hello again gals and guys,
you may be thinking, "what's it this time?!" and you're quite right. But, instead of complaining I'll try and simply ask for an opinion and/or advice. So, I found out i'm pregnant....(yes, really, 8 weeks) and one shouldn't say before the first 3 months have passed but i feel i'm getting trouble already, even before anyone at uni knows....hmmm. The fact that I am expecting isn't bad (am married and husband delighted) as such and i definitely plan on going on working until delivery (if things go well etc) but what will probably be bad is my supervisor's attitude. She already "whipped me" with quite well-chosen poisonous words when i came late last week because of a doctor's appointment and because of a residence permit renewal (i explained well in adavnce that one does not not renew their residence permits etc). She said it's up to me if i want to waste my time on unnecessary matters and looked peevishly around. She also told a colleague who was going for an operation that it didn't matter if she was gone from work because they could always hold the meeting via the phone the day after the procedure....yikes. I just wonder, what do you think is my supervisor going to say when I break this piece of news after the New Year and how to break the news?:$

Firstly CONGRATULATIONS! It's tricky, I'd try and tell her assertively and in a way that doesn't give her space to be mean. And if she does be mean act like you can't even understand that she is being mean. I find if you act like, how on earth could you interpret her as being mean as surely noone would be that mean, then she would have to backtrack to make herself seem mean again. Does that make any sense at all?! And if she is mean and can't share the excitement, then she is truely unpleasant. Bear in mind that it would be illegal for her to be unsupportive if you were an employee. But lastly CONGRATULATIONS again!

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! That is such lovely news - I'm really happy for you. Don't worry about her too much, and don't allow the concerns surrounding her to affect your pregnancy - its a special time. I would be very straight, very assertive - this is the situation - I'm having a baby, its due in the summer (fill in date lol) I aim to work as close to my due date as possible (are you mad???? lol lol) and will then be aiming to take off x months following delivery - I'd like to make the appropriate arrangements - big smile. There's not much she can say, she sounds a bit strange lol, but at the end of the day you are having the baby, we are allowed time off for things like this, don't stress and whatever you do don't come across as apologetic for it - anything but! You will work around the situation, you'll fulfill your obligations and it'll be fine. I hope that you haven't got the old sickness too bad - I had one with none and two constant :-(, yayyyyy not long til you get your 12 weeks scan - how exciting - I'm going to read now because otherwise I'll think about it and get broody again lol

Congratulations!

Some supervisors can be difficult about this and in my limited experience females sups are the hardest. I aggree be firm and assertive. Talk to your admin/personal peaple asap and be very clear about policies in place for maternity. It's a very regular occurrence - there is probably a group of some sort for student parents. If she is churlish about it don't take it to heart - sounds like her standard response to anything academically 'non-productive'. Don't let your sup spoil the experience for you.

I had my daughter at the end of my second year. My sup, who is a nightmare in other ways, was totally supportive. I took a year out for maternity (then another but that was part of an overall plan to go part-time). I was sick as a dog for the first 3 months and had a huge baby that made my last month hard going. But I am a haggard old bag and you are most likely younger and fitter!

Many congratulations!!

I agree with everyone else. She cannot, legally, discriminate against you because of your pregnancy. So, make sure she doesn't.

Go in armed with information. Look up everything you need to find out before you go in. Look on government websites, talk to your graduate school/senior tutor (don't give your name! just call and say you would like to discuss something confidentially and anonymously. they should be fine with it). Have a (fairly) firm plan of time scales and what stage you will be at in the PhD and how and when you will finish it.

If you are pretty sure she'll react badly (which you are not going to allow her to do) then do it via e-mail so there is a paper trail. Alternatively, take in a dictaphone/recorder to tape the meeting when you tell her. Explain this away by saying that because it is such a big deal you want to be able to remember everything that was said in that meeting. Then if she does or says anything illegal you have proof.

Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy - you're going to have a baby!!!

A

Everything A116 said.

You might also like to involve a student rep/someone from HR in any face to face discussions you have with her. You'll probably find she'll be incredibly nice and supportive if there's an official witness!

I know an MRC-funded student who had 6 months paid maternity leave via her studentship. There is no reason for this to be an issue.

Don't know what field you work in, but if it's lab based, make sure that none of your work would adversely affect your pregnancy.

Oh, and congratulations! :D