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Slightly random topic. I am just wondering whether anyone else has experienced this. Since I started my PhD I have gone through a long (and often upsetting) process of thinking about myself really in depth. Thinking about my past experiences, views about the world, and my research. Looking back I am now, so, so, so different to the person I was when I started the research and this is definately a good thing. I find it really interesting how doing the PhD has changed me. But at the same time I worry about it meaning I am just too self absorbed! I know the PhD is actually about the issue, and producing a thesis instead of being about me. Has anyone else gone through a process like this?

Hi Slowmo. There is absolutely nothing random about your post. You've just described a very big portion of the PhD process. You're becoming a researcher and demonstrating all the skills necessary. What type of research do you do? Is it the positivistic natural or biological sciences, or are you dealing with qualitative research. If it is the later, what you have just described is integral (which you'll already know). If it is the former, then you really should be a qualitative researcher.
Ironically, I don't feel like I've changed at all - and I do plenty of naval gazing. Not to drastically simplify matters, I only feel different in terms of I know a bit more stuff. I'm probably a bit more cynical if anything - and short tempered!

Haha - yeah I am a qualitative researcher. I know this is what I am meant to do to an extent, in my methodology I have a strong focus on reflection in the research process. Sometimes I just wonder if I am too introspective. I guess maybe it is because no one else in my department doing qualitative research ever really seems to talk about how the process has been for them. For me I feel that the process of doing the research has been huge and actually totally life changing. Thanks for replying - just checking i'm not a complete weirdo :p

So strange, I was just thinking exactly the same thing earlier!
I study literature and furthermore I'm actually focusing on inter-personal relationships, on love and all that sort of stuff *vague* I've always been very analytical by nature but I really do feel like I'll never look at the world in the same way again *vague and dramatic* and it's kind of sad. I'm a far more sorted person than I was a year and a half ago, much more confident and independant, but it's kind of sad to think that so much vulnerability has gone-my 'soft' side if you like.
As for being self-absorbed.. it doesn't sound to me like that's your problem. In fact if you're anything like me it's more that you see yourself more objectively now.

Hey Slowmo, I'm completely in the same boat! My research topic constantly has me thinking about the meaning of life, what it means to be human, what it means to have some sort of brain disease, and all sorts of 'deep' things like that! Also, my research is in mental health, and I was drawn to this sort of topic due to my own awful experiences of being a long-term mental health patient, so I do end up reflecting on myself and my experiences an awful lot. In one way it helps- I have a lot of empathy with my participants, and am extremely well motivated and dedicated to my research because of my personal experiences. In another way it can be difficult- I am constantly being reminded of really awful things that I have experienced or seen at the hands of the mental health system, which I sometimes wish I could just forget. My PhD is mainly quantitative, but I am also doing a qualitative study using interpretative phenomenological analysis, so I have to be really careful about putting my own experiences to one side and concentrating on the experiences of my participants without being biased. I love my topic and I wouldn't have it any other way, but yes, I do feel as though I spend far too much time self-reflecting and thinking about myself! You're not alone! KB

hi slowmo, hi everyone
thanks for sharing; yes I guess we do go through this self-exploratory thought process :-)
I'm basically the same person I was before I started my phd, only difference is the things I have gone through and learnt throughout this phd; for example I learnt a music software (of which I would never have done if I had not left my country and come here to do my phd!); and I started eating chicken....

hello there folks!
I'm doing a science phd and so it's not as qualitative and introspective as everyone elses here but, i do feel like ive done a lot of thinking about myself and my principles. I think it's spending a lot more time in academic circles partly, as being an undergrad student my time was more evenly divided between uni, my part time job and the pub! :p since starting the phd ive spent loads more time speaking to academics and fellow students, and at conferences etc and I've found a bit that sometime, conversations with other non-phd friends tend to get a bit tedious at times! I'm not sure how good a thing that is! And as I've got a lot less time for the kind of inane gossip that happens in non-academic work places!
I do feel very different to how I was when I started which I definately think is a good thing, I've had to re think a lot of my beliefs and ideas about things and had to accept change for some, but been more sure about those that I have decided to keep! And I've spent an inordinate amount of time picking at my belly button... :-)

The challenge of doing a PhD has changed me a lot, I am more confident, better read, and have a better range of interests then before. My confidence in my abilities has increased, and although some parts of the phd have been plagued by eating disorders or low moods, I am def. on an upward trend now, providing the viva goes okay and I can find a job!

In 3.5 years since starting the PhD I have been able to pick up the rudiments of conversational language in a rather small and unusual European language, which is probably one of my proudest achievements and changed me a lot in giving me confidence and letting me know what I can do if I apply myself.

Because of my PhD I have recently been able to move to a different country, write-up the last parts of my thesis (almost there!!!) and start learning another new language. An amazing opportunity which I would never have had as readily without doing the PhD

So I have no regrets about doing the PhD as it has changed me for the better, but now I am just sad that there are no jobs in academia :( (sprout)

This is a really interesting topic - I am only at MSc level but in Psychology/Sociology, I seem to think about myself a lot and it is sometimes encouraged, I also do all qualitative research and so to be reflexive I guess a bit of sensible self-analysis is required. I think that with any degree, particularly PhD level, you are effectively working through a research process and that comes from something that is internal to you, that you have a special interest in. Therefore, it is like a practical exploration of your psyche, gradually becoming external and recognised critically by others. Therefore, during that process you are going to look at yourself constantly, as it holds a lot of meaning. I hope that makes sense!