Hi all,
Have been mainly lurking for some time. So I am into the third year of my PhD (Australia) and believe I am progressing well (Meteorology), I have a paper published already and a second probably to be submitted in a week and for the first time since I started feel on top of the situation and somewhat confident that I am going to finish this thing. Unfortunately, while the PhD is finally on the way up, the marriage is spiralling into the depths of despair and taking me with it. Its a long and complex story, but basically a girl I went to university with has been my partner for nearly 6 years, I proposed to her after 3 and we got married in Sept 2009. Where it got complicated is about 6 months after I proposed she got a job in another state (geologist), over 3000 km away, and I try to visit for 1-2 weeks a month to our house where she lives (cannot do more due to scholarship requirements). I sensed her changing at the time and offered her the oppourtunity to step away from the marriage without loosing face but i believe her indecisive nature counted against this. Anyway, fast track to now and things are just falling apart, she is completely cold to me, I have a sneaking suspicion that there is someone else on the scene and she isn't making any effort towards communication or anything. Now, why post this here? I am wondering if anyone has undergone a seperation or divorce during their PhD and their experiences with this. I personally didn't want it to come to this (ive tried to save things by talking to her, offering the option of a marriage counsellor) but it seems to be the way it is going and I want to be sure this isn't going to hurt my PhD (which is going well enough I have already been offered a part time employment for three months based on my work). I should note that I would prefer to deal with it after the PhD is finished, but it has been distracting me from work and keeping me awake at night plus making me feel depressed.

Thanks
J

I broke up with my bf a few months ago, while I was (and still am) in my third year of my studies.
It was the necessary thing for me, as there wasn't any respect towards me. He believed that he was the only one working, because he was a doctor and as a result everyone else had to serve him. I am working FT and I am doing my PhD PT. This means that when I am at home I need time to work on my research. But having to be his maid (exactly, I was his maid!!!) my PhD suffered.
We discussed it over and over and there was no result (his answer was "but I am working every morning and I need to rest in a clean and tidy home and I need to eat a warm fresh meal every day. You are just reading a book and do nothing, even in your work you are just sitting on a chair"). So the best thing was to end the relationship.
Since then, I managed to make very good progress and now I am working towards writing my thesis. For me breaking up was one of the best things in my life.

Just wanted to say my wife and I are getting a divorce. My suspicions were confirmed she was seeing someone else, and no longer wants to be married to me (though the outside source is not the cause of this). And strangely enough, I actually feel better about everything now, despite the overlying sadness of being unwanted. On the positive side, my career has a no compromises direction now, and I am really looking forward to getting back out there to see what the world has to offer. Onwards and upwards is where I am looking now (like going to a conference in Spain in October :), and taking a couple of months off to go travelling in the states in May, June with a friend ).