======= Date Modified 25 Aug 2011 12:31:28 =======
I am more than 2 years into my engineering PhD and it has become more and more apparent that I do not want to stick with it. My self esteem and motivation have gradually been destroyed over the last 2 years and I am certain that I do not want an academic career. The project I was attached to is now over and I gained good experience doing it but I just don't see the point in writing a whole thesis about it.

The reasons I am still doing it:
1. Shame of quitting. I have never quit/failed anything before and worry a lot about how friends, family and employers will view this
2. Not wanting to let supervisors down

Here is the problem:
I have 3 supervisors, 2 of which actively dislike each other and disagree on everything, particularly on the focuses of my PhD. One of them is a head of department, a nice guy who is encouraging but perhaps an optimist. The other is a frank pessimist who is a talented professor but an academic bully. He crushes all of my ideas and actions and while the way he does it may be unreasonable, I suspect he may be right and I am unsuited to the PhD (he even gave this impression in the interview - i was coming to electronic engineering from physics). It has always been difficult, uncomfortable and counterproductive talking to both of them at the same time.

I need to discuss my dilemma (to quit or not) with somebody, and need help in figuring out the best way to go about it. If I had a single supervisor it would be much simpler.

Who do I talk to and how do I do it?
An email seems too impersonal and wimpy
Talking to 1 supervisor would be ideal but I have multiple and it would look like going behind the back of the others
Talking to all 3 is near impossible, it is difficult to have a personal chat all 3 at once, particularly when 2 of them have such opposite personalities and disagree with each other almost on principle. This would be easy to arrange since there are supervision meetings but I am terrified of it turning into an interrogation involving both good and bad cops.

Please help, I appreciate all of your feedback and comments and will answer any questions

Chat to the one you like about it. Ask him to keep it off the record and to not mention it to the others (at least until you are gone). This is assuming you can trust him to keep his mouth shut for that long...

Once you have made a decision for sure, get all three together and tell them all at once. Explain that you have made your decision and it is final.

Before doing any of this - find another job! Seriously, being unemployed is not much fun and won't look at all good on your CV.

======= Date Modified 28 Aug 2011 11:46:01 =======
Do you need this third, 'bullying' supervisor? Would the process be more bearable if this person was out of the picture? The quarrels between that supervisor and one of your others cannot be helping.

If this supervisor's set of skills are important to your PhD, is there not someone who can replace him? If things are not working out with a supervisor, you can in extremis ask for a change.

If you do quit make sure you've employment lined up first, as it is easier to find work if you are currently doing something else (even being a student).