Ok so this is really hurting my feelings. My whole team is going out together with my supervisors and a new person who started way after me. To make it worse they are full on making plans in front of me (as we work in shared office space). I get along with all of them reasonably well. I'm especially annoyed that the new person is invited rather than me (she is very boring and bland and I don't get how they would find her interesting). I just don't get why wouldn't they invite me as what's one more person in a group of 6. My conclusion is that they all dislike me and have been only fakely polite to me up until now. It doesn't help that the new girl is now feeling superior and is openly gloating. :(
well, do not reach your one sided conclusions. Are you close to any one of these people, you can casually ask without sounding upset or angry, in a very light way, that how come you were not asked to join. I am sure this will be some misunderstanding. and also do not form opinions about new person. If you will think she is bland and boring, then you will unnecessarily distance yourself from a collegue. another thing, is there any diversity issue, like are all of you from same culture or background?? cz diverse teams have more complex dynamics
By making a quick judgment about a new colleague, who you don't even know very well, you are basically doing yourself no favour. There is no point comparing yourself with another person. Who says you are more interesting than anyone? Perhaps you are perceived as being bitchy, fake and two-faced by your colleagues. Even if you really are a nice person. Who knows? Think about yourself at first.
Be open, be friendly, and most importantly don't be so tense about everything, then you will make friends very quickly.
Are you certain you have not been invited. I know that sounds a silly question, but maybe if everyone else seems to be going, then it was an open invitation and you do not need to wait for a formal invitation. You could try just casually asking what time people are meeting and see what reaction you get. I had the same thing happen to me years ago when I worked in a shop. The company had a big event and everyone went except me. Someone had to stay and work, and it seemed that I had been chosen so wasn't invited. However, this was just a little part-time job while I was an undergraduate so I wasn't really bothered about socialising with them anyway.
I had the same thought as pamw. In my dept these things are usually a free for all and nobody thinks about inviting anyone. You just go along if you hear about it. Sometimes someone will think to mass email about drinks, many times they don't. When these things are not really organised by anyone in particular then they tend to be like this.
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