======= Date Modified 03 54 2009 11:54:51 =======
============= Edited by a Moderator =============
Basically, I am a 2nd year phd student at a top university, part of University of London. I have an interest to affiliate myself with a good university in the US. I have received several invitations from good universities in the US to visit them for any suggested period of time (ideally a year) as a "visiting scholar/researcher".

However, I have contacted these universities prior to informing my supervisor. I did not do it on purpose. I just thought that what is the point in bothering her with this issue if I don't have any invitations. Plus I am on fieldwork now so we communicate via email.

Now that I have a few invitations, I am afraid to tell her. I don't think she will like it. I don't want her to feel that I am betraying her. But I feel that visiting a US uni would be a good thing to add on my cv especially that I don't have any publications to my name yet.


Also, another reason I want to go there is cause my bf is there. And we really want to take it to another serious level and I want to be there near him and see where it goes...

Did I **** up by not telling my supervisor prior to contacting US universities?

How do I tell her that I REALLY want to go?

Could my department not support me and stop me from going to the US?

Should I be honest with my supervisor and tell her the real reason why I want to go? But I don't want to come across as someone who cannot commit...

Help!

In such cases, get it down to two options: (A) Not telling your supervisor and not going (B) telling your supervisor, facing any subsequent music and going/or not.

I think, if you do not tell her, you cannot go.

If you tell her, you may go, if it is in her power to stop you, for whatevr reason (is she funding this?) then she may.

In the first case, you wont go for sure. In the second case, you may. So, the deal is that you tell her.

What do you tell her? the truth. I would be honest with my sup (although I would never do anything without telling her, but that is not an expected rule, it is just my own practice).

I have seen coming clean (not that you have committed a crime, but generally sups feel it is good to be informed of stuff) is a good idea. If you have an okay relationship, tell her the bf issue or tell her it;s personal reasons, and say you did some prelim enquiries as your homework and would now seek to propose to her this idea, and would seek her counsel, adding the personal reasons for wanting to do this.

But it all depends on where you are with your research. Hionestly, suddenly visitng a US university wil not significantly alteryour CV and for sure, it will definitely not make up for anything else being absebnt (i.e. publications). It seems clear to me, that your personal resaons have been crucial behind your wanting to do this. (i.e. why US? Why not Canada? Germany? France?)

Anyway, now that it is done, weigh your two options and decide. My model is an unnecessary model to follow, I share all aspirations with my sup who has till date been nothing but actively, astonishingly and promptly supportive.

Wow, I have to thank you for your detailed response. I actually thank you for that idea of 'preliminary homework', which is exactly what I was doing. I really really did not mean to sneak behind her back or anything. I just thought I'd email the unis and once I have an invitation, I'll take it to my supervisor and hopefully get it approved (or not).

I have always been honest with my supervisor and this is a genuine mistake. I just didn't think much of it until my friend (a phd student) asked me if I'd had informed her. So I endeavored to email her about it but she never responded.

I am paying for my PhD you know... This is the UK ;)

As for going to be with my bf, well I guess I should be honest with her. I can be cause we have that kind of rltp. I just don't want her to be disappointed. On the other hand, she has allowed one of her other students to spend his first year in London and then the rest of his PhD in his home country cause he told her he cannot afford London. He explained to her why... He is now a teaching assistant at a local university here while he writes up his thesis.

Visiting a good US uni would not significantly alter my CV, but it would be better than nothing. I mean I could have easily told her that I cannot afford london and then went to my bf in the US. But I actually want to do something constructive (apart from writing up my thesis) while in the US.

I definitely need to tell her. But I am not sure when. Since I have already emailed her and she ignored my email, I am worried to email again. I prefer to tell her everything face to face because remote contact can sometimes add more damage than needed...Maybe next month when I visit london. Is that okay?

I agree with Phdbug, you have to tell her, or you can't go. You'll most probably need your supervisor to sign something anyway (if not providing a full reference).

There is nothing wrong with pre-planning - I did this for a stint abroad, and sorted everything out, and then told my supervisor I had an opportunity available at X university, and it was okayed on the basis that I was there for the purpose of my PhD research. Say something along the line of 'I've been making preliminary enquiries'.

You need to answer the question: why do you need to go there and how will it benefit your research? And ensure it's not just for the purpose of having a glamourous US university name on your CV.The fact you mention you're at a 'top university' in your post makes me think you're a little brand-happy. Although, if you're planning to work in the US, then having a US uni down on your CV will go a long way, as US uni's are never keen on hiring foreign faculty (unless they are superstar academics).

