Hi all there are some topics on this but they are quite out of date so I'm starting a new thread.
I'm going to be 30 in a few months and me and my partner (together 6 years) have been thinking about starting a family soon....he's in his 40s. I'm just about to enter the second year of my funded full time phd and thinking when would be the best time to start trying to get pregnant? Has anyone got experience of this and when did they begin trying? I've thought next academic year would be the best time to try and when the baby comes take one year off for maternity then go back part time to finish it.....do people actually finish their phds with a small baby? I'd just like to hear from others who have done their phd and had a baby and what their experiences were like. Thanks!!

Hi,
not completely in the same boat here, but I did my master studies with a 5 month old baby. Be prepared to be extremely tired (if you don't get very lucky and get a well sleeping baby) and exhausted at the beginning. You will get used to low sleep levels, but it takes time and lots of coffee/energy drinks ;-). My son is now three and I still don't get more than 4-5 hours sleep in a row. Also be prepared that a baby normally doesn't care if you have to get up early the next morning because you have an important meeting or so. I wrote some exams with 2 hours sleep after a night with an ill infant. Doable but yeah.. wasn't that nice :-)

Depending on the field, you are working in (and country), pregnancy alone can cause you problems. In my science field (cell biology) you are not allowed to do any longer labwork as soon as you are pregnant. So if you work in such a field - think about it before!

Having a child is very rewarding and I wouldn't want to miss my son. But it was definitely not the easiest way for us ;-).

We had a baby one month ago and I'm supposed to finish my PhD in about one year. Fortunately (for me), my wife and her mother do most of the work; however, I have been incredibly tired since and my power of concentration, or to do anything else, has not been the same. The main problems are the hard long nights, since the baby wakes up every two hours not even crying, but screaming! :) Anyway, I feel after a month we are getting used to it and with the favor of mother nature of babies, he should start sleeping better soon.

Finally, I know many amazing female scientists who have finish their PhDs with smalls babies, and found great jobs after, both in academy and industry! Honestly, the only serious problems I know with PhD students having babies is when their supervisors, laboratory, etc, are against PhD students having babies, which I found very sad.

Maybe your 40's years old partner is in a position to help you a lot!

It depends on your list of priorities. Is having kids your number 1 priority, or a PhD and an academic career? It is very difficult to combine these aspects, I am afraid.

I had a baby in the second year of my phd. I treated the (funded) phd as I would a paid job; I took six months maternity leave, then went back full time, putting my daughter in nursery. All worked out fine, and I have (almost) submitted, plus have publications, teaching experience etc. Working through sleep deprivation and illness was a bit grim, but you would have to do that in any job. I don't feel that I have had to choose whether to prioritise an academic career or having kids, and I think that having a baby during a phd can actually be seen as a clever career move, as you get the childbearing stage out of the way before you get stuck into a job.

Two caveats: my partner has been immensely supportive, and thinks of looking after our daughter as a joint responsibility. Also, I spent virtually all of my grant on childcare. I would advise you to think seriously about childcare, how much of it you want to use, how much it will cost etc., and have a serious chat with your partner about what having a baby will mean for your career, and far how he is willing to support you in having both.

Thanks all of you for your thoughtful comments.

I agree with GibsonGirl that I don't need to chose either being a mum or having an academic career. I worked for three years as a curator between my BA and phd and still do some freelance work in museums, and also try to treat my phd as a job (though it doesn't always work). I believe that I will probably return to a career in that world, rather than be a full time academic, but I am also keeping my options open at this stage.

Regarding childcare, yes that is a serious issue I had not thought about. We live near both of our parents, so there is help around but I'm not sure how much they would be willing to do. I know my partner wants to do a lot of childcare himself though (or at least he says so now!) but we do need to have a serious discussion about it too, so he knows how much I will still need to do (i.e. on my phd) once the baby arrives.

GibsonGirl - how much of your phd was done when the baby arrived? Did you make an effort to get lots of work done before giving birth? Did you speak to anyone about this - did the uni support you at all in planning?

What about working on your phd during pregnancy? How easy did you find it to manage? I'm a history student so most of my work involves long hours at the library or sitting at the computer writing.

The other thing to bear in mind is that I am offered a six-month full time maternity pay package with my funding. When talking to friends in other jobs, they say this is quite a good deal. When I think how long it might take me to find a secure job after phd, it does seem like the best time to do it.....

If, for example, we started trying for a baby next summer, with a view to getting pregnant by xmas, the baby would arrive around the time I am meant to submit....(just thinking out loud here :)....

When you think how lots of people compare phds to babies it does sort of sound a bit mad - but I have to admit I am swayed by maternity package - and of course the ticking of my clock!

Will have to have a think. Thanks again all :)

Hi Star, it sounds as if we are in similar fields. I upgraded from Mphil to Phd status shortly before I gave birth, so I had around 25,000 words at that point. I didn't really need any support from my uni, but I made a point of emailing my supervisors once I hit twelve weeks pregnant, let them know when the baby was due, and outlined my plans to take six months leave before returning full time. I also make of point of telling them that we had budgeted for full time childcare - basically I tried to keep it professional, and let them see that having a baby wasn't going to affect my work or my ambitions for an academic career.

Working through pregnancy was pretty tough, and I found that I got very little done during the first trimester. However, you might find that you feel absolutely fine, you won't know until you do it! I would suggest that writing up whilst pregnant is probably not ideal, but if it is the situation that you find yourself in i am sure that you will make it work.

And yes, the maternity package that I received from my funding body was actually way more generous than that received by friends working for law firms etc.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I am 31 and partner of 5 years is 39 so we have been considering when is the best time to start a family. I have completed my first year of a science phd. How did you find out that your grant had the maternity funding? I am not sure about mine and don't want to ask my supervisor. I believe if he thinks this is my plan then he will not be very supportive. As I am lab based, I think the best for me would be to get my lab work nearly done and write up whilst pregnant. It might be worth checking if your partner can take paternity leave. These days often the father can get the time off that the mother usually would.

Hi phdat30
I'm funded through a RCUK and the maternity package was mentioned in their terms and conditions.

Thanks Gibson girl for your clear supportive advice!

I think it could work very well for you. I studied and worked full time in a very demanding job and had two children very close together. With anything a lot will depend on how the particular uni/employer view pregnancy and motherhood! I think children focus the mind. They'll ultimately be more important than the PhD and that can give some much needed perspective when it comes to the pitfalls of becoming a perfectionist, be more pragmatic, brush off critique/overly harsh supervisors and your time management-multitasking becomes second to none! You'll be knackered but you'd be knackered in a job anyway! There's also nothing stopping you doing some PhD work during mat leave. As previous posters childcare will be the issue. You'll struggle to find places that take under 6 months so planat leave accordingly. Childminders are usually more flexible and cheaper than nurseries.