I'm having a bit of trouble.
I have lost my motivation.
Have done so little work.
I am only one and a half months into my course.
I can't get used to the lonliness.

My mind is distracted by thoughts that my partner is going to lie to me again.
We've been together for 7 years.
Lots of small lies throughout that time, and three big lies.

Some work was supposed to be in last week.
I didn't get it in.
It still isn't done, but haven't emailed the supervisor.
Hoping it will be done over the next two days.
Hope supervisor doesn't notice the lateness.


How easy/difficult is it to submit 35000 final words in 10 months?
Is it enough time?


Thanks for any advice in advance.

Hi Cobweb,

I'm sorry if my advice is crummy but I couldn't read and not post. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down at the moment.
With regards to your work, try not to worry about missing your deadline (easier said than done, I know). What I would do is this: e-mail your supervisor asap and write down the reasons you haven't sent him/her your work and what you are planning to do about it. Did you find some aspects of it are taking longer than you thought they would? Have you hit any stumbling blocks? Is it mainly a problem of motivation? Whatever it is, write it down, and think about how you can get around these problems. Suggest a new date for submission, making sure it gives you enough time to work through these issues.
This advice was given to me when I posted about missing a deadline and it really, really helped. I'd not really thought about why I couldn't do the work, I'd just assumed I was incapable and lazy. When I forced myself to think about it, I also realized how I could get round it. My supervisor also suggested some techniques, and I managed to turn my ill-fated chapter around. Your supervisor might not have noticed it's late. In which case, they will be impressed that you have taken the deadline seriously and have taken the initiative to work out what might be wrong.
I'm afraid I can't give you any relationship advice but I'm sure a friendly soul will come along and do so.
Don't panic :-)

Hello Cobweb, I recently posted about many of the same issues as yourself. Trouble, lack of motivation and feeling lonely are all issues that I am currently trying to deal with myself. I currently don't have the relationship issues that you have given mine ended before it even got to the lying stage.
The way I see it, you've missed a deadline because of the above issues and you haven't let your supervisor know yet. In my opinion, that's no big deal, just e-mail your supervisor and let him/she know that it will be sent very soon - this happens with me quite a it. As to your question on how easy/difficult it is to submit 35000 final words in 10 months - it's doable! I have 7 months to produce 90 000, so you'll be able to do that, honestly.
The motivation and little work issue is, however, a different matter, mediated in part by your relationship? Motivation and feelings of having done little work, in my experienced opinion, form a vicious negative feedback cycle, so the less work you do can make you feel even more unmotivated and think why bother (it has with me). Motivation comes through work enjoyment, achieving realistic aims and feeling as though your work matters. Perhaps you can set and try and achieve aims, start a progress thread on this forum or even talk to your supervisor about the problems you are having. I'm certain that there are other forumites on this forum who have better advie with regard to this. Please see the advice to my thread; there's some really good advice.
I think you need to discuss things with your partner as well, iron any issues you have with trust out. I hope that they understand what you have to go through when doing a PhD and appreciate that. Until you just sit down with them and try and talk things through, it's going to do your head in.
You say you're only one and a half months into your course? It's early days, honestly. You'll still be finding your feet, and the amount of work you have to face can initially feel overwhelming and give you an inferiority complex - it did (and does at the moment) me! I'm sure you're supervisor will be able to put you at ease.
Lastly, don't forget that this forum is a very good source of support. If you have any further issues or problems at any point stick them on here. There is a wealth of members with a range of life experiences that probably cover the problems you're experiencing and if they can help, they will. Take care :-)

P.s. I hope this isn't inappropriate, but please tick the helpful user button for me if I have been helpful. I want 5 stars for Xmas

Wally, how sad to solicit stars in that way, from someone in need too...

Cobweb, all I can add is that, as Wal says, you must get the trust issues worked out in your relationship. Emotional matters are soooo draining, they sap your energy and your self esteme, they make everything else seem out of proportion and much harder to deal with; so some time spent on that, would, I think, be an investment.

Oh, and also, I think it's important that we PhDs make an effort to socialise with friends. I know I always work so much better afterwards.

Good luck:-)