I think this will be more of me letting off steam rather than asking for help - although what I'd love to hear is other people who are in the same situation as me.

Basically, I'm a 3rd year PhD student and have a year to go. The institute I'm studying at is in the same city I've been in for the last 10 years, so I have friends here and an active social life.

When I started, the other first years were in a lab together and ate lunch etc with their lab. Noone in my lab went to lunch or socailised. Therefore I just didn't meet any students. I was too scared to just sit on my own at lunch - which now thinking about would've been the best way to meet people, as all of the students sit together. I have no problem with meeting and talking to new people at all, but I found the thought of sitting on my own and the chance of being ignored by everyone a bit terrifying.

Now I've been here for 3 years and don't know anyone socially. It makes me sad that all the students go out together after work and at the weekends etc. but I'm not involved at all. I don't feel like I need to go out more than I already do, but I feel I'm really missing out. I feel like a right wierdo and wonder if the other students think I'm some kind of loner. Even a friend of a friend started a PhD in my lab recently and he made friends straight away. I feel very inept!

Anyway, I know theres nothing I can really do now, so I'm just going to chug on. I think maybe the time for making friends here was in the first couple of months and I failed at that!

I finish in a year and will have to move. I'm scared that the same thing will happen again wherever I move to, and then I won't even have my old freinds and family around me! (But I will have my boyfreind)

Anyone else in this situation?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you, but you have missed opportunities to make friends and it may now be harder to find them now. It's generally easier to make friends early in the programme when more people are in the same boat as you are, rather than later. It's not impossible, but you'll have to stick your neck out a little more and go out of your comfort zone. You'll have to go out of your way to create the opportunities which, early on in the PhD, may have presented themselves more often.

I don't think people will be averse to welcoming you into their social circles, it's just that they will no longer go out of their way to do so because they're already part of one. The signals you may be getting (that they don't care about you, think you're weird etc.) could be mere indifference because making new friends isn't a priority anymore. There's little incentive, or perhaps time and energy, to do so now. Also, people generally like to stay in their comfort zones.

Don't beat yourself up over this. It's the nature of the PhD - the structure doesn't lend itself conveniently to making friends. Also, you have other friends, which is good. I'd be concerned if you had absolutely no social interaction.

If you really want to, you can remedy the situation with a bit of effort. But I really wouldn't sweat it now, especially at this late stage. My advice is to just treat the PhD like a job now. You have a life outside of it.