I am at the end of my first year and it has been a real struggle for me….

Another PhD student started at exactly the same time as me, working on the same project. We are both funded in the same way and initially no distinction was made between us. We both have the same 2 supervisors (one is my primary supervisor and the other is hers). We always had meetings with 4 of us, us 2 students and the 2 supervisors. I think the plan was for us to drift apart in our work gradually over time...

...I initially found her very hard to work with, she is somewhat obsessive and in the early days would go away and complete work we were supposed to do together. After a while I went to the supervisors and said I wasn’t happy and wanted to be made more separate. Now we have individual meetings and rarely talk to each other. I feel she is making more progress and is getting more support.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Is this a common thing or was the whole setup always doomed ??

I would love to hear from you.

Well, I've been in a similar situation (though final project, not PhD). In my case, I was the "obsessive" one. I was really interested and wanted to know everything, but I was stuck with a person who just didn't bother. So after a while I simply gave up and did some of her work as well (because I had to wait for her to finish before I could continue).

So in my experience, making two students work too close, just isn't a good idea. I like cooperation, but this kind of codependence... It just slows one person down and stresses the other one.

Yes - I helped a research colleague whilst she was having family problems by doing her culture work. It was no problem as I had my own to do anyway. I think as long as the other person appreciates it things work out ok. We both got through!