Hiya,

I am currently coming towards the end of my second year of a 4-year EngD programme but I feel that I have given my project eevrything I have to give already and that further progress in this field is beyond the scope of what I can effectively deliver.

I have been feeling this way for some time and have tried various methods to try to alleviate these feelings - taking short breaks during my working day, setting myself small achievable goals and trying to leave certain avenues where progress is slow for bit and return to other areas, however none of this has worked. I have begun to feel more and more adrift from my research and have begun feeling depressed and having anxiety attacks (which I am already trying to deal with via my GP). I feel like its my fault and this is happening because I am not working hard enough and as a consequence feel guilty when I take time off with my fiance and son and have found myself neglecting them just to sit in front of a computer paralysed and unable to progress or write anything or make plans.

In all this my major concern is that my family are therefore suffering which makes me feel worse and I feel like I've entered a vicious circle of action and reaction which can only be ended if I quit. I also feel i am wasting both my supervisors time as well as the money of both the research council and my industrial sponsor and think the sooner I can end that then the better for all involved.

Having come to this conclusion my main question really is what is the process here for doing this. I plan to speak to my supervisor in the next couple of days and explain the above and looking at my contract think I have to then put it in writing and work out 90 days notice. Does anyone have any experience of this kind of thing - is it likely I'll be held to this 90 days and if I do will I still get paid during this time? (as it seems wrong if I do as all I'll be doing is winding a few things down but if not I don't know how I will support my family).

Any advice welcome. Thanks

Please be kind to yourself and try not to be so hard on yourself. You've given things a fair go and things haven't worked as intended. You are showing great consideration for all involved and although I can't advise of the processes involved, I would like to think your supervisor could advise.

Just wanted to wish you well and seriously don't be so hard on yourself. You've shown great courage by sticking it out for so long and it also takes courage to say 'this isn't for me' and to know when to walk away.

Chin up!

If you have a contract with rules in it then that makes a difference. You need to talk to your supervisor about what exactly will happen. I would have thought working a 90 day notice period if you are quitting is silly.

I left a PhD in 1996. It was an instant leave. My funding immediately stopped and that was that. A clean break. A painful break, but a clean break.

Good luck.

first of all. best of luck no matter what you do. It is an extremely hard to decision to make. I know only to well as I dropped out of a PHD in engineering.

Sounds like you have given this some thought and are making the best decision for you and your family. 90 days does sound like a lot. there is no way in hell you should be expected to work without pay for 90 days and I'm sure that wont happen, if anything that would probably be breaking the law on your employer's part.

dont expect your supervisors to be happy about you leaving as it will throw a spanner in the works but there is no reason why they cant be professional about it. My supervisor basically threw a tantrum he when he was informed that i wouldnt be continuing with my PhD but he is an assh%le!!!

Have you any ideas for your next move? Now is the time to get your CV in order and apply for jobs. You can put a positive spin on your PhD experience and demonstrate the skills and knowledge you have to prospective employers. This is not the end of the world!!!

Thanks for all the support.

I have to admit I am petrified of what my supervisors reaction will be - my industrial sponsor had another student from the same uni leave after 2 years just a year ago (although under total different circumstances - her husband got a dream job and they had to relocate internationally) and although she seemed to think 'its just one of those things' my supervisor at uni has ranted and raved about it several times (and about how badly he feels it reflects on the university etc) despite the fact she wasn't his student and wasn't even based in the same department!

I have a meeting scheduled with him for tomorrow at which we were meant to be planning for a steering group meeting but as there's not much point selecting  goals and aims for the next 3-6 months if I'm leaving I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and speak to him then (GULP).

On a more positive note, I am in the process of looking through recruitment websites and putting together my CV at the moment and although I have lots to say about what skills I have acquired, I was wondering how to phase the whole "after some time it became apparent that I was not suited to this position" part of why I'm now leaving.

Any suggestions warmly received.

You could say that undertaking a PhD was an opportunity for you to strech and test your academic abilities and fullfill your ambition of undertaking a challenging and exciting career. Your time spent on your PhD has been a great opportunity to explore your research interests and develop skills in the context of a world class research environment. Afer careful reflection you have decided that that the field of study you were involved in was not something you wanted to pursue on a long time basis and you feel that your skills and talents would be better applied in another career. You can then proceed to digress about the skills and knowledge you have aquired and your your enthusuam for a new challenge. This should really be enough for any prospective employer

hope this helps. Just drop me a mail if you need any more advice

RJB

======= Date Modified 16 Jun 2009 16:19:23 =======
I also dropped out of an EngD (in engineering) - good luck and do what is right for you - feel free to pm. Out of interest, where are you based?

I went to see my supervisor yesterday (absolutely bricking it!) and actually he was really lovely and concerned about it and said he felt he hadn't been providing enough support and guidance etc recently either and that I should now take a week off during which he will speak to my industrial supervisor, I will see a counsellor and hopefully we can all work something out together. I'm still a little unsure if this will work out (and whether in fact it is really what I want) but figure I ought to at least give it 4-6 weeks trial as long as it doesn't make me feel any worse. Speaking about it to him and my family and others on here has really helped so far so I'm keeping my fingers crossed it'll work out.


So thanks for all your advice and lets see how things go!

hi there gemnjam..
if it will be of any help, here is a confession: I have been in that exact situation for the past two years. (With all the extensions I'm in my some 5th year!!!). BUT- you have to deal with it and hang in there! Do not get carried away with feelings of guilt. I tell myself that this is what a majority go through (at least at some point in their phd) and that the ones that actually do get their phd's are a) self-centred, huge egos, that have never experienced a drop of insecurity/guilt etc. or b) the ones who have been through this self-torture and dealt with it!
hang in there and let me know what happens.
p.s. congratulate yourself for being such a sensitive person as well- the world of full of d. heads and know-hows
elfsu