Dear all,
I am writing up the PhD thesis : I have written the chapters of introduction, methods, results and a draft of discussion; examiner for the PhD viva have been appointed and we are in the process to decide a date for the viva. However I feel so exhausted, stressed, anxious and negative that I don't want to proceed anymore. Especially for the discussion I feel most of the time blocked and to overcome my anxiety I need to take commitments that distance me from the thesis. I am concerned about the time taken by my supervisor to correct the thesis and the amount of corrections that could induce me in a more stressful period. Moreover I feel that I will passively engage the viva not having any interest in it.
I am not suitable for the PhD and I don't want to force anymore my self to do things I don't want and simply the PhD does not belong anymore to my life's project.

My thoughts concerning quitting from the PhD program go on since more than one year and I have been proceeding until now in a passive way.
I realized that what blocks me in taking a decision is the reaction by my supervisor: I am scared.
I was wondering if my supervisor can use a legal action against me in case I quit given that we have written agreements in finishing the thesis: I wrote a plan for the writing and there is an email in which I guarantee that I would have finished the thesis. I am tryng to do so but the continued study is negatively affecting my mental health.

Thanks

Hi Shack

You sound completely overwhelmed by things. I would recommend speaking to someone about your stress and anxiety (maybe someone at the university student support services, or your GP). If I were you, I would not make any decision about the PhD just now, but would prioritise getting help for your anxiety. In terms of the PhD itself, it sounds like you are quite close to being finished, but please get some support first - stress and anxiety can be completely overpowering, and I think it will be easier for you to know what to do if you can get some help to reduce your anxiety.

Yes, I agree. You need extra support for how you are feeling. Make that a priority over the next few days: to get some help for how you feel.

Then you can decide how to proceed.

xx

It's normal to feel stress and anxiety during the write-up stage. Keep at it, you don't want to throw it all away when you are this close to finishing. As I have said before, this is when you really earn the PhD.

Thanks for the advice. I already get support for my stress and anxiety and I can't sustain anymore this situation. Please could give me information if it is possible that a supervisor could launch a lawsuit against a PhD student in case he quit given that they had written agreements in finishing the thesis?

There's no danger of legal action Shack. Your advisor will be disappointed, but nothing more. If you really want to quit I would tell them and see how they can help.

But you're 99% done, it would be such a shame to quit now.

There is no risk of legal action Shack93. You have written agreements that are a normal part of planning the PhD and noone could hold you to that legally. People pull out of PhDs a lot. I personally believe if you really have got there in your head, it is a brave person that makes such a big decision, especially in light of well-intentioned reactions like those here saying it is so close and you are nearly there. They have a point about that - don't get me wrong. I just think it is your decision and it would be easier for you to talk about it honestly if there was more openess to all the options available to you.

Honestly, there is a lot of truth to what people say - it is so close and you are not far off. On the other hand, you know you best. You know your own mental health and you are the only one that can make the decision. I'll just say this: I have been where you are now, paralysed with anxiety, with weeks to go, and I know that I could not keep working under those circumstances, let alone make a big decision like quit/continue with PhD - which is life changing either way (sorry, not trying to put more pressure on you!).

Whatever decision you make, you want to not regret it later, right? So get your head in the best shape possible to make that decision. You need more support - what you have may be working to a point but you need to ask for more. Go back to your GP, seek counselling if you haven't already, take a break if you can. Even a week would be beneficial. If you have a good relationship with your supervisor, talk to him or her. But you can't either finish the PhD or make this decision (either way) wisely if you are so stressed and paralysed by fear or whatever it is that is holding you back. I took Valium (prescribed) for a few weeks for a few weeks to get myself back into a settled head space so I could work. For you, it may be that you decide to quit. I hope you don't because you are so close, but it isn't my PhD and it isn't my mental health that is suffering. Only you can make that decision. Either decision is brave if you make it when you are clear-headed and most of all, honest with yourself without being hard on yourself. Take care and good luck! And please let us know how it goes - I for one would love to hear whatever the outcome.

I would also suggest you to ask for some kind of break. I would almost bet that you would regret the decision in the long run and I could imagine that a failed PhD is not beneficial for a new career, no matter what you are planning to do next. Do some thinking and don't rush into something. You managed the last year, so it is definitely possible to manage that tiny little bit left :) Would be a pity if all those years of hard work would have been for nothing.

Like the others already said, there is no way this could have consequences in terms of a lawsuit. People drop out all the time. There is nothing a supervisor could do about that, no matter how often you said or wrote that you will finish.

Hi Shack93,

I experienced the same feelings you have now. I spent a great deal of time googling 'failed phd', 'what to put on CV' etc. and thought of quitting 100 + times a day for 18 months. For me, I decided I couldn't justify the time taken to try and complete the *dratted* thing (10+ years part-time, including sabbaticals). Your thesis does not have to be perfect, just good enough to satisfy the examiners.

The thought of the viva *terrified* me... and I was still considering quitting the night before. My viva was not as bad as I expected and the examiners discussed how I could improve it. I was given 12 months to re-write and re-submit, and then a further 3 months of minor amendments. I am not 100% happy with it (being a perfectionist), but I am now a recent PhD graduate.

My mum (wise woman) once said: 'there is no right or wrong decision, just different consequences'. I hope you will take some time to consider your options.

I would suggest:

* asking for medical help (medication or counselling)
* taking time off, if you can (medications and counselling takes time to work!)
* consider your options when you are less anxious and more relaxed
* understand your PhD, or other, fears/issues/problems
* make a list of what can be done/not done to alleviate these
* speak to relevant people about these enablers/barriers
* then make a decision...that is the best for you...

Whatever you decide - don't look back - only forward! No regrets.