I'm a relatively mature PhD student and have just started my 2nd year, but am thinking about quitting. I did have some problems with my Postdoc at the start (as some of you may recall!) but we sorted those out and we are (almost!) a good working team. I enjoy my project, especially so now as I feel like I have found something novel that I can pursue, thus taking the projet in a different direction.

So, why am I quitting? Well, I am feeling very down. Just before Christmas a very good friend died and I have just found out last night that another one died. This makes 7 family or friends who have died in the last 2 years and 12 since 1999. It seems like it is a race. I didn't sleep last night as I started to think that there must be more to life than this and I haven't yet done anything I want to do in life. Any advice would be gratefully received.

Dear Neil, I'm very sorry to hear your news. You say that you have not yet done anything you wanted to do, but I'm thinking, couldn't your PhD be one of those things? Something made you chose it, despite some people's age prejudices, and something made you hang on to it, even though you had a lot of problems initially.

And you write yourself that you enjoy your work - isn't working with something you find interesting part of what one would describe as a good life? I sincerely hope that things get better for you, and please don't make any hasty decisions while you are still in shock. Thinking of you/ Sarah

I can see why you might want to quit just now with everything that has happened, but I do agree with Sarah that now is not a good time to make a decision. If practical you could take a few weeks off, maybe go on holiday somewhere peaceful far away from your problems and use the time on your own to decide what you want the next stage of your life to be. I did something similar at the end of my first year last September when I went to Prague. Course the cheap beer helped as well.

I would agree with them both! Getting onto a PhD is hard enough let alone one you really enjoy and want to do more with! I think taking a break is also the best idea!

Yes, there is more to life than being tied to a desk/lab all day but this too is an experience. Learning is a joy (says the expert in procrastination) in life that needs to be balanced with other aspects of life such as sorrow at loss etc... Why don't you take a suspension or go part time? For someone who enjoys the topic, gets on with the team it is a shame to let that all go now and maybe later regret it.

Thank you all for your replies. I am actually feeling at the lowest I have ever felt. I'm not one who usually lets things get to me (I'm usually the one who listens to other peoples problems). I have a meeting with my supervisor and postdoc today to go through my work. I get on well with my supervisor so I'm going to speak to him beforehand to get his opinion of things. One of the other PhD students says I should just carry on.

Good luck with your meeting today. One thing I've learnt in life is that there is always going to be some sort of upheaval going on. IF it's not fammily and friends, then it's work. As the storm has passed I've come to think that in retrospect, it wasn't that bad.. I survived.

One thing that I would find difficult to live with I guess is the 'what ifs' that come afterward; what if I had carried on my life would have been better, I would have an accomplishment to be proud of etc.. This phase in your life will pass. one day you will look back and say yes it was bad was I persevered and now I have my PhD.

Hi Neil, sorry to hear about your sad news. PhDs are hard enough without added stress like that, no wonder you are feeling like quitting. See if you can take some time out, people will understand that you need time to grieve. Don't make any decisions now, you may regret them later. All best wishes.

Hi again, holiday might be a good idea, but try not to isolate yourself too much - problems have a tendency to grow when kept inside. Is there anyone you can talk to, like a psychologist or clergyman? Don't know about UK, but there are such persons associated with my university, where you can go without having to pay. Talking things through with someone unconnected to you maybe would help.

I really hope this doesn't sound inapproapriate, given that I know none of the details behind your circumstances, but I'm sure your friends and family would be proud to see you complete the PhD. There would still be time afterwards to do the other things you want to do and the opportunities a Phd brings may even make it easier for some of those things to happen.

Thanks for all your advice. I've decided to take a week off and spend it with one of my friends. But I'm going to have to wait until after the renovation of my newly bought house (added stress!) is complete next month. Thanks again