I dont know where to start. I'm 1 year and 2 months into my PhD and I'm just struggling. Since day 1 I have been really overwhelmed. have 3 supervisors, none of whom I seem to be able to work with very well. My main supervisor is rarely around but he does respond to emails. I get the impression from him that all he cares about is publications and doesn't have a whole lot of time for me as a person. He can also be very critical of my work despite not really giving me much guidance. My second supervisor is really controlling. I mean extremely controlling. I am funded by a University but I work in a host research centre. He is not affliated with the university and has basically said I am never to go there. I feel like a member of staff. I have no control over how I spend my time and I feel personally I read/write much better in a university environment. I rarely see my third supervisor but he is the most personable.

Where I work is depressing. I don't feed like a student. I had issues with depression for a few months last year. This has been explained to my supervisors and I have given a doctors note to back me up. They have said that my wellbeing is the most important thing but they dont follow through on this and still dont allow me to control my own work. I have lectures in university this semester and I was told to go straight back to where I work after them. This adds 3 hours of driving on to my day.

I'm unhappy, I cant focus. I want to quit but my parents would think I'm a failure. I dont feel like I have any real support. I thrived in my undergrad with a good supervisor and now I feel like this situation/people have reduced me to a failure. I thought it would get easier but it just seems to get worse.

Hi,

Welcome to the darknest way ever: to get a PhD. I'd like to say you that I have never known anybody who spoke to me well about that period of time. Is absolutely horrendous, in my case as well. But you have to keep pushing. Try to find the thing that you like most about your thesis and keep going. If not, think about the posibility to have a temporary rest.

Cheer up and good luck!

I wonder if this is in part due to you having expected the PhD to be a continuation of a student experience and feeling disappointed that it's not? I don't know anyone really who still felt like a student - perhaps a better analogy would be an apprenticeship where you're a traineee member of staff? Most people I knew who had a collaborative sponsor (which it sounds like your second supervisor is from your OP) were expected to keep standard office hours and conform to the usual professional expectations of that firm / centre in terms of dress etc. They were simply expected to fit in - now if everyone else who works for this centre is allowed to work when and where they please , then you have a point to argue, but if not, I suspect that's something you just have to accept. On your first supervisor - yes academics are obsessed with publications, because that's what their employers expect as a basis for continuing employment. S/he will be trying to get publications out of your work for both of your sakes - not least so you have a chance of post-PhD employment. I wonder whether you had ideas of academia that didn't fit reality and so what's making you so unhappy is a kind of culture shock? If so, maybe the best thing to do is work out whether getting a PhD is worth working in an environment that makes you unhappy? But remember that some of the things that you are unhappy about are also standard features of a professional workplace - targets, rules, inflexible management etc are marks of a lot of graduate jobs.

I thought doing a PhD was a failure. If you are unhappy, you should make a list of reasons to stay and leave, then decide whether to stick out. Only those who want to write about your subject/field with minimum wage and do not care what others make of them should do a PhD. Once you finish your PhD, your life will get even tougher. I don't know your field, but the last time I checked, there aren't many academic jobs and some academics do 3 postdoc fellowship and move a country to get a lectureship. Is it really worth it?

Hi Cleancotton, it sounds to me like your experience is not at all typical for a phd (in terms of expected working place and hours etc), though as others have said, if you're based in industry/business setting the requirements and expectations can be more formal. That said, some university academics also keep close eye on their students and want them to be in the office certain hours, etc.

Maybe you have tried these things, but can you ask your supervisor/s for more flexible working arrangements, maybe on a trial basis at first, citing travel time/ other responsibilities/ health issues, stressing that this will improve your efficiency, and you will be very grateful and get more work done? This would be a reasonable request from a staff member also, if the job description permitted it. Or could you arrange to be based part time with your first supervisor at the uni? Or if you really think you can't work well with your current supervisors, you could try speaking to someone at the uni about changing your project or your supervisors, if your funding allows that. There might be other options than quitting if you want the phd. A phd should be hard, but in a challenging and rewarding way, not an awful experience to be suffered through.

But if what you really want is to leave to do something else, try not to worry about what other people will think. Easier said than done I know, but likely your family will not really think you have "failed", and even if they do, it's your life, not theirs. Leaving a situation that is not right for you is not a failure, in fact, staying in a bad situation too long could be seen as a failure. I'd make sure you find a job or another phd project before you quit though.

Best of luck! xx