I've been working on my PhD for the past 8 months and can't get the hang of my tutor. i actually had to fight her to be "allowed" to do analyses I thought would be interesting (they were, confirmed by tutor no 2 who lives out of town!), got an idea which she literally stole (got witnesses) and am in general being bossed around and ridiculed. I tried telling her both diplomatically and bluntly, but she's got some kind of armour and seems completely unaffected. Talked to the head of dept. who agreed with me too but no change has happened. HEEEEEEEEEEELP!

tutor? as in your supervisor? i dont understand whats going on
can't you request a change of supervisor
and for future, try to handle supervisor's more tactfully, i know u might be genuinely upset, but fighting will only harm you...

get another supervisor ASAP. It sound like you're onto a looser. It's good that the HOD is helping, maybe they can find someone.

try not to make an enemy of your supervisor, they probably have a lot to do and you need to treat them gently sometimes. supervisors are human too - or so I am told! They may not have understood what you wanted to do but got a bit upset themselves by your attitude. I'm not condoning what they did by the way, but try to look at it from their point of view too. Don't get too eager to tell tales on them, it may well get back to them and whatever you may think of them now, you amy need them later. You don't say what your area is, and that can make a difference but try to work with them rather than against them, its difficult I know when you have problems, but may be for the best in the long run.

totally agree with Joyce, and remember if you will not handle your supervisor carefully, dont be mistaken, all other faculty members, will have reservation about your attitude with supervisor's n general. Again, i am not judging you, you might be right, but you will need to be careful and not give the impression that you are disrespectful towrds your faculty or that you have low patience or bad temparament. Try to maintain a brand image of a collegial colleague....be

Hello everyone who answered! I think I need to clarify things a little. Thank you for your replies by the way! I am analysing the effect of certain medications on the foetus and pregnancy outcome - so pharmacy is my field. To your advice on being polite, I actually haven't been quarreling or answering back or refusing to do anything...yet. I see your point entirely. All I needed was some other points of view since I'm new and don't know what is normal and what isn't. Yesterday my tutor/supervisor told me she wants all my SPSS syntaxes since she hasn't the time to do them herself...So I said nothing. That's my problem now.

If your head of dept agrees with you then you are probably accurate in your assessment. In my experience, this kind of situation is not uncommon in a lab project, where it is difficult to maintain boundaries wrt what is yours alone. Unfortunately it is also common to be asked to do a lot of stuff for the lab or your sup that is not really part of your project. I have seen some really extreme cases of this and one friend complained to the university and is in the very tortuous proces of extracting enough data from her now ex-sup to complete her PhD. I'd like to tell you that you can improve her behaviour but unfortunately that is not my experience - it's either put up and shut up or move on.

I have a dodgy supervisor at the moment, mine shouts and finds ways of blaming me for her mistakes and I'm going to move on as soon as I can. Just find another sup, a PhD is hard work enough and it can take a long time, too long to put up with this sort of treatment. I would say it's the 'bossing around' and 'ridiculing' which is the real red flag in this situation and what suggests youor sup has very dodgy boundaries. That's a bully at work and I'd get away ASAP, it's still early enough in your PhD for a move to be smooth. Good luck.

Be positive about things (and I don't mean be positive that it is all horrible and will never get any better! ) If your super is anything like me she will give anything- even her last choc - to get someone else to do SPSS, wish I could just pass it on to someone else - I've avoided it so far at the moment by arguing it isn't necessary for my data, so fingers crossed it will be always so. Things will improve I'm sure, just give it a bit of time. I'm not lab based -when I have my research hat on, - but I know what its like to have to bite your tongue from time to time, never gets any easier, but in the end it can get you what you want so look forward to your final goal, and just think of these things as bumps in the road.

Now the weekend has passed and I read all your comments and calmed down. Thanks a lot guys! OK, I'll try and see this as just another bump in the way....it's a pity things have to be this way though. Why can't people just communicate a little better...I mean, if she just honestly said that she's really stressed out/can't do it/is afraid of it...I would never ever judge her in any negative way. So she knows other stuff. We can't all know everything. And by the way, I am not working in a lab . Pharmacy isn't all lab, you know . Best wishes to you all!

katerinh, I understand that you probably just use an expression; but deeper down, we all know that we cannot expect all people to be nice, or nice all the time. There are those people who just are trying to mess others around, so if I were you, I will first try to see if I can change that by talking/negotiating with her; if after a while, she is still like that, you may have to do something "tough", it is only You that should stand up for yourself and make sure you won't get affected by any "evil" people.

You have to somehow stand up - there is a period of allowing people the benefit of the doubt, but if this behaviour is continous, it's clear that the relationship in which you should be benefiting from is clearly one-sided. If you can, the next time the line is crossed, ask your supervisor why this was done and more importantly how does this action assist YOUR research (which is your prime reason for being there).

Failing all that, just get the first few seconds of this and send it onto the supervisor
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q41eoZXDb64