Hey everyone!

So I've got about 3 weeks until submission and 4 weeks until the viva. The PhD is going okay and should be finished on time. The problem is, I'm also working on a fellowship application which I only have another fortnight to complete, and it's not going well. I have to put my own project proposal together and the application form is about 20 A4 sides in total. Although I have an idea about what to do, I am a bit (well, a lot) out of my depth and am beginning to think I should just forget about it and concentrate on my PhD. The problem is, everyone has moved heaven and earth to bring my submission and viva forwards just so I would be eligible to apply for this fellowship, and a few people would be hacked off to learn that I didn't go through with it.

If I had more support from my sup I might be okay but she's so busy- she's very quick to give feedback on written work but getting a meeting with her is tough, and I really need to sit down and hash out this proposal with her support. I need to be submitting the finance forms about now, and I can't do that until I have a very clear idea about the proposal. I have one meeting scheduled between now and when I should submit the application, but it's just a few days before the deadline and I need to have the application written by then. I have emailed her to ask if we can have a meeting this week but am dreading her response...I doubt it will go down well. In all honesty I wish I could just forget about this application but I'm worried about the response I will get from the folk who have bent over backwards to give me the opportunity to apply...

Any words of advice? Please?!!
Cheers, KB

To make matters even worse I just got the email response I expected and I have been refused an extra meeting to discuss the fellowship proposal. I really have bitten off more than I can chew this time. I feel like shredding the damn thing and just forgetting it, just like I may as well forget about having any appropriate support to complete and submit the stupid thing anyway. KB

I'm going to send you a PM now

Does your sup realise how close to going out the window the application is? I would hope given the circumstances she could rearrange things just this once. Is there anyone you could get to lean on her to give you a meeting (grad tutor etc)?

Good luck with everything

Hey Hazy...I have emailed her back and told her that since she is unable to offer me support I will be putting my PhD first and the fellowship application second. She hasn't responded, and I know she's on her email, so she's obviously mighty hacked off with me. I'm truly exhausted and close to breaking point...yet it's going to be another sleepless night. At the moment I just want to finish my PhD and get far far away from here. I'm going to have a breakdown very soon at this rate :( Best, KB

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of support. I would recommend you stick to your plan and focus on the PhD. That's the key thing and dividing your attention without support from her is going to lead to too much stress.

I hope a good solution to this is found, but for now just make the PhD your priority.

All the best

Hey again Hazy...thanks for your post. After a chat with my boyf and my family I've decided not to proceed with the application and have emailed my sup to tell her. When I made the decision to apply, I assumed I would have enough support to be able to put the application together, but that has just not been the case at all- I have had a half hour or so to talk about it and a refusal to provide any more time to focus on it. If it was just like a job application I'd be fine, but it's a research council funding application for which I have to develop my own proposal and fill in another hundred questions when I don't even understand half of them. With more time and support, I could have given it a shot, but without either, it's a waste of time. But it has made my mind up that I really need to get away from here after my PhD. So now I'm off to bed, and hopefully I'll wake up feeling a lot more positive. Thanks for your advice :) Best, KB

Hi Keanbean
Good luck with preparation for submission! Your decision to prioritise your PhD over the fellowship application seems to be a common sense one. Once you have your PhD, may other opportunities come your way.  However, to be completely  honest,  provided the kind of supervisor you have, and what you have went through and achieved while working towards this PhD, it just seemed from outside that you have been through similar hurdles in the past and you somehow managed to overcome them. So, my belated advice would have been quoting the Roosevelt's words - 'the only thing you have to fear is fear itself'. 
Wishing you the best of all in submission and viva. (up)
Rina