I got accepted for a PhD in UK. We are a family of 4 with two young boys. Can anyone summarize their experience doing a Phd in the UK, when they have/had a family with 2 young children..affordability, schooling, balncing work-life, etc., etc., thanks a lot!

Prepare to be broke!

Yes, I was just wondering how it was going to work as an idea financially - with two children.

How cynical golfpro. I have children and it is quite possible. It requires dedication, organisation, an unselfish disposition, mature supervisors and supportive partner.

I don't know about cynical...I would have thought practical. I'm just wondering how 2 kids plus a partner (that isn't working?) and another adult divides into a student bursary in today's UK. I would have thought along with everything else (on your list), it involved some degree of turning water into wine.

Tut tut Jouri, Can I ask if you speak from experience when you say that it will be no fun for anyone involved, i.e. do you have children who are suffering because of your PhD? If so perhaps you need to readjust your priorities.

Personally, I am in my final year, I have two very small children and a third on the way. My children get to spend far more time with me now than when I was pursuing my previous professional consultancy career (which incidentally paid more than 4 times my stipend). Now I flex myself around them and not the other way round. We have a far better work life balance than before, and everyone is much happier as a result. Financially it is tight, but we just had to recalibrate our expectations. In fact life is pretty damn good

My guess is, you are lying to yourself if you say that life is pretty damn well good - perhaps the only way to cope.

I don't speak from personal experience but the things I've heard from fellow PhD students with children led me to believe that it is no fun for anyone involved, including the children who may not see their parent as often as they wish. Although there might be exceptions, who with a clear mind would argue that the PhD challenge plus the children challenge combined make life any easier?

Or, as in your case, AcademicMan, that life with four times less money but additional children costs is more fun?

Oh dear Jouri, you don't need to guess, I can tell you for a fact - that compared to up to 2hrs travelling a day either end of an 8+hr day and putting my toddlers to bed in their clothes because they have fallen asleep in the car on the way back from the child minders - I would indeed say, with a very clear mind, this is a far better life for them. They are with me after school / nursery every day until they go to bed (so that is 25hrs a week of my time they have gained straight away). And I work until late into the evenings to compensate. I am in charge of my own schedule and it works very well for us indeed. I am sorry that your friends who you conducted your straw poll with are not as happy, but that is not necessary the case for everyone. Pheonix, don't let Jouri put you off, it can work and very successfully.

Well said AcademicMum!

Hell yes - far more fun! The time with my children is priceless, I will never get these years back and now I have experienced it all first hand and not through the eyes of a childminder. You never know Jouri, one day you may be lucky enough to have a bit more in your life than the PhD too

I had my daughter at the end of my second year. I took 2 years out, and now I'm in my final year bur likely to tak a fourth term, unpaid. We manage because as well as my grant (which is eaten up with part-time childcare costs) my husband is quite well-paid (but was a lot well paid when this all started).

I do find it difficult but it certainly is alot more flexible than working full-time. I have 3 days/week childcare. I have just moved and switched from nursery to childminder which is a lot cheaper and my daughter is much happier there. Apart from that I work most Saturdays - which provides some good one-on-one time for my daughter and her father

And I generally work 2-3 of the nights that I don't work during the day. Personally, I have found that something has to give, and rather than take away time with my daughter, I do struggle a bit to make up the time.

However, my husband also brings home a ton of work and he's not an academic. You just have to be very organised and disciplined with your time. I do roll my eyes, frankly, when I read post about procrastinating and dawdling in stead of working. Of course I used to be just like that but now I really can't afford to waste any time.

Sometimes it's hard to swtich gears between a day of moms and toddlers to writing up.

I agree that it is better than working full-time, but probably not as easy as working part-time. But if you can work nights and trade off working time with your partner it certainly is doable.

Financially, until this last year, it has been pretty tight. Depends how old your kids are and how much childcare you need. I do know of 2 couples who had 2 children while both grad students and survived with their marraiges intact to tell the tell. it depends how you define 'fun'. But then 'fun' changes very radically for all new parents

Crikey - what terrible typing 'a lot less well-paid' etc