Hello

I'm a UK PhD student entering my fourth year. This was following a masters degree which I enjoyed and I loved every minute of my masters dissertation, getting myself a distinction in the process.

The PhD has been very different though, I've found its a big step up (as is expected) but I have always felt as though I'm on the back foot. I have a very strict supervisor who is a hard task master and this makes it very difficult to relax about it.

The biggest contrast with my masters is that I felt as though I have had no freedom. Essentially my supervisor has dictated the method that I use and I really don't like it. I believe it is flawed and overly complicated but my supervisor insists on me using it. I've said several times it could be better to change but my supervisor says 'you've already developed this method now' so I've felt stuck and held back. I also believe its bad practise to stick to one method without exploring others but that's the way this thesis has started.

What I find most worrying is that I loved my masters subject and the PhD is in a similar ballpark but I find myself hating the project and dreading waking up each day to work on it. Whats even worse is that my supervisor insists I hand in pieces of work weekly so I feel as though the pressure is relentless. I know many here would like more regular feedback from their supervisors, but this is the opposite extreme. Two other PhD students in my group have quit under her.

So I think about quitting a lot, how can I turn things around? My funding ends in March but I have no motivation to carry on. I really should have been more assertive earlier on :(

My PhD is science based BTW.

Thanks

Hi, I am also struggling with whether to stay on my PhD, also entering the later stages!

I was just thinking with yours, if the problem is mostly your supervisor, then you cannot let that stop you - it is your PhD at the end of the day. Do you not have a second supervisor who can maybe even out the dynamics a bit and help with the methodology predicament?

Have you tried to speak to your supervisor about the pressure you're feeling - she may want you to hand in work at such a pace as SHE feels that this will be beneficial for you, and she may not realise the negative impact it is having.

Motivation is definitely linked to feeling happy with what you are doing and also feeling able to do it, it is not too late to be assertive and express your concerns. Again, remember is it your PhD and your future on the line :)

Alternatively, is there anyone who oversees the postgrad activity in your faculty/school that you could talk to about your concerns?

It is an awful feeling, so many of us seem to go through it - hope you feel better :)

One other thing people keep telling me is that it only has to be good enough, just get it done and then you can do the other things you want to do, and do it your own way!

So sorry to hear of your situation.

I too feel like I have less control in my PhD than I did in my Masters. It isn't the same for everyone, but I think that because many PhDs these days are funded, there is lots at stake (for funders etc) and so they can be quite constrained - almost as though you are doing the work for someone else instead of yourself. Since I am extremely independent and intrinsically motivated, I find that incredibly DEmotivating. And it sounds like you may be similar? Some people like it when their supervisors tell them what to do, believe it or not!

Do you think you would regret it if you quit now, even given the circumstances? I think I would regret it and so I would continue just for that reason if I were in your situation (I think). I really would advise that you stick at it - especially since you are in the fourth (final?) year. After all - when you have your PhD under your belt you will be free to do research under different PIs (hopefully ones who aren't so domineering as this supervisor) and even apply for fellowships to do your own research. The present situation will soon be behind you.

I really do hear where you're coming from though - especially if you (like me) chose to do a PhD BECAUSE you thought you'd be independent and you thrive on that. It sort of feels like, "hey, this completely sucks... I've been short changed". At one stage I actually thought I might finish this PhD and then do another PhD elsewhere! But I've got that out of my head now and have set my sights on doing a postdoc (with DIFFERENT people!) and enjoying that. Maybe you could do something similar - that is, look ahead and just get through this.

All the best
Tudor

I do have a second supervisor but they haven't contributed to the project, only turning up to my upgrade presentation earlier last year. This person works in the same department and operates in an identical way to my current supervisor. The few times I have worked with this person have been difficult and the two people in my research group complained about this person in their appraisal when they quit. So I don't have much faith in them.

I would like some fresh perspective but don't think I would be able to get it from my second supervisor. My main supervisor also advised against me going to my panel chair which I thought was odd (maybe they don't see eye to eye...). So yeah I feel like if I try and do anything to turn this around I risk falling out with my main supervisor. Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

On many days I just wish I could go back to my masters dissertation and research on that more as it was an important area with a massive gap in the literature. I really miss it.

I have spoken to my supervisor about my concerns but she doesn't want me to change the direction and says I must keep handing in pieces of work to finish on time which contrasts to my friends experiences where they have more freedom. I find the pressure counterproductive.

I wish I could just get through it but I literally have no motivation to unfortunately. I'm sorry to hear you are both having a hard time, feel free to chat with me about your PhD troubles if you wish :)

That is my point - your situation now is a bit crap and can't really be fixed. But if you focus on getting it done, maybe you will be able to work on what interests you more later on. It is hard, but there is no point in dwelling on what you can't fix now or on what you used to enjoy - and the chasm between these two things. You have to accept the circumstances and move on. Sorry if my last post was a bit confusing. Between the lines this is what I was trying to say. All the best with everything.

Tudor

Yeah I've been here long enough which makes leaving all that more of a difficult decision, I can see where you are coming from :)

Do I carry the project on the same path my supervisor insists though? Writing feels like chalk grinding against a blackboard because I dislike the work to such an extent. I'm a bit of a perfectionist so writing this up really goes against my train of thought. I know a PhD is supposed to be tough but the lack of freedom has sucked my enjoyment out of the project completely.

Given I have so much to do and the lack of work I've done in the past year, is it worth it? (I really have done little over the past year and I think carrying on would leave a big mental scar).

By accept the circumstances and move on, I mean continue and finish your PhD - not leave! Sorry if I am not writing very clearly!

Do you have an academic advisor you can talk to? They may be able to help you out/advise on how to talk to your supervisor and make changes.

How much of your PhD is left? When does your timetable say you'll be finished? I think those are the questions I'd be asking myself if I was seriously considering leaving. And having already spent 4 years, I'd be sticking it out if the end of the PhD was in the foreseeable future.

Good luck!