Ok, time to get some things off my chest...

I'm just over a year into my PhD, full time. I've been struggling to keep up with the workload for a few months now and it's getting worse - I keep screwing things up and having to re-do them, actually forgetting to do some stuff even though I plan it properly and generally being a bit shit. To cap it off, my sup (who is a very supportive guy) is starting to get annoyed with me for basically getting it all wrong, which I guess is understandable.

Another issue is this - I decided a while back that academia isn't for me but thought it would be a hell of a waste to drop out since funded PhD positions are so coveted. But now I'm wondering if it's worth it after all. I'm not sleeping, am grumpy and irritable all the time am so fed up of feeling like an idiot every day. I came into this PhD (science-based) from a humanities background after doing a science 'conversion' masters' that really wasn't all it promised to be so in all honesty I've been doubtful of my abilities since pretty much day one. In fact, after I did the masters, I had huge trouble getting a normal job because I was overqualified - imagine how bad it'll be with a PhD as well. Should I cut my losses now and face the uncertainty the real world, or wait and (hopefully) pass the PhD and...THEN face the uncertainty of the real world?

What does everyone think? Any advice greatly appreciated!

Wow so I'm not the only person who feels like this! I have to say, I feel very relieved! And you're almost at the same point as me! It's so difficult isn't it, cos like you I know some people try over and over to get a place on a PhD in the first place (myself included) so my main feeling is guilt that I can't just be happy and get on with it but at the same time I have this niggling doubt that I can't do it! Have you spoken to your supervisor about how you feel?

I am at the same point in my PhD and was going through a really bad patch up until a couple of weeks ago...I passed my upgrade but then for a couple of months after it seemed like a real slog and I was struggling to find any motivation. Then I had a really good chat with my other half and he said he'd stand by if I wanted to give it up but advised me to think hard before I do - these opportunities don't come along everyday. I spoke at length with my supervisor and told him I was struggling and he was really understanding. He told me to take some time to think about everything - so that's what I did.

It's then I started to appreciate my situation - a lot of people would give anything for a funded PhD and I am extremely lucky. Although I don't want to work in academia at the end of my studies, the process of completing a PhD will enhance my skills in so many other ways and that's what I'm focussing on.

I'd advise you to speak to the people closest to you and see what they say...also, speak to your supervisor and air your concerns with him. The reason you might be getting things wrong might be because you're stressing and worrying...maybe if you speak to him/her they will be understanding and you will feel less pressure.

I've have written the last couple of months off and started afresh 2 weeks ago - with a clear list of what I need to do. So far so good but I take each day at a time now...I think that's the only way to get through it all!!

As for the job situation at the end of the PhD -I think that's an issue we'll all face eventually so I'm just ignoring it for now!! :-)

Thanks guys.

Anyway - since I posted that, it turns out that pretty much all my data for the past year is background noise, even on my positive control. So that's a year wasted and basically back to square one. Frick.