Lads and ladies,
I got into the PhD almost 4 years ago solely and utterly because I wanted to teach - no other motivation! Now, I am just so sick of it and the only reason I am staying is to somehow stay on track for lecturing, but I am asking myself, am I actually forsaking everything else in my life (put a whole load of personal stuff on hold).

To top it all off, I am broke at the moment and no funding. I would have loved to go straight to the pub in frustration but I can't even afford a Babycham. Just pi$$ed off at the whole inequity of it all!

I know everyone says persevere, but if it is a case of perservering and then letting other stuff go in your life, whats the point? To be honest, I would love to travel before I get too old.

Sorry for the lack of structure but just in a mess at the mo.

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I think it all boils down to the fact that we can't have everything and so we must choose what it is that we really want.

If I want to be in academia, I'm never going to be millionnaire.

If I want to progress with other aspects of my life such as turning a hobby into something more serious, I'm never going to finish my PhD.

If I want to finish my PhD, then the dream of travelling around the world does have to wait.

It's the classic case of you have to pick your fight carefully. None of us have the time/money/energy/etc. to achieve everything we dream of.

So what is it that YOU really want to achieve with your life?

Cheers Pink,
You hit the nail on the head. Could go into the pros/cons of heading off (I would like to incorporate a bit of travel with the teaching), but that in itself would be a paper ha ha.

Had a good hour or two just staring out the window and asking myself a few tough questions. Boils down to also do I think I have the courage to do whatever course of action I decide to. Think I need to talk to a few people ... some of the whole thing is also what would people think, but have got over that hump as I know the people that matter don't care so long as I am happy and being somebit constructive.

That said, not gonna torch any bridges ... yet!

how much have you got to do on the PhD?

Pink_Numbers has provided a really, really good post. I can't really add to it other than to say you won't have to make sacrifices much longer. You're young and I presume you can't be far from the finish line. Once it's done, it's done. I'm going to quickly relay a story to you, relevant to your dilemma, that has always stuck with me. It involves a portly middle-aged man, a Superkings Black cigarette and took place round the back of a hospital.
The portly middle-aged man happened to be an NHS manager, so is probably unemployed now - or soon will be. He was having a fag-break and I, as I always seem to do, was complaining about never having the time to do anything properly other than my work. Anyway, he said getting my qualifications out of the way at a young-ish age will help set me up for life, and that it's better to make the sacrifices now and reap the 'rewards' later. I think he's right in a way. And this, I'm aware, is the worst advice I have ever given. What I'm trying to say is, you can have everything you want, achieve anything you want and you won't always be brassic - you won't always be subservient to your PhD.
A good lot of us on this forum are going through exactly the same thing as you - and have exactly the same feelings.

hello there
I think you can get out of this "mess", how much more of the phd do you need to do?
how bout finding a way round this area first?
then you can travel and do all the things you like, maybe just a little bit of time is needed to get over this.

If you leave the phd now, it seems like a waste, and you did put effort in this! of course!

sorry to hear you are broke, but money will come (and it goes)
believe me
love satchi

It is not a fixed duration per se so could be anything up to 3 more years!
I know that each and every one of us goes through this at least once every 6 months/yearly so just venting a bit ... Grrrrrrr! Every PhD has its own problems and I think this is a case of mine just reminding me of their existence.
I'll be grand alright - just need a few days thinking

Maybe you need a holiday? I know 1-2 weeks is probably not what you imagined somewhere, (although 2 weeks anywhere and I'm bored - I'm not really a traveller), but you can do both to some extent. Obviously money is tight, but why not pick a destination, save up and go there for 2 weeks -you could investigate somewhere in europe with a tent! - if you want it you will do it :-)

I agree, it'd be a waste to leave it now. I am battling with my hubby over this. He's working full time and finding it hard to finish and was talking about walking away at one point (his is literally an edit and proof read away from submission). But I think its just, for him anyway, if he didn't submit then he won't have technically failed, whereas if he submits then who knows? - so I just told him to stop being an idiot, submit it and see what happens - a few hissy fits later, and he's finally started to finish it off

Hey Bonzo! Sounds like you need a bit of time-out to me to have a think about things and work out what you want. I have just had a couple of weeks off and I didn't go away (except to a 3-day conference I was presenting at) and I can't tell you how much better things are after just a little bit of time away from work. I know our situations are not the same (I wasn't thinking about quitting, I was just burnt out and needed some me-time!) but a little time off and a bit of relaxation can help you see things more clearly and give you the energy to make decisions and put them into practice. It sounds pretty tough if you are out of funding and still got a long way to go, so a breather will do you some good whatever you decide! Best, KB

I have literally just started my PhD (read 3 weeks) and don't have the foggiest idea what 4 years in would feel like. But I have been out earning money for a lot of years. Two things to think about - if you leave it will be very hard to go back - once you are earning a decent living it is very hard to return to a student's lifestyle and 2) the world will always be there.
I am in my late 30s and have been traveling for the past 3 years, I didn't do any before then. And I don't regret for a minute not traveling when I was younger. Being older, with a bigger skill set makes travel in many ways easier. Jobs are easier to come by etc etc.
The other thing to think about is what skill set are walking away with now if you leave? A partly finished PhD and a large gap between postgrad and work will not look brilliant on a resume. May not be nice to hear, but it is the truth.

Had a bit of time to think about it and it was just me being the drama queen y'day. In truth, what happened y'day was beneficial, as I actually do need to go back and really redefine exactly what I am looking at, why and how I propose to carry out the main phase (had a meeting where a second sup was coming on board, which, long story short, is worth taking one step back - she had only read my intro so couldn't really expect to understand where I was coming from). I was just ready to do surveys this week and thought it was all agreed with the sup, but apparently not. Think it was a bit of an overreaction as it felt as if I was being asked to go back to year dot but realistically, I have most of what is needed already looked up and besides, it might be good to actually revise the Lit. In my own mind I saw 6-12 months of poverty being added on (where's that violin music coming from?), but on hindsight I am confident that it won't be that bad!

Am gonna work for a few weeks and then a week or so off and just do a bit of gardening, reading and some guitar. After all, am saving for the round of world trip next year when I am finished ... anyone on for a trip to Savanah - the Sludge metal capital of the World?
8-)


Cheers lads and ladies - we'll get to our destinations alright