I had my first interactive seminar today with 70 third year students, and my supervisor decided to come and watch (under the disguise of being there to 'offer support'!). I was a bit nervous anyway because I'm not so confident about standing up talking in front of so many people, and I don't have a lot of teaching experience with big groups like this one. But when I got there I was so nervous that I was just sitting at the front with my back to the students as my supervisor was explaining their next piece of coursework to them, actually fighting back the tears and thinking that I just wanted to walk out. I very nearly just ran out of the room. I couldn't even speak. Fortunately we had some technological issues with the room so were forced to take a break whilst it got sorted out, and I managed to calm myself down a bit. My supervisor realised I really wasn't good and offered to take over but I managed to drag myself through it and in the end it actually went okay, with a bit of input from her at times.

Does anyone else get this wound up? I mean I get nervous at other things now and again but not like this! I don't even know what I'm worried is going to happen, it's just like some physiological response that I can't control. My stomach is still in knots and I haven't even been able to eat my dinner! My supervisor is great but I feel pathetic and really stupid that she saw me like this :(

Does anyone have any advice for what might help? Please? I really want to be good at teaching and I think I could enjoy it but I'm struggling to get over this huge hurdle! It's beyond a normal level of nervousness!

Cheers guys, KB.

I'm not sure if this is very helpful advice, but having had (in this case, coaching) experiences where I've fallen completely flat on my arse and failed has instilled a confidence in me. Because when you've experienced similar situations going wrong, you kind of realise its not that bad.

So for me I cling to two thoughts. Realistically speaking, what's the worst that can happen? And how much will it really effect me? (The most important part is "Realistically speaking" because your mind can think up some random things.)

Dear Keenbean, first of all well done you for teaching 70 third year students. I am soon to be a 4th year and have no teaching experience under my belt. I understand how you feel about your supervisor being there, my supervisor present at any talks I give really makes me nervous and I just feel so uncomfortable that I too want to run away. It sounds like in some ways your supervisor was trying to be helpful. If she is a good supervisor then she should not be too quick to judge your teaching skills but know that you just needed some support as this was your first seminar. Supervisors should know how their presence affects their students! The best news is that you did it. You said it went ok and you picked it up towards the end you could have easily handed it over but you didn't. That is the best thing that you continued on and I think your supervisor should appreciate that. Why are we so hard on ourselves?! Be kind to yourself this was your first interactive seminar and you done it now you can build on this for the next one.

Hi KB,

I think I remember you mentioning that you were going to do this on one of my 'terrified about teaching' threads. 70 third year students! I am in awe that you even managed to stand up! Seriously, anybody would panic in that situation. Great experience though- once you're comfortable with this, anything else is going to be a walk in the park.
I will share how I got over my fears about teaching, but I struggle to explain myself and it will sound a little strange!
Firstly, about a week before I was due to start I started getting the knot in the stomach, waking up in the night etc. And something inside me snapped. I thought 'I refuse to carry on like this!' I'm quite confident in myself but when in comes to these kind of situations I'm a wreck, and I spent the first year of my PhD being scared of everything. I know exactly what you mean about the physiological response- I was in actual pain sometimes I was so scared, and it's no way to live your life.
I started trying to separate myself and my feelings from the job I had to do. So instead of imagining myself going in the room and imagining how it would feel, I imagined watching myself go in there as a neutral observer. Kind of like a forced out of body experience!I also thought about the fact that we are all -your students and you- just human beings, and ultimately it doesn't matter what any of them think of you. You, just like them, will do your job, live your life and eventually- sorry to be morbid here!- leave this mortal coil.
I realise I'm probably sounding like some new-age pseudo-philosopher here! But it really was a turning point for me, so if any of this helps I'm happy to embarrass myself for a moment :$ ;-)
It might also be worth picking up some decent books on public speaking. A really, really good is by Patsy Rodenburg and it's called Power Presentations (terrible title). She's a very well known voice coach and she teaches breathing exercises etc which help to relieve some of the physical symptoms of fear. Stuff like breathing into your belly rather than your chest.
I'm not sure how your classes work, but another thing which helps for me is to set up some group work at the start of the class. This gives you time to compose yourself and it puts the focus on your students and their answers rather than you. Seeing how nervous they are speaking in front of the class will also put you at ease slightly. Is this a possibility?

