Ok, this might turn out long and I apologise for the rant in advance.
As some of you will know I'm down to the last 6months before submission,but couldn't afford to not work therefore I have a full time, brain demanding job with silly hours. i'm write whenever I can, but struggling to get any good runs (full days etc). I had AM off yesterday so went to see sup with the my second chapter,he had seen most of it and i've been working on the discussion. I'm not very good at discussions, and wanted to let him see the initial part i'd written (only draft and not had chance to read over last bit i'd written before this meeting). I also wanted some guidance on whether I was going down the right route as I suspected I wasn't.
Anyway, he told me that it was all a load of rubbish, i'm going into too much detail, wrong direction and start again.This is fine i guess and half expected, but it was the way he acted.
He's been an awful sup, never around, he also has no idea about recent techniques as hasn't set foot in a lab for almost 10 years-he knows the theory obviously but non of the practicalities. The lab unfortunately has not had much funding over the last few years, going from a very strong lab to basically just me, therefore I've had no postdoc support, and spent much of my time writing grants to keep his lab going -I brought in really the only funding there's been in the last 3 years!
Anyway, throughout my time I have met with him semi regularly but he's just asked what i'm working on and left me to it, no support on the day to day work at all.Never read anything i've written, and is now just completely putting me down.

He just laughed and sighed continuously at what I had written, and said things like "was this written at 3 in the morning" (my response almost - 11pm!) and "do you REALLY have an honours in microbiology".
This just felt like an arrow through my heart, as if over the last few years with failing experiments and no support I've not lost enough confidence in myself, he just put me to the bottom.He sat and had a go at me for working in the place I am, for pretty rubbish money and not doing more towards the PhD. Disappointed that i'm not going to conferences and still doing odd experiments in the lab.
I think he's ashamed of the job i'm doing, which is in public engagement, I love it and after the experience I've had I never want to step foot in a lab again! I think he's still hoping i'll come back to the lab and telling me not to let anyone know i've left- which they all do as I have good friends in the lab block and they all know what i'm doing now, therefore I can only assume he's ashamed to let people know what i'm doing-and possibly worried he's going to lose his lab.
Anyway, I just don't know what to do, i'm so tired and just don't know where to start. Hopes of July finish are vanishing. There's so many reasons to get this done but my heart is not in it and he just keeps taking all determination away from me. :-s

Oh, hey AL, that's really tough. This process is hard enough without a rubbish supervisor. How can he not have read any of your work? He sounds like a complete pratt, with no sensitivity and no idea of how to give constructive feedback to students. Do you have another sup you can talk to?

Put his comments to the side for a few days, have some time off, do things you like, spend some time with your partner, and then go back to them. He's a jerk, but maybe some of his comments do have validity, despite the way they were presented?

And you like your job, so don't feel bad about that! Lots of us have to work in areas that aren't related to our studies, in menial jobs, and the fact that you have a job you love, in a related area is brilliant! Yes, it's not academia, but that's not to say you won't go back to academia sometime. It sounds like your sup has been disappointed with you for taking this job ever since you got it, and has a bit of a thing about it - and no wonder, if he was relying on you for grant money and to keep his lab going! You're doing what's right for you, as best you can.

As I regularly say, a PhD takes as long as it takes. Don't beat yourself up about missing a July deadline either. We all push them back, despite working our buns off. I really doubt I'm going to make my June deadline too, so you'll be in good company as we keep going on this seemingly never-ending, torturous process!

Have a break, and relax a bit. Hugs to you and hope you feel better soon!

What a petulant shxt head! What a childish piece of work. You have every right to be angry, but pity him too, because obviously he doesn't live in the real world. He's exactly the opposite of what a supervisor is supposed to be and if anyone should be ashamed of their standards, it is him. There's obviously a lot of resentment on his part. I don't suppose there is any way you could get someone else, perhaps quite a bit more objective, to comment on your work - perhaps without such non-constructive, theatrical reactions?

Hi Sue,
yes, he is a pratt! :) He has read some of my writing more recently, sometimes I think just skim reading and told me it was ok - I knew what i'd written for discussion wasn't very good and needed much work but I wanted helpful feedback not that!
He used to never read what I had and used to tell me not to try to write thesis in first two years and just get on with lab work, but I was always determined not to leave it all to last minute so just kept writing materials and methods and lit review etc.

My other sup is ok, nice guy but he's a medic and unfortunately doesn't have much of the science knowledge - I don't think i'd get much constructive help from him, been waiting to give him my work until I know its in a decent state and he can just give advice on any medical stuff and more general writing style.

I just so want it out of the way, i'm fed up of it hanging over me, i've lost all passion I had for it and pretty much despise it now! But I can't give up this close to the finishing line therefore I just have to keep plugging away!
I really want to give myself some time off from it, but I really have to take any evening i've got. working this weekend and away with work visiting schools all next week, therefore I have tonight and tomorrow, and bit of sunday, and then thats it til following sunday! :(
MUST GET ON.........!! cup of tea first I think!

Thanks for your support and hugs Sue, I wish I was working as determinedly as you! I feel after yesterday if how ever much time and energy I put in results in rubbish then what's the point?
Anyway, enough of my moaning, just need to step back on the ladder and keep going.

Thanks Wal, he is a sh*t - and not a little one, an obese unfit one! :) someone at my work made my laugh yesterday by saying, well feel comforted it sounds like this guy hasn't had sex in a very long time! :) heehee!

Yes, there are people I could probably get to look at my work, but they are not experts in the subject, and that is the problem - he is, he's a prof and does know his stuff!
:-s

Sorry you've had to deal with this Alpacalover. I do think you should get your second supervisor involved though, if only to encourage you to keep going to the end, especially if your main sup is so discouraging! Frankly the things your main supervisor has said are totally unprofessional, but you're stuck with this person, so you need to find a way to carry on.

Try to ignore what he says about your day job: that's what your doing, for good reasons, and you're not stopping. Focus on his feedback about your writing, and any specific tips about what you need to rework, and focus on doing that, just that. Don't dwell on the past in terms of how rubbish his support has been, and the lab environment. Just do what you need to get to the end.

Also if he thoroughly gets you down do consider getting other support at the university, even counselling if that would help you vent your feelings, and keep going.

Good luck!

Hi Alpacalover
I don't much to day in the way of advice except to get your second supervisor involved as much as you can in the writing up from now. Even if he's in a different field he will be able to help with structuring your writing and at least checking it all makes sense. Give what you can to you main sup, but as everyone else says, just ignore anything he says unless it's directly about your work, and try to find the constructive comments underneath all the bullshit. I have a sup exactly like this, wouldn't know how to be constructive if it slapped him in the face (which I've wanted to do many times) and I've sat and listened to him saying how crap my writing is, how it annoyed him reading my work, cursing all over the place...it's been so so hard but I don't let him get to me anymore, I just sit and say ok, ok, ok, but what do I do about this etc. Which I think annoyes him even more, but I enjoy that bit! :-)
Just think of all the experience you are getting from this guy, you've got plenty of experience in grant applications and dealing with difficult personalities, you've got a job that you really enjoy now which is a big thing so don't let him put that down! And your motivation for getting to finish...when you're done, you'll never have to have that fool supervise you again! get stuck in and get rid! and BIG HUGS!!!