Little problem, the nightmare never ends. All these months I thought, okay, once the last sentence is put down on paper, a feeling of relief and happiness will suddenly kick in. Unfortunately, it didn't happen. Rather, a feeling of depression kicked in and the shocking thought of "is this good enough, up to standards or will it be rejected?". It feels worse than in the beginning because in the beginning there was hope. Now it's more a scary feeling of constantly asking myself "will I get away with this crap piece of work?". Months of uncertainty to come.

jouri, does that mean you have submitted???

well done!!!!!! congratulations! why do you have to wait months... is your viva so far away?

No,no. Unfortunately I haven't submitted yet. All I did was completing the thesis. Writing the final sentence, so to speak. But I think it's absolute rubbish. Very depressing.

ah, i'm sure it isn't. you know, maybe it isn't brilliant, maybe in fact it isn't even exceptionally good... but if it were rubbish, i'm sure someone would have let you know before now!

i can understand the depressive feeling though. cause, actually, from writing the last sentence to submitting, there is probably still quite a lot of work to do. little bits of correcting imprecisions, odd holes to be stuffed, references to be fixed, tables to be titled... it never stops. even though you're "finished". but hey, you got this far. you're going to get that last hurdle behind you too! the rest is just "work". like any work... boring, unimaginative, uncreative... the little technical stuff... but isn't that a nice change once in a while!

Thanks Shani. You're right. It's still a long road to go. I anticipate a minimum of two to three months until submission. Then another two to three months until viva. Maybe the happiness will kick in once it's really over. It ain't over till it's over is what they say.

Why would you think the relief would come after writing the last word?

You'll only find that once you walk out the Viva with a pass.

I'm really not looking forward to the period between submitting and the viva, which is approaching fast.

Hi Missspacey, I don't know why I expected relief. That was wrong. But what I certainly didn't expect was this increasing feeling of pressure, uncertainty and depression. After the bulk of the work is done, it is somehow weird to feel again like or even worse than in the first year. There will be feedback, of course, but who likes the fact that some examiners decide over your life or death. I'm exaggerating but it's a bit like living on death row for the next few months and then walking down the green mile to the examination venue.

I guess the major reason why I'm so surprised is the following. In the last few months of writing up, there is naturally progress and the student feels increasingly in control of the thesis and writing up process. But then, once it's all done, the feeling of control suddenly evaporates. This is the shock for me, really.

ah jouri, it seems to me that you've pretty much self-analysed your situation! that probably sums it all up.

how about taking a positive slant on the loss of control? no control also means no responsibility. from now on, you can think: all the important work is done, you've done your best, you've created your PhD. now it is out of your hands, you can sit back and relax and just do a 9-5 job of making all those little corrections and stuff.
you can't REALLY change your work anymore. so whatever you do now, it doesn't really matter! doesn't that take some of the pressure off your current work?