I hope I've been of some help.

I'm no psychologist, but I've read that this relates to adrenaline being released in response to new and unfamiliar situations. With practice the situation becomes more familiar and you gradually feel more relaxed. Don't beat yourself up over it, just think positive: most people feel like this and those who don't almost certainly used to. I've found that preparation and rehearsing (even in your head) helps a lot. Being an interactive seminar you can't fully prepare for every possibility so it will be more stressful than a lecture. The fact that you really want to be good at teaching is a good sign that you eventually will be!

Hi :)

I have just begun my PhD but have tons of experience in teaching (sadly :p) and even performing (like, playing gigs in front of a few hundreds...). The two experiences are very similar, and the main common point they have is this: you get used to it.

Some people are naturally good at it. I suspect your sup' might be one of those lucky few, but don't feel pathetic about her seeing you like this. I personally think you should not be asked to teach such a large group AND be observed for the first time. What they'd do in, say, an Education department is they would let you co-teach for the first time (with a fellow student generally) or they'd let you be on your own to begin with if you prefer. I usually asked to be on my own at first. I figured that when I was, I felt so responsible that I completely forgot about the stress (and the fear to get killed... but I taught secondary, and in fairly rough neighbourhoods...). It took me much longer to control the stress when observed, especially by staff I liked, so I'm anticipating I'll hate presenting at conferences :$

Think that you've done it now, though it was not easy. You should feel proud and congratulate yourself for going ahead and doing it - you've done the hardest ;-)

Hi KB

Well done for getting thorugh it!!! That's excellent!! Next time will be a lot easier. Yep, panic attacks are just so horrible, awful, awful things...Like you, I used to be terrified before teaching a class - it is adrenaline pumping around, and I was so worked up that I used to sweat profusely. Have never had this problem before, but by the end of the class I'd have huge wet patches under my arms. Well gross! Had to make sure I only wore black and had to use really heavy duty anti-perspirant for men! :$ At least you don't have that!!

But I got used to it. I used to do breathing exercises before class, and drink chamomile tea to help calm me. I'd visualise walking in, setting up, speaking to them all. I made sure I was prepared and knew how the class was structured. And yep, group exercises or someone giving a brief talk first up is good, so you can calm down while the class starts. I also attended a tutor training course for new tutors, which was incredibly helpful in teaching me how to teach - highly recommend you look for one of these at your uni, if you're not already getting some training. The main thing I learnt was that I was not there to lecture, but to facilitate, and the less speaking I did the better - get the students to do the work. By the end I hardly ever was out the front talking at them - I'd move around, talk to them in groups, get them to talk across to the other groups etc. Group exercises not only helped them learn, but took the pressure off me. But it is just practice, and the more you do, the better you'll be. Hang in there!

Hi Keenbean,

Firstly it is quite something to teach 70 people! As such the fact that you have managed this is already a major achievement.

Secondly, perhaps the key question is how to get rid of feeling nervous / these unpleasant feelings?
Obviously practice helps, but what do you do now?

I think it really helps if you have an opening gambit / sentence. I would learn this by heart, so that at least you know what to say at the beginning, which is usually the hardest part. Also be in the lecture room already before the others, assure power point etc. is working.

Also it helps if you know what you are going to talk about. So really prepare and be certain that you know your stuff. Then indicate in the beginning what you are going to say, middle part address that, last part / conclusion; repeat what you said at the introduction.

