Stressed and panicky!

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Sorry, adding to myriad complaints posts on this board!

I have areview in June, and am terrified I'm going to fail my first year (Manchester). I don't feel like I've got much support from supervisors and feel quite negative about it. I think I'm improved since my 6-month, when I was warned, but just don't know - anyone else find it impossible to judge? I was knocked back by thatreview; thought we were agreeing work and I was doing it but they thought differently. I'vestarted recording supervisions thoroughly since then. It's also taken metime to get back into academic writing, which was more of a challenge than I thought it would be.

I'm working part-time while studying to pay for it, and broke up with my boyfriend inafit of self-destruction (that was about the worst but there was other stuff) so everything is costing me more and more importantly taking kind ofa back seat to feeling terrible. I feel at the moment like I'm spending all my time working one way or another and don't have time to do things like exercise even; I walk to work butconvincing myself I have time to go to the gym is really hard.

L

i know how you feel.

if it makes you feel any better, i had no data for my phd for 5 years. and only in the last 3 years was i able to get data finally.

my particular situation was not the norm! so i dont want to scare you.

and i know about self destructive tendencies too. i have those too.

sounds like you're working really hard , working part time to fund your phd is very admirable. i really admire your determination and your commitment. and sounds like your supervisors arent supporting you, and you're just feeling lost and confused.

i dont know what to advice you though. but what helps me , is to make plans, and make spider diagrams and that tends to calm my anxiety.

it is difficult and overwelming doing everything, but just work in day tight compartments. work as much as you can each day.

it's emotional anxiety and resentment and stress that causes people to tire, not so much than the actual work they are doing.

1

Thanks Lara! Enjoying reading your writing up diary too :0

YOu did make me feel a bit better about it all - think I've reached the stage on the work I need to submit where any rewrite would involve a more thorough rebuild than I have time to do, so guess I'll have to hand in and see what happens!

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