Hi,
I am in the 3rd year of my PhD. My first two years have been riddled with problems and I have finally now gotten down to analyzing and writing down papers. My supervisor is generally very nice to me. I have never actually seen her angry with me. She is moody a lot of times. Last week, my institute scheduled me to give a PhD talk as its my final year. My boss was not in town. There were no other dates available and I had to give it on this friday. Today my boss comes back and said that she is upset that I did not tell her earlier and she would have liked to have known earlier. I feel awful. I know its not in my hands and I told her that. She says, she would have insisted to the organisers that I give it only later. And she is now upset with me. What do I do? I really feel bad.

Least said soonest mended? Pointing out that your sup is being unjust will just agravate the situation and apologising for something that wasn't your fault will just agravate you. I don't see that you have any reason to feel guilty about the situation since you gave your talk on the only available occasion. Presumably your sup was aware that final years give talks - if noone knows about the presentations how do they get an audience, so she could have asked when yours was happening.

It could be argued that you should have asked her, so given that you didn't and that upset her, just apologise and move on. These things happen, and it only has to become a big issue if you/her make it one.

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and it doesn't have to be a big thing. Just apologise.

Maybe she's just a little disappointed because you're not going to have time to prepare?? I can't see why she's upset with you but I see the phd as a means to an end so the only thing for you to do, in my opinion, is to move on. You've explained and apologised, she's still sulking (by the sounds of it!), so maybe it's her issue and not yours? Please don't feel awful, you took the decision that you thought it was best, we all make mistakes and most of us will make a decision that challenges our sup at some point, all part of the process:-)

Thank you guys!.. Makes me feel so much better after sharing. She was away for the past month and a half and got back last week. I guess she could argue that I should have emailed her and yes i do agree that she is concerned that I might not be able to give a good talk. But I have said sorry for not informing her and that it would never happen again. But its a strange feeling when there is some unpleasantness around..and I'm not used to it. Well.. I guess i just have to give a good talk on friday and prove everybody wrong!.. :)

Thank you so much guys. :)

Lots are learned about others during a phd...

Good luck on Friday!

Hi bluejay,

It is probably that she would have preferred to go through the preparation with you - could you perhaps send her an outline or your ppt slides to put her mind at ease tht you have a good talk planned? The thing is that supervisors tend to get blamed internally by their manager if any of the PhD students give poor presentations, or are unable to answer difficult questions, so the more conscientous tend to prefer to help their students prepare and check their material for any obvious flaws.