You can do this, good luck
:-)

======= Date Modified 03 Nov 2009 09:19:54 =======
Hi keenbean,

I can completely relate to your experience as I myself had to teach a batch of 70-90(mix of undergrads and masters) students last week. This being my first experience, I was completely nervous :$ . I kept reminding myself that everything will be OK. Went to the class on time for setting up the LCD projector and OHP. The class was suppposed to begin on time but I was struggling with getting the two devices to work properly. With each minute it felt like what the hell am I doing here :-s . Fortunately the undergrads knew that I was having some technical problems and offered me help in setting up the equipment (up) . It was all sorted out and class began about 15 min late. Initially there were some problems to talk face to face with the students, but slowly as words starting coming out of my mouth I began to feel more and more comfortable. Some things I do when I feel nervous is not looking at the audience directly but say at the back wall of the conference hall. Or occasionaly looking towards the writing board or the slides etc.. when explaining things. For the initial classes you could look less at the audience directly and than with each passing session increase your frequency of interacting with the audience. :-)

As you say that your professor is a very great person, he will understand that with passing time you will get better. Why even my professor said that he would take over in case I needed help. But in the end everything went well and I am already looking forward to the next session.

Cheers

Hey guys,
Thanks all so much for all your advice and supportive comments. I will make a to-do list of all the things you guys have suggested to do to calm myself down before the next one and hope it will just get easier. It is really difficult to deal with because there is no logic behind the panic....I am not quite sure why I am getting so wound up and when I think of the worst case scenario, it's not really all that bad! I do get nervous about other things from time to time, but this was just off the scale. I am always well-prepared and had spent plenty of time ensuring that I knew the material well and was familiar with the video clips and discussion points so I wasn't scared that I didn't know my stuff. I suppose the more nervous I got the more I was stressing that I wouldn't be able to get my words out and that was just making things worse. Oh well, I shall persevere and in time I'm sure it will get better- for now I shall just be happy that I managed to get through it and also relieved that there are others out there who also feel like this! Thanks people! KB

This sort of goes against what other people have been saying, but I started getting over my nerves when I *stopped* picturing myself actually doing the thing I was worried about. I just got into the habit of doing whatever preparation I needed to do, then pushing the whole thing to the back of my mind pretty much until I was getting to my feet to speak. (I'm talking here about giving presentations at work rather than teaching, but I guess the principle's the same.) Rather than over-thinking everything (what if such-and-such happens? how would I respond to so-and-so? etc), I decided to just get on with it, and I'm sure that helped me relax and feel sufficiently at ease to be comfortable with a certain amount of unpredictability and improvisation.

That may be of no help to you at all, because it doesn't really sound like you're overthinking things to begin with, but it might just be another way of looking at things.

Hi KB,

I'm also in your situation. I'm new to teaching and as well as doing my PhD, I'm doing a PGCert in Higher Ed teaching and learning... which means I get assessed on my teaching. Ahhhh. I used to find I was a bag on nerves before each lecture/ workshop and I'd over prepare and then panic when I didn't say everything I planned on saying, or if a student piped in with their 2 cents. I've taken the approach now though, where I will only prepare what's necessary (slides, handouts) and wing it from there. If you know the material you're teaching, just try relax into it. Remember, you know more than your students, and teaching is in a sense just imparting that knowledge on others.

The thing that stresses me out most is trying to actually get the students to respond to me. A lot of the time they will just stare blankly at me when I ask them questions or give activities, and that annoys me. Like, yesterday, I gave them an hour of the allotted lecture time to get one part of their assessment done, while I was there... I walked them through it and half of them just sat there and doodled on paper. Geez... why do it in your own time when you can get bits of your assessment done in class?!! Silly people! Their loss I say!

Anyway, you will get used to teaching... I hope, for my sanity, anyway. I'm definitely a lot less nervous now, and while I still get the odd few moments when inside I'm screaming out for someone to swoop in and save me, you get through it, and it's all about learning for you as well as the students. You'll get there and I'm sure you'll become and excellent teacher because you obviously have the passion to do it!

70 Students! WOW!! I would say that that is a major achievement in itself! Well done!! (up)