Hello all,

I'm new to the whole PhD business (gave up office job to pursue my dream). Started January this year.

But the whole thing seems to be going off to such a slow start.
One week I was away on holiday and in the remaining time I have kept getting ill. Sure I've done some work, but not enough I reckon.
I also feel like I'm not good enough, I'm way out of my comfort zone.

I lucked out, I think and got a great supervisor, but somehow I find myself getting so depressed that I haven't acheived f*** all. Told him some worries, but not to the extent I feel them as I don't want to let him down.

Problem is, I haven't had too much chance to meet with others in my dept, through being ill, or working from home.
Thoughts about quitting have occurred, but obviously that's not an option. This is my dream after all!

Was wondering if anyone had any words of wisdom, or if anyne else has had problems going from "the real world" back into academia. Is this deflation so common in the first few weeks/months?

Help me out guys! =)

All PhDs start out slow - give it a wee while and you'll have plenty to do

PhDs (unless you have been previously working in the field) take a great deal of getting used to - you have a lot of stuff to learn but once you get started - poss more than 6 months if you've only just come on to the topic - then you'll feel quite at home

I suggest taking the time to get aquainted with those around you - as you are going to need them for support over the next few years

Good luck

S

Cheers S

You are definitely right, support should come from my immediate colleagues. I really need to address that.
The subject seems so overwhelming though... I know nothing!

The self-motivation is the biggest thing for me. In my previous job, if you were off for 10 days sick in a year, there would be a serious issue (I never was, for that long though!)
Plus, 25 Days paid holiday a year - NO GUILT for not working!
Glorious weekends!..

Thanks again S.
Just need to hear the opinion of people who have been in a PhD position for longer than me...

Hi,
I started in September last year and I am still going (very) slow!! I think it takes a good few months - probably the whole first year at least- to get yourself into a the right mindset.
I came to this PhD after time out of academia and I am finding that after that break from uni, getting back into academic reading and writing is a real uphill struggle!! How did I manage it before?
Anyway, please stick with it.. I can completely sympathise with that horrible feeling of dread in the first few weeks!!

You only started in January! Don't worry about feeling you haven't done anything yet. It takes a while to settle into things, especially if you were working in industry before rather than academia. I have just started my second year and felt I had not done enough in my first year. However it is now that things are starting to come together and I realised that even if I didn't feel I was making great progress, everything I did do is shaping what I am doing now. Getting to know the university, your colleagues, how things work, reading and collecting data can take a long time but it is these foundations which will set you up for the next stage.

Well, I've only been in since October, but had the same sort of feelings before Christmas - I didn't seem to understand any of it, didn't understand the explanations and didn't seem to be getting any better, and had trouble getting motivated. All that lead to thinking that I just couldn't do it.
It's quite a lot better now, I understand some small bits reasonably well (I'm not sure when that happened, but realised it in hindsight) and I have lots of things to work on, which helps - It's hard to be motivated when you don't know what you can possibly do next!
Although it does feel like as soon as I get comfortable with something, I get my feet pulled from underneath me and have to venture back into the big wide world full of lots of other things that I don't understand.
Although, interestingly, one of my colleagues has recently submitted his thesis - he says that he doesn't understand other people's work either, and can't understand how it took him three years to do.

Wow, you guys really dish out the advice! =)

A massive thanks to all of you, who have replied so far.
It really helps a total newbie like me put things into perspective.

The problem, I feel, is that thinking for an occupation is such a double-edged sword. A blade of joy and a blade of despair.
The blade of despair is so massively over-proportioned! At least in my case.

Nice to hear there are other people coming from a gap in academic studies.

Good luck to us all!

Personally I think the psychological hurdles you need for this are huge and I'm not just talking workwise - where was the health warning when I signed up for this?? ;)
The best bit of advice I have is something I took a loooong time to get my head around, and that is to see this PhD as an extremely fluid entity. I was over-worried with the fact I had no defined area, didn't know where I was going, no real 'deadlines, no-one telling me what to do, no 'set question' to answer and so on and I didn't understand that you just have to give up guessing where you'll end up and let it take you! Once I got my head around that then the anguish started to go... oh, and knowing that everyone else here is in the same boat is VERY comforting (even if you wouldn't wish it on anyone else!)

iHippo, I am hearing you loud and clear! The way you're feeling is absolutely normal. I started in October and am feeling everything you're saying. I'm trying to treat the PhD more organically now (this is only a recent decision in the past week or so), so instead of looking at the PhD as a whole (which is so overwhelming and dispiriting), I'm just taking it day by day. I reckon that's the only way to cope. Just take it look at it as a process that evolves in slow, small incremental steps. I can assure you, you're not alone in feeling like this.

don't worry- feeling like a fraud is common for the first year. Getting paid to study & read stuff all day..it's a bit odd initially. And most PhDs don't have a lot of output til final year...speaking as someone entering their last year!! Good luck. And I seriously recommend taking up an enjoyable & relaxing hobby or doing more of your current one- you're going to need it:)