Hello Everyone,

I'm quite new to this forum although I find myself wandering through occasionally, but I've never posted before. I'm 18 months through of a 4 year PhD in biology. I thought I'd post and ask for a bit of advice, basically, I'm not entirely certain that this is right thing that I should be doing anymore. I kind of sailed through my undergraduate degree and got a first class degree, at a loss of what to do with my life I decided I would apply for a PhD, it wasn't entirely on a whim, I'd been thinking about it for a while. Eventually I got accepted onto a PhD and started, the first year was great and I seem to be making some progress in my work now, which is good.

However, earlier in the year I had to present at a lab meeting we have after taking a few days off to go back home and celebrate my birthday, I didn't pick up the email as soon as I would have liked which basically meant that I had 2 hours to prepare for this - I threw together a presentation detailing my work and gave the presentation, later this day my supervisor asked me for a chat and basically told me that my presentation was sub-par, I explained the situation, that I hadn't checked my emails over the weekend and that I didn't have long to prepare. My supervisor then preceded to tell me that it wasn't really acceptable, and that we take holidays off on the basis that we will make up for lost work. I was pretty shaken up by all this - I've never really been told that my work isn't up to scratch or anything like this before. Anyway, after this I worked the hardest I have ever worked in my life for 3 solid weeks leading up to christmas, I was determined to make an effort even though at this time I pretty much hated my PhD life - my supervisor expected weekly meetings to discuss progress and everytime leading up to a meeting I just got really panicky and anxious.

After christmas, I went back to work and after a pretty dreadful first week, I got some project students to look after and had a really good 3 months doing my PhD, looking after project students and getting some useful data. Now the project students have left the lab and I'm back to doing my PhD, before Easter my supervisor gave me 17 days to write up my 2nd annual report and a poster that I have to present later in May, and I have experiments to do as well as this. At the moment I just feel swamped with work and like I have an unreasonable amount to do in the time given, I'm working every evening and weekend to get things completed on time, I've spoken to people and they tell me to just talk to my supervisor, but after what happened I feel anxious about it, and that if it's expected of me then I should really be able to do it.

I just want a bit of advice with what to do and how to handle this situation. The idea of just quitting has become some kind of fantasy in my head, I'm really interested in my topic and have a good life where I am, I don't really want to quit or change projects, so I'm just looking for

... continued...

I'm just looking for a bit of advice for how to handle the situation.

Thanks

Hi Matt
I think your supervisor is wrong about holidays - they provide a necessary break in any job and are not a shameful weakness that you should have to make up for. However, that doesn't help your current situation. I'm afraid my advice would also be to talk to your supervisor but not necessarily to talk about the current set of deadlines (though I don't see why a poster for May needs to be produced 17 days after Easter and maybe that deadline could be moved a bit) but to go in with your own timetable that you think is realistic of when you intend to get future work done. That will hopefully show your sup that you have a plan and may stop them pushing their own deadlines onto you. If they aren't happy with your timetable, it will at least provide a positive basis for discussing a different version so that deadlines don't get sprung on you.

It sounds a stressful situation and I hope you find a route out of it.

Hi Matt

I agree about the holiday thing - they are necessary, a PhD is a long process and we need breaks to recharge batteries and to get a little distance from our work to help think things through. Did you mention before you took a few days off that you were planning to do so? It might be worth doing that in future - just so you can ask if there's anything coming up that you'll need to be prepared for. But maybe that depends on the kind of supervisor you have - mine frequently remind me to take breaks. If I just take the odd day off here and there I don't mention it to them, but if I'll be away for a week or something I tend to tell them, and also reassure them that I've got a plan for managing the workload around that break. It shouldn't really matter, but in your situation maybe it would be wise.

The general work/deadline thing, yes, that is tricky. It sounds like you are working very hard, but sometimes that in itself can cause a problem. It's easy to feel overloaded. I'm in my third year now and probably the biggest thing I've learned about my own working processes is that the time when I feel like I really can't take a break because there's so much to do is generally the time when I really should take one, and allow myself the breathing space to put it all back into context and see the bigger picture.

Working every weekend and every evening is beyond what's expected, I think. The suggestion of going to your supervisor with a plan of how you can achieve things, as a starting point for a discussion, is a very good one. It can be intimidating - but just remember that your supervisor will want you to complete the PhD, it's not in their interests to have you quit. Part of the PhD process is about learning to manage your own research schedule and to gradually take control of it yourself - coming at it from this point of view, your supervisor may well be delighted that you want to take some control of the management side of things. So don't worry too much.

And another thing is that everyone feels that fear of being found out as unworthy - it's imposter syndrome and we all suffer from it to one degree or another. So don't beat yourself up about not being good enough - you are, you're just too close to it to see that at the moment!

Hi Matt,

It seems to me like you have been working really hard and shouldn't be letting your supervisor get you down. It is their job to support you - not to make you feel as though you are under constant attack. Perhaps if you feel nervous about speaking to them yous should first send an email explaining a little about how you feel and that you need some help scheduling your work load. If you come across as in control and seeking their valuable advice rather than as critical of them and whiney then I am sure you will get a positive outcome.

Your supervisor was in your shoes once!

If you then feel they are still placing unrealistic expectations on you it might be worth soliciting the advice of another member of the department - but only do this after you hae spoken to your supervisor first.

Good luck.