Hello. I find this forum so helpful when I have been stressing about writing and general issues in the past, however it is very hard to find any advice for my (unusual) circumstances anywhere on the web. Basically I've had a nightmare experience on the PhD. I am currently in final year, however it now has to be extended. I started my PhD with the same supervisor I had for my undergraduate and Masters. In my second year, I found out that she was retiring from another person in the department. When I asked her she denied it and told me not to worry. Well basically I found out that my supervisor was not a good supervisor and actually had many students that dropped out near the end or required major corrections. Others in the dept knew this and nothing was done. When she finally left I got a new supervisor (I'd previously had two however my first had already edged the second supervisor out so they no longer had any idea what I was doing and weren't interested in getting to know it). My old supervisor (who retired) was re-appointed as my second because the university believed she understood my thesis topic.
My new supervisor was very harsh largely because we have very different writing styles. I write then reorganise while he writes perfectly from the beginning. I got a lot of critique with no positive comments which really affected my confidence to the point where I seriously considered leaving.

Flash forward to this year. Old supervisor has been harassing me by leaving me numerous voicemails asking for chapters I have already sent her and making comments like "I am your first supervisor so why is ***** getting your chapters first?" This has went on for months with me explaining patiently that I had already given her the chapter and she had given feedback on three separate occasions (each time because she had forgotten she had previously given feedback). It soon became clear that she is showing some form of early onset dementia or similar....

I soon approached the University to ask for help but because old sup is not technically employed by the University they can't do anything except tell me to block the number and that I would soon get a new supervisor. I've blocked the number but that doesn't stop voicemail's getting through and I've had dozens over the last few months. I feel horrible for my old supervisor because they are clearly struggling. However, I am also struggling with my new supervisor and his constant criticism of my work. So I made an apt with one of the senior lecturers and explained the situation. She has now came on board as a supervisor. While not in my area of study, she is looking at my writing as the constant criticism from my other supervisor has really shredded my confidence. She is giving my feedback, however the confidence issue is still there as I have been working on one chapter for over 16 months. Yes, ONE CHAPTER. I started the chapter with my old supervisor and she wanted minor changes. However the new supervisor after that hated it and wanted it changed along with the thesis layout. This was all in my second year.

I understand he thought my old supervisor was a horrible supervisor and he's correct. But the University knew this and yet did nothing until she left. I am feeling very under pressure as I want to finish and be rid of the PhD. The newest supervisor (my 3rd 'first' supervisor) who has came on board in last couple of months now wanted to see my work first because she knows my confidence is so low. Problem is, this chapter is now very near completion but it's had yet more changes because so each supervisor wanted different things. I constantly feel like my writing is below par and while I have the support of some of my other PhD students who cant believe the supervisory changes I've had to go through, it is very hard to explain the stress I feel...

So basically I was originally hoping to submit in Spring but because I have been held back by this one chapter and all the changes I still have another chapter to write. So I am aiming for submission in August. To be honest my whole PhD has been a horrible experience and I wish I had never decided to do it. I received full funding and knew it would be tough but I did not see all these supervisory changes coming nor the fact that I had bad supervision to begin with. Because I also had the same supervisor from undergrad I never knew what a good supervisor was actually meant to do. So instead of getting help at the start improving my writing, its only happening now this far in and after constant criticism from the supervisor who took me on after my original retired. He is now basically my second supervisor with his boss my new first. She gives constructive feedback but because of the past I feel like an absolute failure when she changes some of my writing or suggests it.

It's all so blooming complicated and as such its hard to find any advice for it online. I guess I just wanted to vent, so apologies for how long winded it is. I am just very frustrated as all my peers have now submitted and I'm so behind due to all these issues I've had. I now just want to get a job as I have a family and my stipend ends in Spring. My extension will give me free fees but no income so in the next couple of months I will need to get a job and complete my thesis in my spare time.

Basically, I want to know if any of this normal? It is very hard to know how often supervisor changes happen or their frequency?

I can't really offer any advice as I haven't experienced anything like this, but it definitely doesn't sound normal to me. At my Uni we have a 'third party monitor,' i.e a supervisor we only see when we want to talk about our main supervisors. Is there anyone like this at your University?

Ditto - we call it an advisor at our place. It sounds like you could really do with talking to yours if you have one.

