Has anyone else here completely lost it when trying to make a academic intervention in a well attended seminar given by an important academic in their field. I had what I wanted to say all clear in my head and then panicked when I was speaking, resulting in my mind going blank.

I now feel totally humiliated and I'm assuming that I'm just not cut out for the academic world. Speaking in front of people has never been my strong point but I've always pushed myself to do it, to varying degrees of success, accepting the fact that 1) I'll never be a great speaker and 2) I can't do anything about the fact that I go bright red when I speak. This experience seems to have undone all the progress I've made in the past - I don't what to risk a similar experience in the future. Can one get by in the academic world without opening your mouth (apart from presentations which I can just about do as I'm well prepared)?
:-(

I have huge memory problems due to brain damage, so would forget questions part way through, if I didn't write brief notes before hand. I have my notepad open all the way through seminars, write very brief summaries of questions I want to ask (usually rather a lot LOL!), with Q beside them, and then I ask from that. It helps me a lot. Maybe it would help you too?

Don't worry too much about it, Kollantai - I think this is natural when speaking in a new environment and when we feel there's so much pressure on us to shine. I think the thing is not to worry too much about making a fool of yourself - the chances are you really didn't, and if you seemed nervous at all I think people would be understanding about how difficult it can be for students just starting out. Any kind of public speaking gets easier with experience.

I know this myself - in my previous life before being a PhD student, I had to do a lot of public speaking, and at first I was just like you, easily flustered and with a mind that went blank just when I needed to think. But I gradually got better at it, until by the end I could stand up and speak without notes to packed rooms for forty or more minutes and really entertain people. It didn't come naturally, but by the end nobody could have known that just from watching me. In the early days I countered my nerves by having written notes, and thinking things through very carefully before I spoke, and always being over-prepared, but the need for that, and the feeling of a blank mind, really does go with a little experience.

agree with the others. and bear in mind that you probably don't actually go red, you probably just think you do. I'm the same, I assumed I went bright red, but I had a room full of friends and strangers and they all assured me afterwards that I didn't, including people who I know would have said "hey beetroot face" if I had have done!

Hey! I really sympathise with you as I have similar issues with public speaking! I am terrified, whether it is teaching, seminars, conferences and so on. Last year I had to attend an NHS ethics meeting (to gain NHS ethical approval) with over 20 NHS consultants, and even though I was so well prepared, after the first sentence my mind went blank, I stopped talking, then had to apologise and start again! I was so embarrassed but they were all lovely and I got through it. I think you do need to be able to do this if you want a successful career in academia, but just one blip absolutely does not mean you are not cut out for it! Just like some people need practice with writing papers or stats or whatever, some people need to build their confidence up with presenting. I keep submitting abstracts for conferences, even really big ones, because I just know I have to force myself to do it and that it will get easier. So keep going- as my sup says, just take little steps. First maybe just present to the rest of your team, then to a group of PhD students and so on, until you have a bit more confidence. Keep plodding and you will get there in the end- and if you're nervous, so what- most people appreciate what a nerve-wracking experience presenting can be and no-one will think badly of you if you are showing your nerves a bit! Good luck with it, KB

Thanks for your responses, words of encouragement and suggestions. I think for me its probably a question of trying to work out when I am capable of getting my ideas across and when I should just take a back seat (like in last week's seminar). I felt I had to have something to say since it was was broadly in my area but really should have realised that I'm not that good at expressing myself "spontaneously" in that kind of audience. I shall see it as a learning curve and focus on what I am good at, whilst trying to improve as far as I can what I'm not good at (expressing my ideas in an academic crowd, or in any other crowd for that matter).

Just wish I could stop reliving that cringe-worthy moment in my head......

:$

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I think everyone struggles with this to a greater or lesser extent - you don't sound so bad at all! I think this is just a question of practice and experience. I get very nervous speaking to a room of people - almost moreso if I'm asking a question from the floor rather than giving a paper - and I find I can't formulate sentences on the spot because my mind goes so blank. I have to plan what I'll say, write down the question or notes on my notepad, then practise saying it in my head beforehand. Perhaps writing down some notes on a notepad will help you.

I also heard a tip from somebody whose face and neck blushes when public speaking that wearing light colours, like white or pastels, and avoiding black and red beside your face can lessen the effect. But to be honest, this just happens to some people and I don't think anyone really cares. Also, your face might feel hot but not actually be red.

I sympathise as well, I don't find it easy to contribute in big meetings etc, I agree that in a way it's harder than standing up to give a talk or presentation, because at least in that case you have a chance to prepare and practise what you're going to say! I sometimes get into this awful situation where I start a sentence and realise I don't know how to finish it, and it just trails off in a pathetic manner. It probably didn't seem as bad as you think to other people though, these things often feel worse than they really are, especially if you're inclined to feel self-conscious anyway. I'm sure lots of people in academia have been through similar experiences.

I agree about writing down a few notes to remind yourself of the points you want to make, can be useful for those moments when you're just lost for words. It gets easier with practice, and as you start to feel more confident in your own knowledge and expertise in your area.