Hi all, I posted before about an awful situation and got some good advice.

Basically, I did my viva and got a pass with minor corrections (3 months to do them). 9 months later it got upgraded to major corrections. Completely against every regulation going, and unheard of.

I've exhausted every option possible, I can't fight against it anymore, and agreed to the major corrections.

But everytime I sit down in front of a computer I cry. I cant seem to get passed the injustice of it all. I'm upset on a daily basis. I can't just suck it up and do it. I've tried but I can't.

Some days I get 200 words written, I haven't even started on the extensive research required.

I'm so unhappy.

Has anyone experienced something like this? And how did you manage to get through it?

Have you tried counselling or therapy to manage these overwhelming feelings? You should have free or low-cost counselling available to you as a student; I would take advantage of this and see a counsellor for a few weeks or a month to see if it helps. "Just suck it up and do it" is a really, really hard thing to do and I don't know many people who have done it with this kind of awful stress and sadness looming over them. It's better to deal with your corrections and your feelings at the same time, with the professional help of a counsellor. I know it can feel like a waste of time to focus on your mental health with a PhD deadline looming but this is a false saving of time - you will probably get through it quicker, and better, if you aren't in complete emotional crisis during the process. If counselling doesn't help, and you are still tearful every day, I think it may be necessary to speak to a GP and perhaps consider anti-depressants..

Hi Gwen86,

Thanks for replying.
I'm actually on antidepressants and seeing a counsellor since this happened, but I can't seem to figure out a way of parking my emotions aside and just doing it. Knowing that this should never have happened is getting on the way of progress

Hey, firstly I am sorry that it has been so hard for you-basically the situation does 'suck' and 'sucking it up' is much more easily said than done.

Having said that, while I know it isn't easy to park one's emotions somewhere else, and what has happened to you is basically very unfair, finally you might need to work towards accepting that while it is unfair, you might need to accept it as an unpleasant and unfair event that you cannot do anything about...what happened is beyond your control. Those feelings of sadness and moments of despair are probably well justified. However, what you can control is how you respond to this... What happened doesn't actually reflect intrinsically on you as a person, who you are and all the gifts you bring to the world. I think with PhD's, that sometimes we really think they make us 'smart' or a better person or have other aspirations tied into achieving one. But there can be an element of luck with PhD's. You may or may not get an effective supervisor. You may or may not have experiments that work and you may or may not manage to get the quota of participants for your interviews that you had originally hoped for. And when this happens, things do not go to plan despite how well you might have planned it or how clever you are.

200 words is okay-it is better than no words at all and if you persist with this, you will make progress. I would reiterate persisting with the counselling, as have others. In the previous year of my combined part time PhD and full time job as a leader in my workplace, I needed counselling to help me make sense of my emotions which were being triggered into overdrive by prolonged stress. I have found that sometimes accepting many things are beyond my control, these matters do not reflect on my personal worth or ability in any way and that sometimes I need to allow myself to be sad about this but to keep to a disciplined schedule helps.

Hi excommunicate,
I can't help much but can say I have been there. I got revise and resubmit, then major corrections (more major than they should have been at that stage, and with no help from my supervisors or internal examiner). I got to the point you are describing, where the anxiety was absolutely paralysing. I was going between hyperventilating to crying and back again, working for short periods of time but cracking up in between. I ended up at the doctor getting Valium for a few weeks which helped calmed me down, but of course you need to be very careful with it, especially if you are also a drinker, which I was. More crucially I found someone else (a relative who is an academic) who got me to report to him every day. He was in my field but I think even someone you get on with really well would help - someone you can meet with for 30-60 minutes every day or second day to talk about what you are doing and report to. Has to be the right kind of relationship of course, it wouldn't work with anyone! But for me it took my mind back to the thesis.

It helped that he was very kind - he would say this isn't what you need to do occasionally but gently, and just help get me back on track. Most importantly, it took time but I got to the end and got the PhD signed off.

That was two years ago - now I am trying to find time to do writing in between my casual teaching jobs. But the most important thing is not to underestimate the power of the trauma you have been through. I did what you are doing - come on, sort it out and just do it! You can do it, but sometimes you just need the right type of assistance.

I am a big believer in counselling working in the right circumstances but if your current counselling isn't helping, feel free to look for someone else - it may not be the right match. Or it may be but it takes time! Most importantly, don't give up but don't torture yourself. You can get there. If you want to message me personally, feel free!

Take care and thinking of you xo