Hi all,
Dealing with repeated funding rejections is tough. For me, it makes me wonder if doing a PhD is "right" for me. I know I want to - but no-one always gets what they want. Maybe I have to just be realistic and submit myself to the fact that doing a PhD is a luxury which I, for one, cannot afford. Of course I find it unfair, and believe that I "deserve" to be funded, but reality is not fair and continued denial of the truth won't make it thus. So I am at the point where I either starve, or kid myself into thinking I can really keep doing a full time PhD while at the same time earning enough money to live and pay the fees.(Not saying other people can't do just that. Only that I can't, and I know it. Probably I wouldn't be able to even keep going part-time while working sufficiently to live of and pay the fees.)

Well, so what next? On precaution, I've maneuvred myself into a position where quitting is not really an option. For one thing, I have a contract to teach next year. But more importantly, my partner is now applying for jobs in/near London so we can live together again (and has just been invited for an interview - yay!). That's great! But it would make quitting now really stupid I am NOT going back to Switzerland now that my partner is coming over to England!

So I guess that leaves me - stubborn, ever the optimist even in face of blaring evidence to the contrary - not quitting. I am putting all my hopes, again, on some funding where I have been rejected but encouraged to apply again later. I am now applying for jobs - after all, fees and bills need to be paid, food needs to be bought - in the hope that I will get funding from next February, and that my PhD will not be completely on hold in the meantime. I am just pretending as if some funding WILL come through eventually. Maybe that will just make quitting worse, later, when no money comes. But maybe I am giving myself the decisive last chance.
So, everyone, wish me and all the other desperate unfunded folk out there luck in the job-hunt or whatever we are doing, and send us - well, me, especially - some clever spirits to guide my hands when writing up the next funding application! Onwards and onwards! And then perhaps, eventually, upwards.

I am really sorry to hear about the current position you're in and i can do nothing but pray it changes for the best.

The lack of funding to commence your PhD does not mean that a PhD is not for you. I believe there are other avenue (though fiding one might be difficult)

You mentioned a teaching position. Is that in a University? I do not know if all Unis in the UK do this but in mine, if you are am employee, and want to study, it is paid for you. You could inquire about this from yours.

Best wishes

it is very hard to keep up trying to get funding if you repeatedly receive rejections. However, just think, assuming you would get funding, do you really want to do a PhD? If yes, keep applying for funding! I didnt get any funding in the first year I applied, took a gap year and then next year I got fully funded PhD scholarship! So, keep trying! meanswhile maybe you can get a job that would increase your opportuities to get funded. For example, a research-asisstant position related to your topic. Maybe the university you will be working eventually will have funding or maube a seniour person with whom you work will write you a brilliant reference letter that will increase your chances for funding. Dont give up too soon:))

Hi Shani, sorry to hear about the funding. I have applyed to the AHRC, but results won't be sent before early september. However, I am not very hopeful. I was rejected last year and actually no one in our department got a scholarship from AHRC in the past three years.
I think that you are right to go ahead and cryogenics is right. You can have your fees paid by the dept. if you are member of staff, although it's not guaranteed. I din't get funding from mine when I was staff and doing my Masters. I have got fees paid from dept. now, but only for next year, so no much better position.

Shani, you'll get there, sooner or later, Dr Shani! Forge ahead! We are all here for you.

I would say it would help to stand back, take stock and ask:

1) Why do you want to do a PhD?

As you may have seen from my position, although fully funded with a stipend, my PhD hasnt gotten me anything close to appropriate employment. I think if I had bankrupted myself to get to this position, I would probably have had a breakdown. I would say, unless its a burning desire that you cannot live without, think twice. It sometimes takes more bravery to let go than just carry on stubbornly.

2) Is there anything else I can do that will get me to my desired goal?

If you like to teach, there are ways to do that that get you funded. If you want to do research, RA jobs (where you can do PhD work on the side are available. The most straighforward route is often the hardest (Funded full time PhD in this case), but going about it slightly differently can pay off.

Have you heard of PhD by publication? Once you've worked in a uni for at least three years regardless of the position, you qualify for a PhD by publication, which would also get you there? I'm just writing further to badhaircut's reply.

hi all, and thanks for thinking with me and all your suggestions!

cryogenics, well i'm going to be a GTA. i don't think they will let me off the fees for that! i checked it out in the uni's guidelines and couldn't find anything. but if they waived the fees for all GTAs they wouldn't have any paying students anymore...

verdy, well, problem is, i'm about to finish my first year, which i financed by using up all my savings. i don't know if taking a "gap year" in the middle of the PhD is viable. but in a way, i guess that's what i am doing - as i am applying for/taking on jobs now. i want to stay immatriculated, though, and keep going on my project as much as i can.

also, no, i don't really want to do just any PhD as long as it's funded. i want to do THIS PhD with this project, this supervisor, at this uni. it's perfect for me and i was sooo excited when i was accepted. that's why i was and still am willing to take the risk of starting/continuing unfunded, hoping for future funding.

corinne, i'm keeping my fingers crossed for your funding! only letting you know in september is madness. how do they think you should plan? considering the high luck factor, having been rejected last year doesn't make the least difference, i should think. good luck!

BHC, good to hear from you again, how are you doing? any luck on the job front?

those are very good suggestions you make. thanks for that! yes, i really do want to do this PhD. the point is to get into research and pursue an academic career in this field. i know that a PhD won't guarantee success, but it can't be done without.
"it sometimes takes more bravery to let go than to just carry on stubbornly". so true.
well, letting go at the moment would mean letting go of my whole life plan/dream. academia - with all it's dark sides, which i am well aware of - is where i see myself living. any other job, i would be working for money, not for myself. i know that this is the reality for most people on the world. i am just not quite prepared to let go of the possibility of getting where i want to be quite yet.

your second point - alternative routes. yes, that is why i am now applying for (part-time) RA positions in addition to the teaching that I will be doing. i still hope that some funding will come through eventually, though. and that my PhD project, which is well on it's way, won't be completely neglected. it would be kind of a shame for all the work i've already put into it.
so, if things work out well, i will be teaching an RA-ing for the next half year/year and then some funding will have come through and i will go back to being a full time PhD student. both the teaching and the RA-ing should be no disadvantage if i finally do get that PhD and look for a job.

thanks for your support, vagrant_fish. Dr. Shani, i like the sound of that

at my uni PhD by publication is unfortunately not (yet) possible. but i'll get there some other way!

Your choice sounds rational,shani.