Quitting after first year

D

Hi, I was hoping someine could help, just finished the first year of my PhD and I'm feeling pretty shitty. Thinking about quitting and dont know what to do. Worried about so many things, career and financial implications especially. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

T

I can think of one former member who could have helped here.. but alas he has been bannedfrom the site..

Try looking back at some earlier threads for advice on this.

A

Hi deiseal. Can you say a bit more about why you are thinking of quitting?

If it is because you have decided research really is not for you, then there is no shame in stepping out of a PhD now. But if you are going through a 'down' patch and worried about lack of progress, that is par for the course and not something you need to quit over.

D

Thanks, both of you for your reply, much appreciated. Partly because I've had an illness over the year which has seriously impeded my progress. Secondly a severe lack of confidence in my ability to finish in the remaining three years and lastly, for reasons unknown my enthusiasm has waned, why I dont know but feeling pretty desperate!

H

Hi deiseal, I can understand how you feel especially because you have suffered from illness in your first year. How does your supervisor feel about your work? Do they think you can do it?

I think it's that time of your PhD life where you feel demotivated anyway. I know I feel like that and so did DanB (a regular who is currently on ban). However you should think back to your initial reasons to why you wanted to do a PhD in the first place. If they still stand, surely it would be worth carrying on?

A few months ago I felt that maybe I should quit and doing a PhD wasn't right for me. My supervisors think I'm doing well and I love my subject area so it kind of motivated me to carry on. Maybe chatting to your supervisor about it will help?

D

Thanks H, originally before starting I loved my subject couldn't have imagined doing anything else. I was lucky enough to get a studentship at the uni to do a PhD and was thrilled at the thought of having four years more to work on it. Now totally demotivated, and if try to talk to my supervisor he's very evasive. Both myself and another girl, (for whom he's also a supervisor),have had the same problem. I think he's so talented it's difficult for him to BUimagine anyone struggling! I think possibly I've lost my love of what I'm studying, and to do another three years I would really need to enjoy it. Also fear I haven't got the originality/spark to produce a great thesis on it.

H

Is there anyone else you could talk to in your department? Like a postdoc or maybe the graduate tutor (not sure if you have one in your department).

It seems a shame to give up something you had such high hopes for but then again doing it for 3 years whilst you are uncertain could be a lot worse.

D

It would be a shame as really was excited when I started and I know that if I quit I'll feel like a total failure! Afraid that will let myself and others down. But possibly would be happier doing something else. Definately will make an appointnent with the postgraduate tutor, he's much more switched on than my supervisor!

H

let us know how you get on

D

Cheers all, thanks so much for your patience in advising a currently nervous wreck! Have emailed him for appointment, as yet no reply. Thing is off on holiday next week (bad timing I know but b/f decided to arrange weeks vacation for my b'day), so any decisions will be delayed for a week. Think most of hol will be spent pondering this...aaarggh! First time in life dont know what to do!!! Apologies for sounding like jittery type person, normally much calmer, honest!

H

deiseal, I think its a good idea having a break now. Try not to think about the phd and enjoy yourself (I know, easier said than done).

A

That's good advice from H.

It sounds as though you've got a crisis of confidence. I think your comment about not having 'the originality/spark to produce a great thesis' is illuminating. I mean, we all WANT to produce 'great' research, but you only NEED an 'OK thesis' to get a PhD. I think part of the PhD process is adjusting from dreams of changing the world to realising that our research is only going to make a very small contribution in the overall scheme of things.

I suppose what I am trying to say is our motivation/enthusiasm changes, so you don't necessarily need to try and recapture the original spark, but look for a different ways of keeping going. I keep a couple of papers handy that, IMHO, are rubbish, to remind myself that if that can get published I should be OK - which is a petty way of motivating myself, but I find it helps!

Go and have a good holiday/birthday, hopefully a break away from it will help.

A

Hi Giny. I suppose there are a few who sail through never doubting their ability to get a PhD, but I for one have multiple ups and downs, often in the same day.

But really, for you it sounds as much practical as anything. If you are working 80% plus coping with a new baby I'm amazed if you are managing to fit a PhD in too.

I take it you are doing the PhD part time? Have you looked at the possibility of intercalating? taking some time out from your PhD? I had a friend who did this last year, for financial reasons. Allowed him to concentrate on work and saving some money. Of course he didnt completely stop the PhD work, but he wasnt expected to be producing anything so it took the pressure off. It would be a shame to quit if the research is actually going ok.

A

OK, now I am confused Giny. You're working P/T and doing a full time PhD that doesnt allow you to work?

A

No wonder you're feeling pressurised.

Will the faculty let you intercalate? Well, you can but ask. But you haven't exactly got a strong position to bargain from as you're going against the requirements of the degree programme by working. TBH it doesn't sound as though you have much commitment to the PhD.

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