I'm in the 2nd year of my phd at Dutch university and I'm seriously considering to quit. I know that it's ultimately up to myself to take that decision, but getting opinions from people in similar situations definitely helps, so whatever suggestion you have would be greatly appreciated. Unlike many people here on the forum my research does not make me feel clinically depressed, it's not THAT bad, but everyday research practice makes me feel slightly frustrated and discontent ALL the time. I really do like my subject (in qualtative social sciences), and I principally like the activities of reading, writing, and discussing, but what kills me is the routine of every research practice, and the force I have to exert on myself to keep it up. I'm actually not good at focussing on my reading (and summarizing of monographs, which is a large part of my work), but I'm really good at forcing myself. So what I do on a regular working day is go to the office, and try to concentrate for 8 -9 hours, of which I succeed to get work done for 4-5 hours on average. And that takes me LOT of disciple. I regularly tend to forget why I actually started to do research, it's like the routine kills any passion I had for my research. I feel that I would be better suited to work in an environment that has shorter project cycles (a couple of weeks or months rather than 4 years).
Additionally, I really miss my friends and family back home. I'm originally from another European country, and I have been abroad for studies (an MPhil at another Dutch university) for 3 years now (I moved three times in that period – I'm sick of that). I've been trying to socialize at my faculty for the past year, but it's hard, and most people here work on really different subjects. So most of the time I'm in my own head, trying to force myself to get work done. To sum up, I really like my subject, but the grind of everyday research practice leaves me frustrated and isolated, and I don't like where I'm living and working.
I'm 14months into the program, so that would be a really good point to quit. On the other hand, I'm really scared of ending up in an underwhelming and boring job back home. A mistake I've made is not to ever have looked for a real job between my degrees (B.A. To Mphil), as I'm the kind of person who always has a plan for what to do next. Therefore I lack the experience of what professional life in fields other than academia can be. A lot of people in my grad school tell me that they are really happy about getting into a phd after having done “regular” jobs, as they found them not challenging enough. I'm scared to quit now and then be hit by the bore of everyday life in a regular job back home. Yet even if I finish the phd, I would like to go back to my country afterwards, and there's very few research jobs in my field (qualitative social sciences – not really the background that gives you a lot of specific choices...). Likely I would be end up in a job that's not related to my f

(...) related to my field anyway, so why force myself through another 3 years of loneliness and frustrating self-discipline? Also, changing career might be easier right now (I'm 29) rather than when I'm 32. One last thing I should mention is that Dutch phd students are normally employed by their university, and I consider myself rather well paid – at least compared to a lot of other jobs.
My plan right now is to take 3 weeks off and return home for christmas, and then hopefully see clearer what my priorities actually are (isolating, frustrating research on an interesting subject vs. friends, family, and perhaps a boring job back home), but I would be SO grateful for any sort of comment on my situation...

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Hi Kwolf6, firstly I agree taking some proper time out to think about things is a good idea.

I am going to be honest and talk from a rather personal and therefore somewhat biased point of view. But if you heart really isn't into getting an academic job afterwards, seriously consider if you want to see it through to the end. I never wanted an academic job and always wanted to move into the private sector afterwards. I wanted to quit but was talked into seeing it through (and I have my PhD now) but I wish I had quit at the end of my first year when I said I was going to. A PhD won't help you climb the career ladder on its own - sure, you learn many skills from it, but if you end up in a job unrelated to your field you'll just end up playing catchup and having to start on the ladder like anyone else. Like you I'm late 20s now, trying to work my way up. So I have a PhD. Nobody cares - experience is everything.

Like I said I'm biased and, to be honest, a little bit bitter about the whole thing. I wish I'd had the balls to quit when I had got the courage to say I was going to and not go ahead to try and please everyone else. Have a good hard think about what value the PhD will bring to your life.

Really really think about this.

I believe it is easier to regret something you did ... than something you didn't do. So the dilemma is - which do you think would be easier to regret: not doing your PhD (when you look back 3 years after quitting) or having to catch up on the career ladder (if you do the PhD)? I have 7 years of work experience in my field and doing a PhD in a different field and the fact is - progress in a career has nothing to do with higher degrees. The right opportunities, the right skill set and a dash of good luck - you may end up at the top at a faster pace than other people.

By the way, which of the crystal balls told you where you would end up working?

======= Date Modified 14 Dec 2010 10:23:48 =======
I was in similar situation like you years ago but instead of quitting I let my ego, insecurity and pride make me suffer. Like you I too studied PhD away from home and its really difficult dealing emotions and focus.Thoughts dont connect, learning curve doesn't evolve, the more you try, more you fail. Not necessarly(but factually) depression but morale takes its toll. There are two options..First if you want to continue, then make sure you dont over-work..6 hrs a day is enough..then read different topics,meet/make good friends, have good lunch,spend evening for recreation, perhaps little assignment..If you seen Shawshank Redemption, then making a small hole over a period of time can serve exit strategy in case of eventuality.Also set REALISTIC objectives, give enough time and do small activities that may improve ur morale. 2months research, 15 days relax -strategy..

However, from your words I feel you have a burnout or very distracted(financial, ..etc)..seek counselling, I kept refused till I completly cracked,such was my ego...brain chemicals work in a strange way, fight or flight..indecision.. Also sometimes research team can be boring if there is less resource n supervisor missing.Some of my friends switched universities and found success easier. Topic of interest is also important. Dont fight war of attrition..Dont put so much pressure..Go home if you want to but dont be scared opportunities will dry up. Hitting same wall again and again will only make you lose suffer..Also you can take academic suspension for a year if GP confirms your burnout...trust me fresh mind runs like anything, you probably finsih PhD early rather late with rest..anxiety will only increase your procastination...Mark Zuckesburg, facebook founder n billionaire also dropped out from harvard..so no PhD doesn't mean end of life, its big and enjoy it.. If something doesn;t work, try something else..who cares if you get it at 30 or 40..at 60 you'll be proud to crossed the barrier..

Hi,

I do, in a sense, agree with what you've been told so far. I am not at all considering quitting my PhD but I did quit another postgraduate course a while back, after completing around 80% of it. I forced myself to hang in there, but when I finally quit, I felt so good I couldn't even explain! However, that course was really bringing me down. Towards the end, I was crying every night, sometimes even in the morning, out of guilt mainly - I had never dropped out of anything before and yes, it does take courage and strength to do that! A friend of mine actually congratulated on giving up which felt weird at the time, but now, looking back, I know exactly what she meant.

That being said, I would really take the time, in your place, to examine where that frustration comes from and to weight it against the frustration you would feel if you decided to quit too - if you like your research area, it is very likely that you'd regret not finishing your project I think! Also, I think part of what you describe is a 'normal' feeling for a PhD student. I agree it is not normal for it to last, but it can also last quite a while before it goes away.

I'm totally with you on the idea to take three weeks off. Do that, but do actually take time off - try not even think about your research for the first two weeks. Who knows, that might just allow you to recharge your batteries and rekindle with the whole process!

Good luck in any case :-)