Hi kenziebob and Tudor_Queen. No, we don't have that sort of system in place. At the beginning we were given two advisors, however my second one was pushed out by my first, and as he showed no interest when I spoke to him I pretty much only really had one sup. It turns out my one sup was terrible. My newest supervisor I sort of used as an advisor. I went to her when I finally had enough and she stepped in as my new first making the critical one my second and getting rid of my old supervisor completely, who had previously stepped down to a second after retirement. It was never my choice for her to stay on board after I found out how bad she was.

I think at this stage with everything that's went wrong, I have zero confidence in my work. Because of my original supervisor being so bad with very little feedback and then a very critical supervisor, who was a lot of the times just nasty with his comments, I find it hard now to judge if my work is ok or if they all think I'm crap. Added to that my old supervisor still phones me leaving voicemails for some non existent chapter or being confused and thinking he's still my supervisor as he doesn't remember.

I obviously know the forum can't tell me if my work is crap etc so I suppose I'm just venting to people who may see where I'm coming from. It's very hard to explain to people who don't understand the PhD system or process.

What you say about having no confidence in your work definitely rings bells for me -- the most difficult thing about doing a PhD I've found so far is never getting a 'grade' or explicit indication of how you are doing. It just doesn't seem to happen, although you could always do what I ended up doing and ask if there's anything they are unhappy with! I think a lot of it is to do with the fact that our work is never definitely 'finished' - it might be submitted, or published, but there's always something to add, or something someone would phrase differently. My supervisor told me right at the beginning that it might feel like a shock when I get lots and lots of feedback about written work, and it was (I ended up in tears at home!), but it was needed. Their feedback was constructive and I made sure it was clear that I had taken their comments on board, which they appreciated. They never thought I was 'crap' or not worthy or not suitable, which I obviously worried about after that first feedback, but were just giving opinions on what might make my work better. I find it quite easy to receive this hefty load of feedback now :)

Again, I can't give you much advice about the SP situation as I don't know anyone who has had a similar situation. Is there anybody in the school who you can talk to? There should be someone who is there for PhD students to talk to, even student services.

Hey Nova, the need to vent is very understandable!

Hard as it is, as kenzibob says, the constructive criticism will help and is good. Just see it like a nasty tasting medicine... it's for a good purpose in the end, and despite the negative feelings at the time, it will get you better (hope that doesn't sound patronising - metaphors can be helpful).

PhDs have those really low moments for sure. You're so not alone. Regarding the situation itself and whether it is normal... defo not normal to have an ex supervisor with dementia calling you up all the time (sounds harsh but could you just change your number?). Changes to supervision etc... I think it is quite normal - not common but happens a fair bit.

Since you don't have an advisor could you ask for one? Or even just approach someone in the department who you feel you can share stuff with - like an unofficial mentor or advisor? Maybe ask someone if they'd mind having a chat (but just be sure not to say anything that you wouldn't want to be repeated).

Hope you're managing to take some time off for Christmas/New Year.

Hi Nova, this sounds like a really difficult situation. It has gone on for such a long time and having to learn the 'style' of different supervisors and how to adjust one's self to their different expectations and ways of delivering feedback-well it isn't easy. For what it is worth, I am a backwards planner with my writing as well and I know when I work with people like your current supervisor (those who write 'perfectly' first go), I have to accept and gear myself up for very forthright and sometimes almost abrasive criticism at times. While I cope with it relatively well now, once upon a time this could be crushing and sometimes it still hurts somewhat. The hurt feelings though and lack of confidence are temporary states. They are not related to your intrinsic worth as a person and/or as a PhD candidate. You might be able to look up and work with some CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) techniques to help with managing these feelings. CBT is a really helpful therapy technique I find-having used it at various difficult times in my own life.

Having to constantly re-write when you are so close to the end can feel like it is heartbreaking at times and it is stressful. My experience has not been any where near as stressful but I have had to work with supervisors with quite different styles and my submission was much later than I had initially hoped, due to extended waits for feedback and having to wait for one very busy supervisor, and that was hard, so I can only imagine how much more stressful your experience might be right now.

I support Tudor's advice in that if you can change your phone number, that might sort out the problem of being phoned by your ex-supervisor with the early stages of dementia and it might be the kindest thing to do in the short term.

Have you given this current chapter (the one you have to re-write) to your newest supervisor for feedback. She sounds like a good person for you, (you have already said that her feedback is constructive).

Your current constellation of 'events' does sound unusual but overall supervision issues are not uncommon and neither is having your submission dates delayed due to circumstances beyond your control. Best wishes and hope the vent has helped.