial margins. I don't want to go through all that unless I know what's on the other end is worth the struggle, you know?

Hmm, in that case, maybe the people you want to be talking to are those in your field who are already successfully on the other side so as to speak. A trusted lecturer in the department? They could advise you about your prospects and give you an idea of what it is really like from their perspective. From that, you can make your decision about whether it's worth it for you. That's the best I can offer here! All the best!

CannonKing, I absolutely agree you don't want to go through that without knowing whether it's worth it. As TQ says above, you really need to focus on gaining knowledge of exactly what the job will entail if successful.
I went through the same process and came to the conclusion that I would rather lick the pavement for a month than spend a single day as an academic as I described above; on the other hand, others will happily and willingly spend a decade or more trying to gain a full time position doing exactly this job. I personally know of someone who haunted a university for 17 years before getting his first permanent job and I have several former colleagues who were around 40 years of age before finding their first permanent gig. You might be in for a long ride. It's as well to know the risk of that up front.

You are already venting so I wonder whether you really are in this for the long run. Also, you mentioned you were at a RG uni. Is that relevant to your struggle? Did you expect that to make a difference to your career prospects?

CannonKing, I also have a humanities PhD from a Russel Group University in UK. My personal opinion is that yes, it is absolutely worth it.

What concerns me a little in your OP is that you are badly supervised, seem to think this is normal, you are bleeding money left and right on books, you dont have a grant, you are struggling with mental health issues and caring for others.

To be honest, it seems to me you are trying to do too much. First of all, get a better way to find books. PM me if you want more details. Second, speak to somebody about supervision. Third, find out about counselling.

In my experience, it comes a time during the PhD that you will be struggling. For me this was at the end of year 1. I changed my research topic and was able to carry on. I had my share of issues but not as bad as yours. I think that you need to be careful because you have so much pressure piled on!

Having said all that, I am now realing the fruits of my efforts and it’s pretty awesome. I get to research stuff I am really interested in and there’s nobody really telling me what to do. I get to travel to conferences and live abroad and its all funded and stress free.

Tudor Queen & pm - I've chatted over with a few people in my discipline. The ones who made it generally seem to enjoy it, and , the academic job does still appear to be a steady job where you get to investigate what interests you. Which is what I want. But I've heard tales of the sector changing over the last decade, along with talks of some institutions being different, and so forth. HE has changed a lot of late, and it's becoming difficult to gauge whether a) the job is still what I think it is, and b) if it will stay that way.

The other side is the stories from people I know who are even now struggling to get a foot in the door. In some ways, I'm actually ahead of the game and better off there. Once my PhD is in hand; I'll have all the means I need to carry on working, even if I'm not amazingly well off. Most people who got a grant usually struggle to make the transition and pay their way independently/balance research with another workload. I'm already sorted in that regard. Question is more: do I want to? If you get my drift. That's why I'm asking those of you here with some experience. More empirical data/stories, etc. It'll help me to make the decision when the time comes.

Mattfab - Thank you for your input regarding your own career. It's encouraging.

Trust me when I say I don't believe my low level of supervision is normal. I'm fully aware of it. But I came to the conclusion after my first year that there was little I could do about it without potentially sabotaging myself. Trying to switch supervisor is fraught with peril and horror stories, and you never know who your supervisor knows.

The flip side of the coin though, is that it has helped me to become an independent researcher much quicker. No spoon feeding, everything research-related I've found I've got on my own. I've separately built up a support network of a few other academics (not students) who are willing to give me the odd proof read and discuss ideas with me, etc etc. I've gotten so good at spotting valuable books cheap on ebay I'm wondering if I should branch out into buying up excess and shifting it at auction. And so on. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I'm not at any risk of dropping out, I intend to see this through. I know a lot of people have mental health problems during a PhD which can impact their progress; but when you've had them most of your life, you've usually learnt how to accommodate it by this stage. When to take rest days, when to get drunk with your friends, when to take a week off, when to vent somewhere/to someone (which is somewhat therapeutic), etc. Bit of a 'Hello darkness my old friend' approach. You know the ways to make it all copable. My crunch time was back in undergrad, so I've got all that out of the way already!

No, for me, the question is whether or not to pursue the job when I've got that PhD firmly in my hand.

CannonKing

Realistically speaking, in the humanities, after the PhD you either go for a lectureship or for a postdoc if you want to stay in academia. The entry salary for a junior lecturer here is about £30/35K more or less. A postdoc is pretty much the same money, but instead of working for it, you need to win a fellowship (British Academy or AHRC) and take your money and project somewhere. Basically create your own project, pitch it to a funding body, get the money upfront, and then see it through.

Either way its pretty competitive but, in my opinion, the payout is pretty good. I used to make half of that when I was working as a customer service specialist. And that is the entry salary. Once you become a lecturer or reader, it will be much more.

But the point is, whatever the salary, you get to be paid to do research and teach. How much do you care about doing research? for me, its pretty vital. I feel my everyday life would be empty without it. I need the mental stimulation that comes with research. I feel that teaching doesn't require that much effort after the first 6 months or so, you just slip into a routine. research however is always challenging, and I need that in my life.

To me the perks of the job are: carrying out research that is meaningful to me, going to conferences and speak to like-minded academics, publishing papers and getting feedback, being considered an expert in my field, helping people who ask me, and of course, being paid for what I am good at.