Day 170 in the PhD house and Graham is beginning to feel a bit queasy. "Graham can you come to the diary room?" for a supervision meeting with your once friend, now arch-nemisis, and the boy wonder.

"Why do you exist you snivelling wretch?" asked my arch-co-supervisor-nemesis
"I don't have sufficient evidence to speak" I whimpered. I'm trapped inside an evidence-based research catch-22 situation, if I say "I did this", the response is "why? why? you damn nemotode", if I say "I didn't do this, the response is "why? you disgust me". I'm paraphrasing of course, this is merely my interpretation of how supervision meetings go, but any PhD student will recognise this situation and empathise with me here.

“I think this”, “I think I think this”, “I think I have enough evidence to suggest I think I think this”, “I haven’t seen any large sample, randomised controlled studies to suggest contrary to my preliminary belief that I think I thought this”, “ok ok my thoughts are irrelevant, despite reading 110 journal articles in five days, compared to your 20 years of clinical experience, please don’t hurt me, please, not the pointy meta-analysis! arrgghhh!”

As I said, I’m paraphrasing.

And from one PhD phenomena to the next, sitting at a laptop at 9:10 with a bottle of wine venting spleen (ouch) and thinking “there are others out there, I know there are other out there”. Solidarity brothers! (and sisters!) .. yeah solidarity Reg.

Anyone who has been on the sharp side of DE’s mind will know exactly what it’s like to physically feel all ones confidence and strength seep out of their body and ooze out of the room under the door, leaving silence. DE in silence watching you, like a dementor, silence, feeding of off the positive energy in the room. And if you know him, you will know that he supervised my MSc, we broke the ice, we got on once, chums even, I respect him. Oh but that was before PhD supervision, DE is a creature from before time, a creature that would make Gandalf wet himself. He’s been over to the dark side, bought souvenirs and a small timeshare and come back .. with no expression.

And poor SG, sitting there, UN Peace Observer to the inhuman act of viva supervision, thinking “I’m actually the principal supervisor here, I should be running this meeting”.

Aldous Huxley, he spent a night on Mescaline and wrote Doors of Perception (from which came a rather good band fronted by Morrison), Franz Kafka .. well he was just a bit odd and wrote the excellent metamorphosis. How many PhD survivors have written a fictional book? How many Dostoevsky’s, Blake’s and Orwell’s would there be if 'the brink' to which PhD students are pushed up against wasn’t patrolled by pillow bearing Spanish Inquisition??! Aye? Aye? Tell me that. "Oh yeah man I've seen it", I've been there, don't ask me .. etc etc said the Vietnamese dolphin as he found the depth charge.

Day 170 and Graham is having his nappy changed and being put back to bed.

pmsl oh I love it! I feel your pain! (and cruelly its very amusing to read ;-) )

======= Date Modified 03 Feb 2009 22:37:16 =======



You're a great writer. Hillarious. :) My post supervision trips to the bathroom to throw up are much less poetic :( argh. post supervision...



Urgh - I feel like my thesis is a work of historical fiction sometimes. sigh.

Graham said:
Anyone who has been on the sharp side of DE’s mind will know exactly what it’s like to physically feel all ones confidence and strength seep out of their body and ooze out of the room under the door, leaving silence. DE in silence watching you, like a dementor, silence, feeding of off the positive energy in the room.

Your supervisor is a Death Eater?!!! :p

"DE is a creature from before time, a creature that would make Gandalf wet himself. He’s been over to the dark side, bought souvenirs and a small timeshare and come back .. with no expression.

And poor SG, sitting there, UN Peace Observer to the inhuman act of viva supervision, thinking “I’m actually the principal supervisor here, I should be running this meeting”. "

Ha ha! I would be convinced that we have the same co-supervisor if the initials weren't wrong! Yesterday, I heard of the devastation he caused to another student to whom he is the third panel member. We shared alcohol in solidarity while thinking up ever more creative insults that we will, one day, if pushed, hurl towards him. "Dawson's Creek-loving knobjockey" was definitely my favourite. (He once let slip, in a philosophy of history course no less, that his favourite TV programme, possibly of all time, is Dawson's Creek.)

Oh this is magnificent writing! I love this - If I were female, I'd want your babies.

...

I'll get my coat... :$

lol! this is excellent! you're a great writer. i really enjoyed reading that.

i can TOTALLY relate to the whole, why did you do that, and why didnt you do that. that's what i imagine my viva is going to be like! love the bit about, "uh i think i think this"

looking forward to more!

Teehee! *goes back to modding*