Hiya,

I am coming to the end of my first year of a PhD in postfeminism and popular culture. I was wondering if there are any other PhD students out there who are working in the area of women's studies, feminism, cultural studies and/or film studies, who are finding that they are losing faith in their subjects. The more I work on my PhD, the more alienated I feel by these disciplines - a year ago I would have balked at the thought of me saying this, but now it all seems increasingly trivial and misinformed, like it bears little relation to reality. Is there anybody else out there experiencing something similar? It seems like all the other PhD students I know, my supervisor, and most of the scholars I read do not share these doubts at all, and I find myself questioning all this on my own.

I hope there's someone else out there to talk about this with! Thanks :)

HI Caiteight. I'm doing a film PhD, and no, I don't feel that way; but I do think a lot of what is written is rubbish, I'm just doing everything I can to make sure mine isn't. I think that's all any of us can do.

Also, I think most PhD students go through a phase of not believing in what they are doing - I have - but that's part of the process and my doubts passed. It was a bit like kicking the wheels of a car before purchasing, if that makes any sense.

Also, you may feel this way because your research is so focussed on theory - that, by it's nature, is bound to be removed from reality.

I'm not working in your area, but I did have problems actually finding the focus of my research, which is perhaps part of your problem? I thought I knew where it was when I started, but the more I looked at it, the less it seemed I was looking in the right place, but I couldn't see where the right place was, it was all very difficult, knowing there was a reason for what is going on, but being unable to see why the obvious ones were just not hitting the mark. what I was writing fitted the bill as far as the original ideas about the problem, and my supervisors liked it, but still left me feeling I was on the wrong track.  Finally I found what I was looking for, funnily enough by reading 'doing a literature review' by Chris Hart. I wasn't the how to do the review that did it, it was the process he illustrated which, when I used it to try to sort out my material for my review suddenly revealed what (I hope) is the answer I was looking for, and it wasn't at all obvious. Now I'm off on a different track, which is flying in the face of conventional thinking but it is so much better now. Maybe what you need is to find your eureka moment?

Hi there, I'm not in your area, although mine is related to women, just ones that lived over 100 years ago ;-) I have been feeling a kind of 'what the hell am I doing this for' emotion the last few weeks - I really can't see the point - I mean, its not exactly the cure for cancer is it, and does it really matter..... well no, apart from to about 10 (maybe 20) other academics :-/ It gets me down sometimes that I'm doing all this work and it will be read by maybe 3 or 4 people. I dunno, I guess its the nature of the game and I know from talking to people ahead of me (I'm at the end of the 2nd year) that it does get better again but I've lost all my passion right now and really can't quite work out why I'm spending so much of my life on something of no interest or practical application to anyone or anything..... (phd blues anyone?) If I find it improves and I'm able to engage with my work again I'll let you know ;-)

Hi Eska, Joyce and Stressed!

Thank you so much for your help, and I'm sorry it has taken me a while to reply. I kinda wanted to take in everything you three said and mull it over for a few weeks, and get back to you once I had something to report... unfortunately, despite lots of frustrating days of painstakingly trying to figure out what to do, nothing has really changed :-(

Your analogy of kicking the car wheels before you purchase really struck a chord with me Eska, and I thought that was what I was doing. But I don't know now... it's like I've kicked so much that I've kicked myself out of my discipline and totally alienated myself from my topic, like to the point of no return!! And I have got to the point where the car has totally fallen apart and I may have to admit to myself that it isn't worth purchasing... all a bit of an abstract way of saying I think I may have to seriously consider leaving the PhD, which I would be so disappointed in myself for doing, and would feel such a failure.

Your reply was really helpful Joyce - I wish I could get to my 'eureka moment', I just don't know how!! I don't know what the focus of my research is anymore. I will definitely take a look at Chris Hart's book, if it worked for you maybe-just-maybe it might for me!

How are you getting on, Stressed? Has your situation improved? I really hope so!!

Thanks again guys :-)

Every so often, in any established area there comes a time when it is necessary to grab it by its tail and give it a good shake to see what drops out :$. This has happened loads of times in the past in all subjects, and is necessary for the development of any area. what you need to do is not give up on the research you are doing at the moment, but to keep hold of the thought that you might want to head off in a slightly different direction, think laterally whilst you read note down any bits that you feel are either interesting for what they contain, but maybe more importantly what they do not contain. (a bit of discourse analysis might be useful here) For example, a school handed out a 'questionnaire' to parents asking about homework and other things, one question they asked was about the place where students studied, they were pleased to report that a high percentage of parents had said that their child had a designated quiet place to work, which they thought was good and the end of the story. They completely failed to realise that this meant that the rest did not, and some answers suggested that the pupil never had a quiet place to work. As far as they were concerned they had the answer, but of course there was actually a far more important issue that needed to be addressed which was where the other students worked, and how this might affect them. This is just a random example but the same thing may be true for your area, you may be working towards something that others have missed. As long as you can locate it broadly within the area, and logically defend your ideas, there should always be room for an alternative position and is something that should be welcomed. It may take a while for the idea to come though, you just have to be patient! :-)

Hi - I'm only finishing my MSc at the moment (start PhD in Jan 2011) but I'm in a similar area to you I think, I study psychosocial studies in a very liberal academic department, and so I have always had feminist theory drummed into me. I would say that I generally agreed with it and I would consider myself to be a feminist, however sometimes I don't think I am as liberal as I should be if I am going to fit in to my department. Like I don't necessarily see the point of Queer theory - theoretically I think it is very interesting, but practically it is quite futile; in my opinion living with no sense of boundaries or dichotomies, namely gender, is quite self-indulgent and ridiculous. Its ideas like that which make me slighly ambivalent about my subject sometimes - I want to work with real people with real problems rather than those who just seem to rebel for the sake of it - people who are too concerned with their identities need to look outside of themselves I think.

Sorry for ranting - but does that make any sense?
Nx