Hi all,

I’m currently coming to the end of my second year in a science PhD, and am really struggling with motivation to do anything. In the past 2 years, I’ve more and more come to realise that a career in research/academia is not for me - I don’t want that kind of lifestyle, and I find the planning and carrying out research very stressful. For quite a few weeks now, I’ve really been having a hard time getting started each day, I dread going in to the lab/office each day and even ‘working from home’ I can’t seem to get anything done. Today, for example, I’ve done nothing AT ALL related to my PhD! Some days I find it hard even to get out of bed, get dressed etc…I feel like I know nothing, and that a lot of the work I’ve already is badly designed (and it doesn’t show anything interesting…).

Saying all this, I do want to finish my PhD. I feel I’ve come too far now to think about quitting, and also want to prove to myself that I can do it. But as I don’t want to stay in research, I want to finish it as quickly as possible. I’ve got funding for 3 – 3.5 years (the extra 6 months if needed, it’s almost always given to people), and have 2 on-going experiments which should give me enough data for 3 chapters, plus a smaller experiment which I will include but is not enough for a full chapter.
My experiments were due to be finished in Feb 2013, but my supervisor is now suggesting additional work which will not give me data until August 2013! This might be ok – it wouldn’t require work in between Feb and August so I could write most of my chapters up before then anyway. I’m not sure though if what I’m doing will be enough in total for a PhD – I THINK I’ll get 3 chapters out of my current work, but I’ve tried several times asking my supervisor for an opinion on whether I need to set up another experiment, and he seems very reluctant to give me a straight answer. My worry is that if I don’t start anything else, he’ll suddenly decide next year that I need more data, and if that’s the case I would rather start the work now than drag things out! I think if I had a plan to stick to, if I knew exactly what I had to do to finish, then I would find it much easier to get going.

Anyway, thanks if you read my rambling, I’m not even sure what the point of this post is except that I’m just feeling frustrated, useless and guilty and needed somewhere to vent. Anyone else felt the same at any point, and any tips on how to get through the next year/possibly longer?! The thought of spending another year feeling this way just seems impossible to deal with at the moment.

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Hi there

I'm not sure about my future as an academic either, but at the moment i just wanna finish my work and submit whatever I have ! I'm coming to the end of my second year soon and frankly speaking, I have only done 3 chapters' work, with at least 4 more to be completed.

I did struggle with motivation for the past 10 months or so; the main problem was that I had limited knowledge on what I'm doing right now. Let's just say my current area was my worst subject during my degree days ! I had to read a lot and write a lot to understand what was required in my work. Not only that, I was struggling with childcare...it wasn't easy trying to juggle studies with a baby.

Now that the baby is much bigger and I managed to get reliable childcare, I am able to be more focused on my work. But the days before that...phew...I practically procrastinated everyday. I left my work for one whole month because I couldn't understand it and also because I was partly sick of it ! I surfed the net, went shopping,blogged about my problem, had long chats with friends, cooked, cleaned the toilet etc,travelled...I did everything but study. I don't know what made me change my attitude...perhaps it's the realisation that I have only one more year of funding left that forced me to do something for my own sake. I also realised that I had to make a better future for the little bub...yeah, i guess that was the main motivation for me.

Maybe you need to take a break for a while so that you can come back with a refreshed view of your work ?

Hi Pixiedust,

hope you are feeling better. The fact that you have trouble getting out of bed and getting ready is alarming, together with feeling frustrated/ useless/ guilty. I suggest you should take some time off and talk to someone.

Your health is the most important thing. You shouldn't worry too much about your PhD, you still have plenty of time and at the end everything falls in place :)

Hi Pixiedust,

Reading your post felt like I was reading my own thoughts! It's so reassuring to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I'm coming to the end of my second year and wondering how I am going to cope with the next 12-18 months without going crazy. I completely empathise with the feelings of uselessness and guilt, and today I have been 'working at home' i.e. doing nothing. The last two years has completely put me off an academic career, but I've also decided that I've come too far to quit now, so I'm just going to try to do the minimum amount necessary to pass, and try to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

To make it a bit more bearable (and to help me get up in the morning), I've planned fun things to do every few weeks, even if it's just meeting a friend outside university for a day, to give myself other things to focus on, and to break down the time so that a year doesn't seem so long. And I try really hard to leave my PhD behind in the evenings and at weekends, so that it doesn't take over my life (Although I have to admit that sometimes this is almost impossible!). Taking a bit of time away from the work can really help too.

I'd try again with speaking to your supervisor, or maybe you could try another academic/post doc for a second opinion on what you've got so far?

Good luck with it all, I'm sure we'll both make it in the end!