Hi all,

Apologies for the long post to follow...

I am supposed to submit in October, that is the 4 years of studies mark.
However, I am going through a mental breakdown for personal and phd reasons that are:

-I went through a nasty breakup (my boyfriend of 3 years told me his family HATES me for being an immigrant).
-I found myself homeless and living off friends houses. I changed 4 houses within 2 months. My PhD funding has ended since last October.
-I have no substantial supervisor support. 1 out of my 4 supervisors only responds/acknowledges my drafts.


I realise there is NO way I can submit my phd on time. I am mentally incapable to read a line of a magazine, let alone write the remaining of my phd thesis. Thus, I have requested to suspend my studies but they told me at this stage I cannot suspend or extend and I HAVE to submit.

I have 1 month to go and still have 50% of my thesis left to write but I swear I cannot do a thing and all I do is crying and trying to compose myself. The worst part is that the more I neglect studying the more I forget things and the more difficult it becomes to get back into it and understand my data...Such a vicious circle that I cant keep up with...

Please help me, has anyone ever been through something similar? How did you come out of this? Can someone please advise me what to do? Please!

That is a very difficult set of circumstances.
I cant help you with the boyfriend bit other than to say that you need to find a way of parking this right now because you have more important things to worry about. At least you found out after only a few years. Imagine dedicating your entire life to this guy and realising he was wrong for you.

Forget your supervisors. Right now they are irrelevant and you should not be needing them at all at this stage.

As long as you have a roof, your living situation is not a priority right at this moment either and can be put to one side.

Crying or therapy isnt going to help you either. Its time for you to. gather any energy you have left and fight for your future for the next 28 days. You have plenty of time to cry after that.

The point is to try and mentally block things off temporarily so you can focus on one thing - submitting. Right now you are trying to deal with too many other issues which are simply not important in the next month. Deal with those in October once you have submitted.

Then you need to decide if you can gather enough energy to fight that single battle.
Dont focus on perfection right now. Just focus on writing something which allows you to submit on time. Changes can be made later.
Remember that no matter how hard this month is going to be, it will end in just a few weeks and it will all be over, leaving you time to deal with the other crap going on.

Hi , sorry to hear about your situation.

I think pm 133 advice is really good.

everytime distracting thoughts come into your mind about your life situation or negative thoughts about your phd/finishing, just tell your self ' I ll think about this in X time' and back to the study. You do need to get a bit pumped tho... I find exercise and positive self-talk can help with this.

It's not easy what you have to do, and to be brutally honest, I'm 100% sure I could do it. But you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, by giving it your very best shot.

Is there any way you could appeal the decision not to offer you an extension? Seems like being homeless and having mental health difficulties are good enough reasons. I mean if you just got a month or two.
I would try that (but not spend too much time on it, in case it doesn't work out for you.)

You also said you have until October.. is it beginning or end of October. because 2 months makes it all seem a lot more doable.- especially when you have half of it written.

My supervisor told me one of his former students wrote her entire thesis in about 3 weeks!! don't even know if this is true. but she did pass, albeit with some fairly substantial corrections. I do remember she finished really quickly in the end. I was like, where is she gone.?. poof... so she definitely did do it in a fairly short time, whether it was 3 weeks or not, I don't know. I have also come across a few blogs from people who have written up really quickly that I found motivating and helpful.

come back and let us know how you are getting on
this forum can be supportive at times.

didnt have enough space, so continuing here

Having read your post again, it does seem like you really need to talk to someone, the counselling service in Uni is usually free. I think it would help you if you had someone to talk to and offer you some support through this period, even knowing you have someone to vent all you worries to once a week is something i think you would helpful.

Hi Iamlost86,

Can you go and see a Medical doctor (on or off campus) and request some support through a counselling referral and a general wellbeing check. The doctor may be able to write a letter that helps you appeal your university's opinion that you 'MUST' submit in a month.

They may also be able to help with referrals to places that might provide some support with living arrangements, and they may also prescribe some medication that might assist you manage these difficult feelings you have described (temporarily at least). At the very least, they will check out your stress levels and listen to you in person, and that in itself can be supportive and help with clarifying issues for you.

There may be some scope for an extension for the submission, provided you are not asking for financial support in any way. Many people submit their PhD's over the stated time frame (both full and part timers). Usually the need for meeting an absolute submission date is tied to funding grants. (You would need to check this though with an academic advisor or student counsellor).

Even taking this one step towards self care, either contacting a counsellor, as has been suggested, or seeing a doctor can help you with making the next step, and then the one that follows that...just one small positive step at a time...just one...you are worth it, with or without the PhD.

Hi again

I think Piju's advice is great. If you have support of medical dr and counselling service that should help your appeal.

I just chimed in to say, be cautious re medication... there are other ways to get back on track and there are risks with meds. I'm not saying don't take them.. It's your choice. I'm just consider your options carefully.

Please reach out to your university counselling service. They will listen to you and provide you with a document to request extenuating circumstances. Go see your doctor as well and get a sick note for 2-3 weeks due to anxiety/depression. Not being able to read and process a line is a sign of a mental breakdown. Get proof and the challenge the university for not giving you time off. Also involve the students union or official authorities if need be.

Reported for abuse to admin, as this is an essay buying service you are advertising.