I am a masters student and my boyfriend is a PhD student in the same program.
We have been together for 2 years now.
I am about to graduate and finding it extremely difficult to maintain this relationship. I constantly feel that he does not find time for me. I understand that he is busy and understand the pressures of grad school. What troubles me is that he finds time for all other personal activities he wants to get involved with. I feel he is over committed with being on committees, volunteering and all. He just forgets me but expects me to be there. I have been very supportive in the past but now I have grown tired of his attitude. I think he just takes me for granted.
Should I just hang in till he finishes his PhD and hope that things would change once his PhD is over? or Should I just break up and get moving with my life?
I have thought about breaking up with him but I think I really like him and feel a little weak and selfish in doing so.
Please help me with your experiences on how to survive your partners PhD. I know it in my heart , I want to make it work. Please help me.

volunteering and committees etc are part of PhD life in my experience. They are not compulsary, but to get a job after, and to get to know the 'right' people and get in the right clique to be considered for work and to be well known in the field, they are important.

I think you're best bet is communication. Sit him down, tell him how you're feeling and ask what he's thinking. It could be that he feels too swamped to spend any time on a relationship, or it could be that he really wants to make it work but is under a lot of pressure - in which case you can decide whether you want to hang around and try and support him, or whether its best for both of you to go your separate ways.

You might be able to come to a compromise e.g. he spends every friday afternoon doing things with you. I know that sounds small but, in a PhD sometimes every waking hour is spent doing work/thinking about work, so that would be quite a big committment for him I suspect.

Anyways, you need to talk it through with him.

Sorry to be defeatist, but having been in a similarish relationship (someone who worked long hours, lots of other activities, tired when did get time together) it won't get better. We had all the talk, like Sneaks suggests, and it was fine for a few hours. But it doesn't change and you'll just end up feeling frustrated.

That is just my own personal experience, of course.

I would say definitely talk to him about how your are feeling before you decide either way.  It's true that doing a PhD comes with a whole lot of other stuff than 'just' the project, if you want it to that is. I do a good bit of committee-sitting, volunteer work and socialising with various people throughout the uni, partly due to wanting to spend time with people I like and doing things I enjoy, but I also know it's a very valuable net working tool, and has helped me in several situations where I needed assistance form other departments.  However, I am in a long-distance relationship, and therefore have the time for a few weeks to do these things, I always take the entire weekend off work and other activities when I see my boyf as it is important to have that time together. I would suggest a bit of compromise here, he will always be a bit short on time, such is the nature of the PhD, and academia in fact, but he has to understand that if he wants to be in a relationship you have to be a main priority also.  I would say if you talk and he continues to expect you to hang around until he has some free time, then you deserve better and should move on. But if he hasn't realised how he has been putting other things first and is willing to reassess how he spends his time, then hang on in there for a while.  But ultimately only you can make the decision for what is best for you. Good luck :-)

Sorry to read this. It seems frustrating. I also agree with DanB. There's no reason why it should change after getting the PhD. For example, an academic job will require more of his time. I think it'd be good to know what stage he's at. If he's in writing up, then I'd say this is a very tough time. I'm writing up at the moment and I make sure I find enough time for my girlfriend, who is also a student. It's also a good to get away from the PhD for a bit. Even if this is just for a few hours. I'd strongly suggest telling him this, but don't expect things to change after getting the PhD. I wouldn't like to take second place to a thesis, and I don't think you should either.

Best of luck with this!

hi Piyalig
hope you are ok now; our forum family has posted advice to you
my post is a bit silly but here goes anyway:

Do you still love him? This would see (the both of) you through this phd time of his.

hope everything is well with you
love satchi