No one can stop you going but they can make it difficult for you. I would honestly discuss the prospect of it with her. State that you were interested and needed to act fast, thus lack of contact. Sounds as if you have a very proactive and receptive supervisor and despite the initial disappointment, she will be happy for you. If really worried, play the "personal reasons" card.

You are forgetting one thing - it is also an opportunity for her. If you remain in contact in relation to work, is it not an opportunity for her to forge new links? Are you intending to finishing your PhD outside of her supervision? Are you leaving her entirely?

This is a great opportunity and one I would reckon you would be mad to pass up on! You will develop professionally and lets face it, if himself is over there, you'll be happier on a personal level. You have to discuss it and run the risk of pi$$ing her off, but I wouldn't think so. Try to keep her onside as she sounds like a good supervisor

But you have pi$$ed me off ... going thro' forty shades of green with envy :p

Congrats and enjoy!

======= Date Modified 03 Jul 2009 12:19:27 =======
Missspacey, Hi :)

I remember you cause you had answered one of my previous queries, so thanks again!

I mean I am not that into brands. Allow me to explain. I am at a uni renowned for its history departments and its scholars and this renown is the result of hard work, publications, state of the art research and expertise in the field of history. If I were to leave my department to visit temporarily another institution, it should be equal or better in these criteria in order for it to be able to offer me something better than what I already have. Otherwise my supervisor and department will be like: "wtf are yo going to do there that we cannot offer you?". For example, the professor willing to sponsor should be able to offer genuine and expert advice and maybe add something new to my thinking that my supervisor hasn't. However, I am definitely not a brand kind of person. I am more for the quality. I know some specialist schools that do not rank high due to their small size but in certain fields they are top of the tops.

So I definitely do have more reasons to go there other than just wanting a good US uni on my CV.

Yes, well I was really not too interested in the US. Now, that my bf may be there, I would need to make certain compromises. It's not that I don't like the US, I do but I prefer the UK. I am more of a London kind of girl. But, the heart wants what the heart wants ;)

Thanks missspacey xoxox

Bonzo, hi :) I have to tell you that your response made me smile hehe!

I actually emailed her last night. The reason being that I was feeling bad that I emailed her about the US prior and another academic in my same uni whom she knows. She didn't reply but he did and it seems he thought I want to leave my university. I also did not want her finding out through someone else or one of the professors in the US emailing her about it.

So I felt that I need to act ASAP and explain to her HONESTLY why I am so eager to go to the US. I wanted her to know that I intend to remain at my uni, that I want to graduate from it, that it brings me pride and so does she. Then I moved on to explain my position with my boyfriend. I explained that since my 4th and final phd year needs to be spent in London, maybe she could support me by allowing me to go this year (3rd) to the US. I hope she takes it well and does not think that I am not committed enough, which on the contrary I am.

I like the way you see things. I hope she sees it as an opportunity to forge links. Actually, in my first year, I was one of the reasons she forged a good link with another professor at a London university and they conducted seminars together through out that year.

Answering your question, of course I am not leaving her entirely and I need her supervision. She is awesome. As a person, a teacher and a historian. She knows her shit and she knows how to get it across. Plus, she's easygoing with me on deadlines taken that I am so late sometimes.

So you say it is a great opportunity, but why? I mean is it THAT good that I get to go as a visiting student to a US uni? I am not familiar with these things. I know it's important to attend conferences and have publications and do a POSTDOC, but I have no idea about being a visiting researcher/scholar in the US.

Why are you going through all those shades of green with envy? lol I mean is your girlfriend in another country? If so, why don't you attempt what I am doing.

Finally, thanks a lot ;)

PhD_girl - just be ready for maybe an initial bollocking but I think you have summed it up great there. Its a great opportunity and that both of ye will benefit from it (and can anyone really stand in the way of romance 8-). You will return and will be a better researcher for it. It might be a bit stressful keeping in touch, but thats what email, skype (and Yugma) are for. Decide though with her what exactly she wants from you on your return i.e. a paper or two.

As for meself, I'm afraid I suffer from acute Buckett!titus when it comes to the fairer species (I'd explain but would probably get thrown off the forum ha ha). No, finishing off the PhD as finally got some interest in the idea, which coincidentally, might extend to your actual situation ... looking at multi-site collaboration between SME's, which could be used in academia as well. Too much stuff here to be heading now, although am gonna head off as soon as finished (myself and a few friends are getting a T-34 and tanking across Asia).

Without getting too Dawson's Creek on it, it is better to regret what you have done than to regret what you haven't - kapish? So goto www.usahereI.come and book that ticket!