Here is my favourite question of the day, asked of me so far! I usually get very amusing and random questions by confused and lost students, who somehow seem to think that by sitting in an office, I have a lot more knowledge and power than I have!

Today--student--do you know anything about contract law?

Me-puzzled look as I unbury my head from other issues, Pardon?

student--I was just wondering if you know anything about contract law. Professor Blogs ( whose office is next door to mine) is not in. I thought maybe since your office is next to his ( he must be a contracts lecturer?) that you would know contract law.

Me--no--sorry, am just a PhD student, etc.

Student--standing in the doorway, unconvinced--but I have a question on contract law.

me--well, I am terribly sorry, but I cannot help you.

Student--well, do you know who can?

Me-well, no, I am terribly sorry. Perhaps you can try back later and see if Professor Blogs is in then?

Student--relief on face--yes, that is a good idea. I will try that!

My other half gets stuff like that all the time, he gets students coming in and asking him to organise appointments with some of the senior lecturers or asking him if Dr Smith is in the building.. I am sure I wasn't that bad when I was an undergrad.. Some of them just seem so dense and/or lazy!

The best ones have to be the students who email the day before an essay is due with lame excuses as to why they can't hand it in 'I have a cold', 'My cat is sick and I had to go to the vet can i have an extension till next week', 'I have a poorly foot' (how that stops you typing i don't know). Strange how these things come up just before the deadline!

Oi Tricky! I have a chapter due this week and my cat really is sick! He's having x-rays and being kept in at the vet - poor little mite... and I kinda cancelled the classes I was due to teach today so I could take him!

I have an unbelievable one like this... I taught IT to a group of first years last semester - they could get an exemption from this module if they had an ECDL cert. Obviously they had to hand in a copy of the cert, fill in a form etc.

Another lecturer from my department sent me an email one day to tell me student X's ECDL cert number. I wondered how she knew this and on further discussion she told me that student X had told her friend who this other lecturer teaches (in a different subject, on a different COURSE) to tell that lecturer to pass it on to me!!!

I don't know if I explained that very well... but it was so funny at the time - it's as if they assume that every single member of staff must meet up daily to gossip about them - never mind that there are over 1000 staff here!!!

@Sleepyhead..

lol.. That is a bit different Hope your cat isn't too poorly, what's up with him/her?

With these students they have like 6 weeks to do an essay then on the last possible day they want an extension, its blatent that they just haven't done it and have tried to come up with a lame excuse as to why they can't hand it in.

The best is when they come to the office at 12.30pm, while you have a gob full of sandwich, and say "Oh, are you having your lunch?" and you say yes, you are indeed. And they don't politely bugger off, but just carry on asking questions all through your lunch.