My PhD is causing me major stress at the moment.

I'm half way through (18 months) but I don't feel like I've done anywhere near enough work. I've got a lit review and have submitted a 6 page paper to a conference which I've managed to expand to around 12 pages as just general writing to give to my supervisor.

But my main problem is a lack of a clear goal. So far I've just been going from one small goal to the next, without a clear vision of what I aim to achieve - I don't even have a concrete title or research question. Every time I'm asked about it, it changes.

I also lack the confidence to raise these issues with anyone, let alone my supervisor. I hint at it from time-to-time but he usually just says "carry on with what you're currently looking at and we'll come back to this later". But we never do. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy but I find it awkward to explicitly mention things like this because I always worry about what people think of me.

My other problem is just a whole pile of crap in my personal life that's finally caught up on me and in the past few weeks I've been struggling to focus. Combined with me thinking that 18 months from now seems like tomorrow I keep feeling like I want to quit. But if that happened I'd be letting down so many people, not least myself.

Although it seems early, I'm turning my mind towards an extension, which would hopefully give me a chance to sort stuff out. But I'm not sure if I'd be allowed to, the university will be fine with it (they always are), but I'm not sure about the people funding me. Obviously I'll stop getting a stipend but that's not an issue (I've got savings I'm prepared to dip into). The problem (if it is a problem) is that I'm part of a bigger project, and it's that project which lasts 3 years. Does that cause an issue? Or am I allowed to keep going beyond the day of reckoning as it were?

Sorry if this seems a bit rambling. My head is a bit all over the place at the moment.

This probably isn't much help, but I feel *exactly* like you do. I really hope this is just a temporary slump because the thought of another 18 months feeling like the stupidest person to have ever attended this university is just, well, not really worthing thinking about.

It's exhausting.

Do you have a welfare rep or personal tutor within your department that you could have a chat with? If it's a case of you feeling like this but you actually do want to see the PhD through to the end perhaps they could help you draft out some sort of timeline/schedule so that you can actually see what needs to be done over the next 18 months, instead of it feeling like a ball of tangled wool in a thunder storm inside your brain. Or is that just me?!

Are you able to give yourself a day or two off so that you can get away any thing to do with your research? I'm hoping to do that this weekend. If I don't get away from this place for a few days I might easily lose it and tell some members of the department what I REALLY think of them!

Hope you're able to work things out.

Hey Spiderpig! Sounds like you need a proper chat with your supervisor to sort out what your research questions are and what you are aiming to do. Although it's quite normal for people to sepnd most of first year working this bit out, by now you should have an idea of where you're heading so you can structure your work and have a clear focus. Perhaps you could tell your sup that you are trying to draw up a timeplan but are not aure what to include in it, and thus need a discussion about exactly what you need to be doing. A couple of PhD students on the same team as me were part of a bigger project, but both have taken their fourth year to complete the write-up. One had done all the practical work on time (i.e. within 3 years), so that wasn't a problem- she was allowed to write up in her own time. The other girl had experienced some major problems and even at the end of 4th year hasn't got all the data she should have and was subsequently dropped from the bigger project, although if she can get extra time she is allowed to continue with her PhD- it just won't be part of the bigger project any more. So I think as long as the practical work is done in three years, you'll be okay and you should be allowed a 4th year to write up. Why not double check with your sup exactly what the position is? And finally- take care of yourself! You sound pretty fed up so maybe you need a short break or a change of scene or something- sometimes it's hard, but don't sacrifice the whole of your personal life for your PhD, it's not worth it! Best wishes- I hope you get it sorted! KB

Thanks for the replies.

I don't think the department has a welfare person, but the uni has a counselling service which is probably the closest thing.

I've just been out for a long walk, which normally helps me work things out, but this time it's made me realise something: I don't know if I do genuinely want to continue my PhD, or if I only want to keep going because I enjoy the working environment and I have a great group of friends here. And that's the strange thing: my social life is fine and I can't wait for the next night out or party to come along. But that's no basis on which to continue and I really need to find an answer to that question.

I'm considering making an appointment with my GP because I seem to have lost my enthusiasm for everything...except going to the pub, which is concerning in itself.

Sorry for the double post, but in the space of a couple of hours I feel much better.

I went and had a coffee with a couple of mates who are also doing PhDs and it turns out we're all pretty much the same.

I would still quite like the possibility of an extension and to try and set a clear goal. The former I'll broach in my next face-to-face meeting and the latter I'll dedicate tomorrow and Friday to in the form of more or less writing a whole new research proposal, but without what I've already done.

Blimey, I feel so motivated now! :-)