Hello all the genius people

I am from a Biomedical Engineering background, did my B.Eng in my country followed by MSc in the same from UK. Now I am in my second year of PhD and I think I am struggling a lot. First of all I don't have full funding. I get paid my international tuition fees but I have to work part time on weekends for my living. I started my PhD in the field of robotic surgery and Laser scanning. I wasn't an expert in lasers but over a time and after reading a lot I am a bit confident about it. Now I am stuck in the Health and Safety rules and cannot use my Laser. Its been 5 months I havent used my instrument and the safety officers always bring some issues regarding this. I do have communication with my supervisor but he seems to be not very much bothered about the concerns I have as he is always extremely busy. So whatever little progress I have done till date its all done by me.

Also the bigger picture of the project always looks faint to me. I know in the later stages what I have to do, but I don't know how. I somehow cleared my first year annual review but I am scared about this years annual assessment as I haven't done much in this year as I have no data to show up. I was a good student in my undergrad and in my Masters and cleared both with distinction including my dissertation. Also Lasers, robotics wasnt my area but somehow I have been able to grasp a little knowledge using the literature. But very often during meetings I feel like a fool and not clever enough to pursue a PhD. I am not worried about working hard nor I am stupid. But since last year i feel I am a stupid and how-much ever I try to cheer up myself, I fail. I cant even give up my project due to high expectations I have always created in the minds of my parents and friends.

I am depressed and don't know what to do. Please help me out.

Thanks

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Can anyone offer any support or advice to Rjb10183?

======= Date Modified 31 May 2012 15:59:05 =======
Please help me out. Thanks Reenie to show the concern.

Hi,

Sorry to hear you're feeling down about the PhD. First of all, can I reassure you that you are not the only one who feels like this - I think all of us have been there at some point on the journey, it's par for the course with doing a PhD I think.

I'm not anywhere near you subject wise but I'm a bit concerned that you're using a piece of equipment that hasn't been cleared by health and safety. I think you need to take this up, firstly with the health and safety team, and secondly (or perhaps together with) you need to talk to your supervisor. From the way you've worded it I'm guessing your whole project centres around the use of this laser, so you need to get your sup on board to help you out. Is there any way you can reassure the health and safety department that the laser is safe for use? Is there anything you can do to make it safer? Please, please go to your supervisor and discuss this. They will always tell you they're busy but at the end of the day they are supposed to help us!

If you read through the posts on this forum you'll see you are not alone. I can't tell you how much it's helped me coming here on this forum and just interacting with other PhD students from time to time, especially when I've felt like you do now. Perhaps set yourself some achievable goals over the next few months, perhaps writing your literature review and methodology sections, whilst you wait for the laser health and safety to be sorted out. This will give you something to show your review panel and make you feel better because you'll be achieving something and it'll all help in the long run.

Hope that helps you somewhat - we're always here if you need help or just to moan! 8-)

Hi Rjb, I think it is going to be hard to give specific advice as many of us have no idea what is involved in a robotics phd, but it sounds really really smart and incredibly hard-so I would stop thinking that you can't cut it with other postgraduates.

But similarly to Lindalou's advice, I found that your comment on not being able to use your laser for five months due to OH & S quite concerning. How are you going to make progress if you can't actually do whatever it is you are doing with it-experimental data I am assuming? No wonder you are depressed-I would think that a lot of your feelings right now are just down to this 'block' and relative inactivity and lack of progress-not so much due to other things at all. Is there someone you can really get assertive with so that this block around your laser instrument is cleared or removed?

Sometimes, you just have to get really tough with people to get results- when you are a calm person who doesn't make a fuss, a lot of people just don't work hard enough to help solve your problems. They just nod and smile and say the right things and hope you will go away so that their day is a bit easier-really- it is sad but very true alas. So sometimes you just have to go in there and almost force people to act.

Sorry that I can't offer more help-but I know nothing about robotics or how you might write your thesis and while most of us know about the awful tides and currents of riding out the PhD process-right now your ship is snagged on a reef and you just HAVE to get your support people (Uni technicians, supervisor and the wretched OH & S people) to push it off! Then you can just go through the normal 'omg why am I doing this' phases that we all experience. Truly, I think that you are not just going through this bit-you have a real problem that can be solved but you must get whoever is responsible to help you solve it. Good luck-hope it goes well:-)

I can offer solidarity....

It can be very frustrating when something won't progress with the speed we hope! For my MS, I had to wait almost 1.5 years to start the actual experiments, but once I did, they went quite fast and I was able to still finish in 2 years + 1 summer.

My suggestion would be to contact the safety officer in charge, or perhaps someone else in your department who may have better luck.

Also, the first several years will be you thinking you must be the dumbest person alive and why are you doing this - until one day it clicks and you know more than you think! (At least it worked for my MS, I'm still in the dumb phase of my PhD.) Just keep reading, keep researching, try and get someone to help you move the lasers forward and give yourself a break as you are trying!