Supervisor badmouthing me - help

W

My supervisor is badmouthing me front of her colleagues and it's really disturbing me.

She's even blamed me for not coming to supervision where as a meter a fact, we normally do it via skype. She even CCd the secondary supervisor that I haven't come to any meetings whatsoever throughout the term! The ridiculous thing here, I was helping the supervisor with her other project (which is unrelated to my work at all), so that's why we didn't have any meetings together with the secondary supervisor.

I've raised the matter with the secondary supervisor and according to him, the first supervisor is busy so that's why she's behaving like that.
It seems from here that he's more interested to protect her well being (theirs?) instead of mine.

Help. What should I do? : (

T

you need to evaluate whether this relationship is going to work. Not all supervisors are good supervisors...fact. So if you don't anticipate things changing, be candid with the research director or whoever has the responsibility of managing phd research quality at your school. Ask either for the 2nd supervisor to become your 1st supervisor, or ask for a substitute. There's nothing worse than an unsupportive/bad supervisor to ruin your chances of doing well.

good luck!

Avatar for DrCorinne

I don't want to sound negative, but in my experience, if your sups are friends - and even if they are not- they are going to stick together and support each other.This does not meant that you cannot do anything about it. It depends on how far into your research project you are. If you are at the beginning you have the choice to change supervisor. Otherwise you can re-define your reciprocal expectations. However, I would avoid situations where you speak to one and then to the other, as this might create more trouble -people like that are very good at twisting words for their own convenience. You don't know what is behind this behavior. I would follow terrybagel advice, but I would try to organize a meeting with both first and see what they say. I would keep things professional and avoid anything that might create problems. I wouldn't be surprised if their wonderful friendship would vanish when you finish your PhD...

T

Quote From DrCorinne:
I wouldn't be surprised if their wonderful friendship would vanish when you finish your PhD...


What made you say that?

Avatar for DrCorinne

personal experience.

M

Quote From WorldAround:


I've raised the matter with the secondary supervisor and according to him, the first supervisor is busy so that's why she's behaving like that.
It seems from here that he's more interested to protect her well being (theirs?) instead of mine.
: (


But you also badmouthing your first supervisor by raising the matter...
In a sense, you also badmouth your secondary supervisor.

Perhaps seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Be cheerful! Don't get trapped in defending...
By defending yourself, some may suspect you're feeling guilty...

Avatar for DrCorinne

Quote From MeaninginLife:
[quote]Quote From WorldAround:


But you also badmouthing your first supervisor by raising the matter...
In a sense, you also badmouth your secondary supervisor.
[...]
By defending yourself, some may suspect you're feeling guilty...


MeaninginLife, I really fail to understand your point of view here. It sounds like the common view of many people in academia (sadly) - the victim of something has to take it on board otherwise she is perceived as a troublemaker, or worse, like the one who is misbehaving. This is exactly why some staff feel that can get away with anything.

Her first sup is not playing fairly and if she has a complaint to make this should be discussed with her student first, and with both student and 2nd sup if this is not sufficient.

It is in WA's rights to defend her position and what she has done so far, and to make sure that she can work in a supportive environment. She should be aware though that getting to do this is a difficult process and - for the above reasons- she should tread carefully.

M

As mentioned earlier, we should seek first to understand, then to be understood.

There are a few things we do not know about worldaround...
1. Which year is worldaround in?
2. There is nothing wrong for first supervisor to ask for meeting in her office. From the viewpoint of supervisor, it may seem strange why meetings have been through Skype.
3. Actually, secondary supervisor could be correct to say that first supervisor is busy, and thus behaving like that. Supervisors also have their stress nowadays over funding, publications, admin...

So, worldaround could also let us know if the supervisor has been "misbehaved" for months or years.
My main point is don't over-react. It could get worse!

In fact, from now on, i feel that there should be meeting with both supervisors for the moment.

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