Hi there

Newbie to the forum.

Feeling really lost. Just coming up to the end of my first year and have to write my upgrade report. I am finding it really difficult because my data is not fantastic. Essentially I did not have huge lab experience before starting my PhD but worked in a related field. (supervisor took a bit of a punt!). It has taken me all this time to learn a lot of techniques and I have been trying to replicate methods that I will be able to use for my proposed project. I work in a lab with staff that produce a lot of good data and I feel like I am right at the other end of the scale.

I sit at my computer every day thinking that I can tie this together but find myself drifting towards the internet because I can't face trying to make a sow's ear of a silk purse. I know that I should just submit something but all it will show is that I have managed to learn some techniques - my supervisor advised trying to make more of a story of it, but I just keep drawing a blank. I can't even be certain that some of the techniques are OK as one of the other investigators in our department ripped into my work after I gave a talk (however it is well known that he doesn't like my supervisor - doesn't bode well as I am supposed to be collaborating with him)

I am behind on my deadline and I will have to avoid my supervisor when I return to the office next week. She has been really supportive of me but I know that everyone has their limit!

It wasn't supposed to be like this! I was reasonably senior in my post before and I was successful. I really wanted to do this PhD but I feel that I am floundering. I hate feeling like a failure and I will be absolutely honest that it is something that I am not used to. I am really scared about next year. My confidence was fine at the start of the course but it has now disappeared.

I know that I need to pull my socks up but I am so scared that I am going to flunk this :-(

I know how you feel. I have just completed my first year report and I had the "discussion" of it with my supervisor and internal assessor.

I was asked questions that I didn't know the answer to and actually said "I don't know". It generally went quite badly and I'm having to rewrite some of it!

What worries me is that if I'm struggling with the end of first year report, god help me in a PhD viva!

I do sometimes wonder if each day I'm not just building my own gallows :-(

I did have a good day today and felt determined to get something done. However, I spoke to my supervisor in the corridor at the end of the day and felt pretty low again. He says that I should trust him more, but I doubt whether he really knows what I should be doing.

It just seems to be the case that you have to just get on with things, but the thought of wasting three years of my life to end up with an MPhil or less is not a good feeling!

Daisyduke I know exactly what you and Alice mean.  Although I wasn't in a senior post prior to starting my PhD, I graduated the top of my class and I thought I was pretty smart. Two years into the PhD and I felt like a complete dunce.  Another eight years later (I'm a part-timer), I am now a senior lecturer although I still haven't finished (I'm in the process of re-submit) and I have come to the conclusion that I have no talent for the subject whatsoever. I have learnt a couple of things during this time though.  Firstly, you will get far more criticism than praise because your supervisors will be looking at how you can improve what you write rather than tell you what is already good.  The most praise I received was 'This chapter is completed' , well whooopeee. I can see why they do it but it makes you feel like a loser.  My supervisor is pretty harsh most of the time - he told me last week my writing is facile. The second thing I learnt was that many academics suffer from enlarged ego syndrome! ;-)  I was at a research seminar a few years ago, and one fairly junior member of staff who thought he was the cat's pyjamas tore into a more senior member of staff. It nearly ended in blows and resulted in a really flaming email war that all the staff got copied into by mistake.  The junior member of staff is also one of my supervisors :-( He doesn't like me much so I don't have anything to do with him. Remember that your supervisors have been researching for a long time and experience makes a huge difference.

Don't give up.  Determination can make up for lack of expertise because you'll get there in the end. I'll freely admit I am not brilliant in the subject I chose for my PhD, but I am good enough and you will be too.  Stick with it. It is miserable at times but don't ever imagine that you're the only person who struggles - most of us have and still do.  Keep coming back here and you'll get plenty of advice. Good luck (up)

hi, im newbe to the forum 2 and i feel so so so lost in my PhD... i am at the stage of data analysis and collection but i really dont know what to do and who to ask.. my supa doesnt help, they only want outcomes... but how do i get to those outcomes??? i come to uni everyday (except sat,, my off day).. all i do is stare at the papers then wounder around surfing the net :-( i feel like screaming but it wouldnt help... i am soooooooooooooooo scared that i am going to flunk tooo i really dont know what to do :(