I am a mom of 2 kids (8yrs and 19mos). I always wanted to be in academia, teaching students and without a Phd I will not be able to get a teaching job.
More into the story, I did my Masters when my first kid was 2.5 yrs old. After Masters, we changed cities and got pregnant, I could only manage to get admin jobs for 2.5 years. Things we different when I was in Masters, I loved the studying and had no other stress except feeling guilt about my son. I only used to work 3 hrs/day and run to my son's daycare. About weekends, I think I only spent 3 weekends or so in my university, I took holidays and enjoyed doing my Masters TO THE CORE. My husband helped me A LOT when in Masters.I am an average student, not a wiz at all but I work dedicated and hard, so my grades make it look as if I am intelligent.
Well now after 3 years after Masters, things changed. Me and my husband had some issues and even though he 'seems'to care, I feel very insecure that I am not financially independent and I feel paranoid that I need to be there for my kids. I dint not want to make him pay for my Phd, so I applied for funds. Now I have awarded full funding for full time Phd, I am still to sign papers and start next month. My husband offered to keep a helper for 2 days/week and put my 19 month old in day care. I am thankful.
Now, my questions:
Has any one done full time with kids?
How many hours do I need to put?. I have NO IDEA of how to get a topic or anything as of now
I am I insane to even think about taking up phd
How sharp do you need to be to complete in 3 years, my funds end after 3 years...
Please help me all,I rely on you.
hi Heron welcome to the Forum, your questions:
Yes plenty of people have done phds. It is possible.
How many hours do I need to put?. I have NO IDEA of how to get a topic or anything as of now - if I were you, I wouldn't count hours to put in, I would look at whichever days I can work for the phd, and just do that step by step. If you count hours, you will find that your kids will get in the way, your husband will get in the way, everybody else will get in your way.
no you are not insane to think of doing a phd. The only downside about doing a phd (and it applies to EVERYONE) is that sometimes a phd can really take over our life. We live and breathe only the phd, and this affects people around us who are NOT doing the phd.
I think everybody needs to be sharp :-) but don't worry about deadlines, because most people do take longer than 3 years. If you want to do a phd, work towards achievable targets, don't look at 3 years to complete, it will drive you nuts. If it happens, then it happens.
To do a phd, will not be too different from when you did your masters.
Since your husband did help you a lot.
What you will need is loads of support from him (or your family), talk to your husband, make sure you still allocate time for him. Husbands are like "pets" (no offence intended), they need nurturing.
If you nurture your husband well, he will support you and he will do even more for you (without you having to ask!!!).
If you have parents, ask them to help you to babysit, and then start planning out family things -- like when you will go grocery-shopping, when you will clean the house etc.
everything starts with a dream, best of luck
love satchi
Are you in the UK? What's your subject?
You should think of a PhD as fulltime, so at least 40 hours a week, but like Satchi says, this depends on the person and how productive they are.
If you are in the UK you will have four years max to complete your PhD. Most students take 3.5 to 4 years. It's rare to complete in three, but not impossible.
I have 2 children 5 and 6 yrs old. It is doable, infact I am finding it easier that full time work because it is more flexible. The hours depends a lot on what you are doing. You will not need to be at a PC on library for 40 hours a week, lots of those hours can be done ruminating over ideas whilst you hoover and wash the pots!
You have to be more clever with your time and focused e.g. there are students in my uni who don't have children and def put in full 40 hours+
I don't put in as much time because I make sure everything I do is as focused on my own PhD topic as possible. I have made as much (more in some cases) progress as my colleagues. I find children make me more focused and less likely to wander off topic. I'm always ahead of deadlines because I have to plan for the dreaded month doing nothing when both come down with Chicken pox etc!
Oh Thank you so much every one!..this forum is wonderful :).
I now get some insight. I am not doing it in US or UK. I am in South Africa. Although I understand that a PhD wont land me into a job, I want to try as this seems the only way to end up in academia. I only have approx 2 years of experience in pieces which is next to zero....
Also my funding seems a bit strict as it says in the contract that " on termination ALL of the funding has to be refunded WITH INTEREST"...and also there is a penalty for not completing in 3 years!!. Well, looks like if I meddle with the course in ANY manner, I am screwed. On top of that my husband just reveals that we might need to relocate after 2 years, it isnt for 100% but chances are still there. I have not signed anything yet, but I waited for funds for a whole last year. I feel all confused :(. I did mail my supervisor on this possibility and waiting for response
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